Does therapy actually help the doctor has referred me as I'm signed off work but i am so anxious to talk to someone about my issues I just feel embarrassed? I really don't want to do it and would rather solve the issues on my own but feels like I'm being forced to so I can get signed off for longer.
Hi mate, I'm away at the moment so can't go into much detail, but yes, therapy can and often does help. To give a little background I have an anxiety disorder which, added to the depression it had led to, pretty much ruined my entire life until I was well into my 40s. I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I've not only had counselling / therapy, but I went on to train and then qualify as a counsellor/ therapist myself.
I make no bold claims for therapy other than to say I've seen it help countless people and it helped me too. To be honest, it's normal to feel somewhat anxious over opening up to a stranger, but they aren't there to judge you. Simply there to listen to you talk about what's going on for you, give you room to let out your feelings and maybe help you find your way forward.
It's worth adding that there are different types of therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is very commonly the model on offer these days, but no method of therapy has ever been proven more effective than the rest. Best outcomes usually come from the quality of the rapport you and your therapist have and the model of therapy you have also being a good fit for you personally. I'm not actually keen on CBT, but I've had it myself and took things from it I could use.
I think that's the best way to go into counselling / therapy. No expectations, just go with it and use anything that you find helpful. Stick with it and only judge it at the end. It's a process, so needs to be worked through.
I understand you maybe wanting to solve your issues on your own, but even in therapy you are basically doing just that anyway. Therapists don't provide the answers. We don't actually know the answers. We are just there to help people to find their own answers. One person's answer is not necessarily the same as another person's. We are all different.
It's up to you whether or not you have counselling. No one should ever feel under pressure to do so. All in will add is that each session is your own. It's up to you what you do with it and what you take from it. I do understand why you might feel a bit embarrassed. Again, that's quite a normal thing to feel. It's confidential though. You won't be judged. It's a safe space and you and your issues will be treated with respect.
If you're really set against having counselling, though, don't have it. No one should ever feel forced, because that's the exact opposite of the ethical code we work with. If you think that you might be open to it though, go along and simply see how it goes. I firmly believe we can take something of value from pretty much any experience. Even if you take a single useful nugget away with you at the end of it, then it's worthwhile.
It took me most of my life to realise that there is no big answer that solves everything. It's more a case of working through life and taking little bits from here and there that resonate with us and work for us personally. Collect the things that help, however small. And let go of what doesn't help.
If you go for it, I hope you find it helpful in some way. I never say that counselling 'works' but I'll always say that it can help. It's about helping you to find your own way.
All the best. If you decide to give it a try, please let us know how you get on. I wish you well.
Oh, and as Chakan said, we've pretty much heard it all. Human beings are complex and varied. We get to hear about people's deepest and darkest fears on a daily basis. Same with their anxieties, worry's, desires, needs etc... Although it can feel awkward or embarrassing saying some things, you probably won't be the first or last who has said it in therapy. As I said, we've heard pretty much everything numerous times before and we understand that it's just part of being human.
Anyway, look after yourself.
