Author Topic: Jokes so bad they're punny (Read 669976 times)

Why are there no Aspirin in the jungle?

Because the parrots ate ‘em all

Why shouldn’t you play hide and seek in the jungle.

Because jungle is massive

Here ends all jungle based jokes.

Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov · « **Reply #2380 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:01:18 am »

Quote from: BIG DICK NICK on February 7, 2019, 08:56:37 am

Why are there no Aspirin in the jungle?

Because the parrots ate ‘em all

Why shouldn’t you play hide and seek in the jungle.

Because jungle is massive

Here ends all jungle based jokes.

Did you hear about the crocodile fashion guru? He was a snappy dresser

24/7 · « **Reply #2381 on:** February 7, 2019, 04:21:13 pm »

Quote from: Mediocre Baron Bennekov on February 7, 2019, 08:52:51 am

Why are poker tournaments not played in the jungle?

There are too many cheetas.

But cheetahs are primarily animals of the plains and savannahs rather than the jungle. Too many trees in the way of a straight run and they famously cannot climb well....

afc tukrish · « **Reply #2382 on:** February 7, 2019, 04:24:23 pm »

Quote from: 24/7 on February 7, 2019, 04:21:13 pm

But cheetahs are primarily animals of the plains and savannahs rather than the jungle. Too many trees in the way of a straight run and they famously cannot climb well....

Wild feline geek weighing in from somewhere in the Baltics?

Sir Capon of Debaser · « **Reply #2383 on:** February 7, 2019, 05:30:51 pm »

From what i remember aboot that Cheetah joke it was Cheeta the chimpanzee from the old tarzan movies and kinda lost its meaning over the years cos of the double meaning.One of them being one many people arent familiar with

Tesco tearaway · « **Reply #2384 on:** February 7, 2019, 06:13:28 pm »

My mate went to an industrial tribunal to claim for work related hearing loss.
Two months later and he still hasn't heard anything.

Mumm-Ra · « **Reply #2385 on:** February 7, 2019, 07:01:30 pm »

Quote from: Capon Debaser on February 7, 2019, 05:30:51 pm

From what i remember aboot that Cheetah joke it was Cheeta the chimpanzee from the old tarzan movies and kinda lost its meaning over the years cos of the double meaning.One of them being one many people arent familiar with

Like the one about Michael Jackson being a West Ham fan

24/7 · « **Reply #2386 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:43:26 pm »

Quote from: afc turkish on February 7, 2019, 04:24:23 pm

Wild feline geek weighing in from somewhere in the Baltics?

Mahahual actually.

24/7 · « **Reply #2387 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:44:13 pm »

Reading a book on the development of superglue. Can't put it down.

The Gulleysucker · « **Reply #2388 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:46:32 pm »

Quote from: 24/7 on February 7, 2019, 09:44:13 pm

Reading a book on the development of superglue. Can't put it down.

You'll get stuck on page 34...

Tesco tearaway · « **Reply #2389 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:46:34 pm »

Quote from: 24/7 on February 7, 2019, 09:44:13 pm

Reading a book on the development of superglue. Can't put it down.

Make this one a sticky at the top of the page.

Tesco tearaway · « **Reply #2390 on:** February 7, 2019, 09:51:14 pm »

My mate had an accident and his ear was ripped off.
The only thing the surgeons had to replace it with that was compatible was a pigs ear.
Saw him a few weeks after the operation and asked him how it was.
"It's ok," he said "but I get a bit of crackling now and then."

I've been a good boy · « **Reply #2391 on:** February 7, 2019, 10:00:42 pm »

Left my job at the gym. Good pay but just didn't quite work out.

Sir Capon of Debaser · « **Reply #2392 on:** February 7, 2019, 11:41:35 pm »

Quote from: Mumm-Ra on February 7, 2019, 07:01:30 pm

Like the one about Michael Jackson being a West Ham fan

Fingers crossed

afc tukrish · « **Reply #2393 on:** February 8, 2019, 12:47:42 am »

Quote from: 24/7 on February 7, 2019, 09:43:26 pm

Mahahual actually.

Ooh, Costa Maya, not especially Baltic there this time of year, or any time, really...

24/7 · « **Reply #2394 on:** February 8, 2019, 01:02:01 am »

Quote from: afc turkish on February 8, 2019, 12:47:42 am

Ooh, Costa Maya, not especially Baltic there this time of year, or any time, really...

Costa Maybe. So windy here.

Anyway, I just tried starting a business here selling single beach footwear. It was a flop. Oh fuck off

paulrazor · « **Reply #2395 on:** February 8, 2019, 11:39:13 am »

Quote from: Tesco tearaway on February 7, 2019, 06:13:28 pm

My mate went to an industrial tribunal to claim for work related hearing loss.
Two months later and he still hasn't heard anything.

Quote from: King.Keita on February 4, 2019, 09:29:43 am

afc tukrish · « **Reply #2396 on:** February 8, 2019, 12:16:28 pm »

Quote from: 24/7 on February 8, 2019, 01:02:01 am

Costa Maybe. So windy here.

Anyway, I just tried starting a business here selling single beach footwear. It was a flop. Oh fuck off

I've been a good boy · « **Reply #2397 on:** February 8, 2019, 02:01:32 pm »

Someone nicked my gate yesterday. I was going to chase him down but I thought he might take a fence.

Dirkydirkdirk · « **Reply #2398 on:** February 8, 2019, 02:30:55 pm »

What's big and green and kills you if it falls out of a tree onto your head?

A snooker table.

IgorBobbins · « **Reply #2399 on:** February 8, 2019, 03:14:41 pm »

Just saw a documentary on shipbuilding and how ships are kept together.

Riveting.