Author Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread (Read 1015608 times)

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9440 on:** November 6, 2013, 06:54:12 pm »

Im just watching from afar guys. You know where i am if u need me, or anyone else from in here.

Red Genius · « **Reply #9441 on:** November 7, 2013, 12:50:50 am »

Skunk Anasie - Heonism...

I HOPE YOU`RE FEELING HAPPY NOW
I SEE YOU FEEL NO PAIN AT ALL IT SEEMS
I WONDER WHAT YOU`RE DOIN` NOW
I WONDER IF YOU THINK OF ME AT ALL
DO YOU STILL PLAY THE SAME MOVES NOW
OR ARE THOSE SPECIAL MOODS FOR SOMEONE ELSE
I HOPE YOU`RE FEELING HAPPY NOW

JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL GOOD
DOESN`T MAKE YOU RIGHT, OH NO
JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL GOOD
STILL WANT YOU HERE TONIGHT

- tomorrow will always be potentially a better day.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9442 on:** November 7, 2013, 07:36:23 pm »

Alex, fancy joining us mate ...

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9443 on:** November 12, 2013, 07:42:26 pm »

Heres a tip, be careful who u let see this thread...

TepidT2O · « **Reply #9444 on:** November 12, 2013, 07:49:15 pm »

Oh dear. Doesn't sound great mate. Trouble?

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9445 on:** November 12, 2013, 07:53:25 pm »

Not trouble. Just a major let down.

TepidT2O · « **Reply #9446 on:** November 12, 2013, 08:13:02 pm »

Quote from: Sr Harvest Fiields on November 12, 2013, 07:53:25 pm

Not trouble. Just a major let down.

You've got nothing to be ashamed of mate.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9447 on:** November 12, 2013, 08:19:58 pm »

Im not ashamed mate. I have put my heart and soul into this thread. Ive told you all things i dont have the balls to say to anyone in real life. Ive opened myself up to all sorts of shit but i hoped it would have been used as an insight to my struggles rather than a stick to beat me with.

Red Genius · « **Reply #9448 on:** November 12, 2013, 08:53:48 pm »

Anyone who uses a stick to beat you with having got yourself to where you are from where you have come from, is not appreciating you Carl mate.

Not to mention how refreshingly honest and open you've been along the way. Hope you're well mate.

AndyInVA · « **Reply #9449 on:** November 13, 2013, 02:18:10 pm »

for me, no one sees this thread in my REAL life

its nobodys business but mine

and posts at certain of the day or during certain moods can probably be taken the wrong way in the cold light of day

i dont trust anyone that much to tell them about this thread

Euskadi · « **Reply #9450 on:** November 15, 2013, 01:08:40 am »

Quote from: BRdispatch05 on November 4, 2013, 09:36:26 pm

Gotcha, should be an interesting read, I will take a look at each of them when I get home. Thanks for the links

Hi mate I have read your posts and i really don't want to over complicate things, but i just want to firstly commend your for being so honest on here and I am sure that the help and support you are receiving on here and sharing your feelings has helped. However, I will speak from personal experience that everything you have mentioned above i tried, and most of what you expressed I felt but I actually started taking AA seriously and Im 6 and a half years sober and I have never looked back since, it is not easy and it is not a pill you swallow which makes you feel better overnight but if you work it and really surrender it changes your life mate. Quite frankly I wouldn't be here telling my story if I had not been in AA. I wish your the very best mate and if you ever need more detailed advice or help PM me.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9451 on:** November 20, 2013, 11:17:31 am »

I guess most of you have heard about my little accident. Im really starting to wonder how many times i can fuck death off. Ive been riding since i was 7 years old and came off many times but something is different this time. Im starting to wonder if its time for a change. Im still shaking from Monday night ffs. I know it could have been a lot worse but long term readers of this thread may understand where im coming from. Death keeps tugging at me lapels and its starting to get to me. Just thought id get that out. Sorry.

cowtownred · « **Reply #9452 on:** November 20, 2013, 11:54:52 am »

Quote from: Sr Harvest Fiields on November 20, 2013, 11:17:31 am

I guess most of you have heard about my little accident. Im really starting to wonder how many times i can fuck death off. Ive been riding since i was 7 years old and came off many times but something is different this time. Im starting to wonder if its time for a change. Im still shaking from Monday night ffs. I know it could have been a lot worse but long term readers of this thread may understand where im coming from. Death keeps tugging at me lapels and its starting to get to me. Just thought id get that out. Sorry.

You talking about car v deer mate?

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9453 on:** November 20, 2013, 11:56:07 am »

No mate. Rabbit vs me.

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=309950.0

Just feel strange.

cowtownred · « **Reply #9454 on:** November 20, 2013, 12:38:18 pm »

Quote from: Sr Harvest Fiields on November 20, 2013, 11:56:07 am

No mate. Rabbit vs me.

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=309950.0

Just feel strange.

Right, with you now mate.

I think its partly an age thing.

I had a pretty big off about 3 months ago. Tried a daft overtake that was never on, met a bus and panicked. All that knowing how to engine brake, don't clutch etc etc just goes right to hell and you pull ever lever within reach.. Just rember sliding up the road waiting for the wheels on my skull... just missed. Yeah and ripped one side right off me new ZX6R.

Deffo makes you slow down a bit...

20 years ago I'd just have went even harder.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9455 on:** November 29, 2013, 07:37:25 am »

How is everyone doing. I have the odd PM etc off friends but just thought id ask on here in case anyone wants to say owt.

Christmas is coming fast, whats your plans etc. Tough time of year.

Ive a funeral next friday. I was in care for the first 18 of my 21 years ( care order stayed on till i was 21 ) with the same two parents as it were. I kept my distance when i left care as it was messing with my head and i had allsorts ringing around up top so i distanced myself from them. Roger ( foster dad ) passed away on Saturday and im a little bit miffed that i never kept in contact. He came to both my parents funerals and he instilled a good set of manners and respect in me so i owe him a lot. If id have stayed with my parents id be a drunkard that falls in fires and gets taser.... oh fuck.

Always happens dont it, hindsight. He was a very good man and once again my stubborness meant i never got the chance to tell him. Feel a lot worse than i thought i would to be honest. I hate the care system and the social services with a passion. Its a very big no-no in my life. I felt they took away my mum and dad. I used that against Roger and his wife and now he's gone i feel a right c*nt. They did a good job to be honest and once again i feel im stood here looking back and realising what ive lost.

You never know what you have until its gone. These last few years have certainly shown me that.

Sorry guys, had to get that out

TepidT2O · « **Reply #9456 on:** November 29, 2013, 07:43:34 am »

Going to the funeral will tell everyone that you appreciated him.

If his wife is still alive you could tell her then. I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. Sometimes though, just a look can say everything...

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9457 on:** November 30, 2013, 10:26:35 am »

Yea i know mate. Fucking stupid thing is, at the same church, two hours earlier is my aunts funeral. Cant make them both cos the boss wont let me off so ive had to choose the latter one which is his. Feel a c*nt as its my Mums last remaining sister as well.Well, it WAS.

TepidT2O · « **Reply #9458 on:** November 30, 2013, 10:49:27 am »

Quote from: Sr Harvest Fiields on November 30, 2013, 10:26:35 am

Yea i know mate. Fucking stupid thing is, at the same church, two hours earlier is my aunts funeral. Cant make them both cos the boss wont let me off so ive had to choose the latter one which is his. Feel a c*nt as its my Mums last remaining sister as well.Well, it WAS.

That's a difficult situation.

I have huge respect for foster careers. I'm sure it can be a thankless task.

loozy · « **Reply #9459 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:09:56 am »

Alright, lads and lasses, prompted by the Daley-thread I am asking if I can use some of these posts to make my pupils aware of the issue and problems that alcohol can pose.

For those who do not know: I am a secondary school teacher with a fantastic class that has already been through a lot (lost a student to cancer, had a couple of girls in hospital due to alcohol poisoning, three are in foster care, one is gay (not in issue for his classmates but for some outside the group, etc...) and aside from boring stuff like grammar and pronunciation and spelling and cultural studies, I am also talking with them about a lot of contemporary and current issues, like footie (I turned them into avid footie fans if they weren't already

) - alcohol being one of them, now that they are turning 16 or already crossed that line and are allowed to buy beer legally now. Some of them already do binge drinking and it is worrying me a tad so if maybe I can use some of your posts (anonymously) to showcase what alcohol can do to you and your environment, that would be much appreciated.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9460 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:14:29 am »

You can use mine, and it doesnt have to be anonymous on my part. Ive nowt left to hide. Personally if what i , or others in here have been through can help the next generation then fill your boots. If that doesnt make them think ill pay them a visit

Can you change my name to summat cool though. Like Carlos Van Dingleburg The 3rd , or Shagger. Nowt too ostentatious naturally. Dont forget the ' Sir '

loozy · « **Reply #9461 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:16:23 am »

Quote from: Sir ShepherdsintheFieldsbyNight on December 4, 2013, 10:14:29 am

You can use mine, and it doesnt have to be anonymous on my part. Ive nowt left to hide. Personally if what i , or others in here have been through can help the next generation then fill your boots. If that doesnt make them think ill pay them a visit

Can you change my name to summat cool though. Like Carlos Van Dingleburg The 3rd , or Shagger. Nowt too ostentatious naturally. Dont forget the ' Sir '

If you want to pay them a visit, you'll have to fly to Germany

Ta, mate, I really appreciate it, Sir Shagger van Dingleburg the 3rd

Red Genius · « **Reply #9462 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:16:40 am »

Always happy to educate mate... anything you need. Carl is the consistent drinker, i'm a binge drinker, so whatever you need mate that helps stop one person getting into the headspace we've been at is a good thing, right?

loozy · « **Reply #9463 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:23:06 am »

Quote from: Red Wise Man on December 4, 2013, 10:16:40 am

Always happy to educate mate... anything you need. Carl is the consistent drinker, i'm a binge drinker, so whatever you need mate that helps stop one person getting into the headspace we've been at is a good thing, right?

Thanks to you, too

I hope some of your posts will be an eye-opener.

Red Genius · « **Reply #9464 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:25:27 am »

Quote from: loozy on December 4, 2013, 10:23:06 am

Thanks to you, too I hope some of your posts will be an eye-opener.

My posts will no doubt be gibberish... because i'm often pissed when i write them. If you want a sober account of life as a pissed up tool - you need but ask.

Johnnyboy1973 · « **Reply #9465 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:34:50 am »

Quote from: loozy on December 4, 2013, 10:09:56 am

Alright, lads and lasses, prompted by the Daley-thread I am asking if I can use some of these posts to make my pupils aware of the issue and problems that alcohol can pose.

This is my most enlightening one.

Quote from: Johnnyboy1973 on May 25, 2012, 10:35:09 pm

.

Red Genius · « **Reply #9466 on:** December 4, 2013, 10:42:25 am »

lol Johnny lad, had to double check the year then... thought you were about to indoctrinate them kids to half of Liverpool being pissed up in 2005

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9467 on:** December 5, 2013, 08:25:54 am »

Ask the kids ' why ' they binge drink. I was just thinking maybe we could all learn a bit from them as much as they could from us. Another idea, and yes this is as much for my benefit as anyone elses maybe they could do a list of questions that we could answer. Kids are honest and upfront and education is key. Just a thought.

AndyInVA · « **Reply #9468 on:** December 5, 2013, 01:48:05 pm »

Quote from: loozy on December 4, 2013, 10:09:56 am

Alright, lads and lasses, prompted by the Daley-thread I am asking if I can use some of these posts to make my pupils aware of the issue and problems that alcohol can pose.

For those who do not know: I am a secondary school teacher with a fantastic class that has already been through a lot (lost a student to cancer, had a couple of girls in hospital due to alcohol poisoning, three are in foster care, one is gay (not in issue for his classmates but for some outside the group, etc...) and aside from boring stuff like grammar and pronunciation and spelling and cultural studies, I am also talking with them about a lot of contemporary and current issues, like footie (I turned them into avid footie fans if they weren't already ) - alcohol being one of them, now that they are turning 16 or already crossed that line and are allowed to buy beer legally now. Some of them already do binge drinking and it is worrying me a tad so if maybe I can use some of your posts (anonymously) to showcase what alcohol can do to you and your environment, that would be much appreciated.

use mine all you like

I think its quite a challenge to educate teenagers about drinking when they really dont want to hear it

the threat is very real and I like most of us went through the binge drinking phase with all my friends in our late teens and 20s but only I became a hard core alkie

from my perspective I think its hard to tell kids not to do it because I know they would. they need to know the basics of not driving drunk and sex and such

the biggest lesson i think is being able to notice if you have problem or not

do you drink at times when your friends are not drinking

are you drinking every single day

do you drink twice as much as your friends when you go out

these to me are the real indicators that that person will have a problem down the road

best of luck

loozy · « **Reply #9469 on:** December 5, 2013, 02:11:19 pm »

Quote from: Sir ShepherdsintheFieldsbyNight on December 5, 2013, 08:25:54 am

Ask the kids ' why ' they binge drink. I was just thinking maybe we could all learn a bit from them as much as they could from us. Another idea, and yes this is as much for my benefit as anyone elses maybe they could do a list of questions that we could answer. Kids are honest and upfront and education is key. Just a thought.

They binge drink because it's cool and fun and everybody does it

One of the girls said that it was THE thing to do and that only nerds and geeks and loners didn't drink. I asked her to distinguish between drinking and binge drinking and the ones that do already drink on a regular basis were a bit stuck for words. May also have been due to there not being a proper German expression for binge drinking.

That is an excellent idea and I will keep it in mind when I am actually going to discuss the topic with them properly which is going to be after Christmas - the thread is such a bottomless (positive!) pit of posts to use as example etc that I will have to wade my way through it and pick the right stuff.

@ AndyInVa
Thanks for the questions. They made me and my fella go back to when we were teenagers and how we and our friends/classmates behaved towards drinking then.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9470 on:** December 5, 2013, 02:38:34 pm »

Loners? Strange you say that as that was when it became hardest for me. I drank massively when alone, it was a big thing for me.

loozy · « **Reply #9471 on:** December 5, 2013, 02:41:10 pm »

Quote from: Sir ShepherdsintheFieldsbyNight on December 5, 2013, 02:38:34 pm

Loners? Strange you say that as that was when it became hardest for me. I drank massively when alone, it was a big thing for me.

Maybe it is an age thing? If I may be so intrusive, did you drink at a young age when you were alone?

The majority still see drinking as a social thing - they have not become addicted to it yet, per se, though those that already indulge say that it's part of their weekend routine and that a weekend without alcohol is deemed an 'epic fail' (quote).

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9472 on:** December 5, 2013, 02:54:23 pm »

Im known as the family alcoholic as i drink. My sister isnt, but she admits to the fact she cant relax without a glass or two of wine after work. Thats an addiction in my eye. Does that mean its the same for the younger drinkers?

You can ask what you want, ive no secrets in here. Not when i was young i didnt. I hardly drank at all if im honest. I went almost 4 years not touching a single drop. You can ask why i started again and i honestly could not give an answer. I really dont know.

Red Genius · « **Reply #9473 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:00:29 pm »

So i stumble back to the quiet lovely haven that is this thread!

The amount i've drank in the last two weeks, well it isn't worth publishing, it'd put Tom's coming out to shame. Change is required, without it - well you end up on the road to an unpleasant and lonely place.

So RAWK'ites, what i ask is - got any practical solutions to getting my head out from up my arse and into a better place? Spoke to Carl earlier and there is an AA group going down town later, he said he wasn't a fan, but i just wanna try doing something pro-active about all this, and at this moment that's about the limit of my creative thinking.

My folks seem to think i need to see a shrink to get to the bottom of why i get like this, they are however in Portugal and seeing someone that can unlock my box through the NHS takes months, and i really don't have either the patience or durability to wait that sort of time.

So - over to you guys, any help is genuinely much appreciated, i'll take any advice, i don't think i know it all (clearly!)

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9474 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:04:47 pm »

Yes mate, IM not a fan. It does work for many many others though. Its a great positive step if thats what you WANT...

Red Genius · « **Reply #9475 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:17:40 pm »

Quote from: Sir ShepherdsintheFieldsbyNight on December 5, 2013, 03:04:47 pm

Yes mate, IM not a fan. It does work for many many others though. Its a great positive step if thats what you WANT...

I want change mate, i want not to live like this, i just want to be happy.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #9476 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:21:00 pm »

Then you, and you alone have the ability to do this...

Red Genius · « **Reply #9477 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:25:06 pm »

I know that mate, i just literally have no idea where to start... do i tackle the drinking first? do i go to the docs in the hope i find someone to talk about why i drink? do i just stop punishing myself for all the hurt i caused and hope that irradicates the flashbacks...

I just genuinely have no idea, what i do, that will help. If somebody gave me a 5 point plan of action 'do these things and if you put the effort in you'll be ok' i'd tear their arm off.

SamAteTheRedAcid · « **Reply #9478 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:33:14 pm »

Quote from: Red Wise Man on December 5, 2013, 03:25:06 pm

I know that mate, i just literally have no idea where to start... do i tackle the drinking first? do i go to the docs in the hope i find someone to talk about why i drink? do i just stop punishing myself for all the hurt i caused and hope that irradicates the flashbacks...

I just genuinely have no idea, what i do, that will help. If somebody gave me a 5 point plan of action 'do these things and if you put the effort in you'll be ok' i'd tear their arm off.

I can't give you a five point plan, but I'd definitely recommend you head to the doctors and tell them everything.

Hopefully they can put you in touch with a practitioner or a therapist that will see you on a regular basis and help you out. I've got a mate who is a CBT practitioner and he speaks really highly of it. They're not all clueless squares by any means, he is an ex-wreckhead himself for example. He does really good work and I'm sure if you can find someone out there similar then they will be able to help you.

It might be tough starting at Christmas.

But then it's too much of a cliche to start at New Year

Just make sure you do take some action. The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be.

Punishing yourself for past misdemeanours is just not worth it. I do the same myself sometimes. It won't change what's happened, and it has a high chance of impeding any future progress.

Good luck!

Red Genius · « **Reply #9479 on:** December 5, 2013, 03:38:17 pm »

Thanks fella, i've been the docs before, and it's an arduous process. And takes forever, i've tried CBT before and it is a beneficial help.

My problem is i'm a high maintenance twat, and also quite spontaneous, i may have an appointment lets say next Wednesday, but rather than wait to talk about things - i'll get shit faced from here until then, miss the appointment because i'm wankered and don't want anyone to see me in the state i get in.

If i were one of the hollywood A listers, i'd want the stunt in rehab they fork out for, because i honestly think i need 24 hour supervision, while i get back on a balance.

It sounds shit, i sound like a child, but im behaving like one - no self control, no maturity in my decisions, so there'd be no surprise if i had to be treated like one.