Author Topic: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.  (Read 36487 times)

Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #120 on: October 10, 2012, 03:01:37 pm »
Oh No!!! That's harsh
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Offline Funky_Gibbons

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #121 on: October 10, 2012, 03:17:46 pm »
Oh No!!! That's harsh

Yeah that's what I thought!! I did actually start to laugh after she said it.

I should point out she is very, very cheeky and likes to say things to shock to create a reaction. 3-years old!! I'm dreading what she is going to be like as a teenager.
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Offline givemekaliber

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #122 on: October 11, 2012, 11:41:14 am »
Yeah that's what I thought!! I did actually start to laugh after she said it.

I should point out she is very, very cheeky and likes to say things to shock to create a reaction. 3-years old!! I'm dreading what she is going to be like as a teenager.

I really really laughed out loud at that!
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Offline AndyInVA

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #123 on: October 11, 2012, 04:52:39 pm »
my kid tells her mum to go away a lot and she wants to do (whatever activity) with Daddy

it really upsets her

kids can be so cutting some times

Offline AndyInVA

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #124 on: October 11, 2012, 04:53:28 pm »
my 3 year old girl has said

'Daddy has gas in his butt'   after some farting

Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #125 on: October 11, 2012, 05:17:28 pm »
I asked lil'CT a question before breakfast this past sunday: "how do you feel?"
lil'CT: "I feel skinny."
Me: " that is only because we have not had our tasty breakfast."
lil'CT: "nope, it is because my skeleton is covered with skin, see!?"
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
A dead animal is a dead animal. And a piece of meat is a piece of meat.

Offline AndyInVA

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #126 on: October 11, 2012, 05:18:49 pm »
I asked my kid if she wanted to go to the beach at the end of summer. She didnt and got really upset when I tried to tell her it was great. So i dropped it

a week later I asked her again

she said she was scared of the beach as she didnt want to get eaten by whales

they had been covering Jonah and the Whale at her church based day care and she was scared witless of getting eaten by a whale

Offline Malaysian Kopite

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #127 on: October 11, 2012, 06:54:02 pm »
I asked lil'CT a question before breakfast this past sunday: "how do you feel?"
lil'CT: "I feel skinny."
Me: " that is only because we have not had our tasty breakfast."
lil'CT: "nope, it is because my skeleton is covered with skin, see!?"
Kid's got a point  ;D
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Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #128 on: July 1, 2013, 06:33:57 pm »
Just finished the forth game of chess this morning with lil'CT, during the second game I asked lil'CT why he always liked playing with the black pieces, and his response, I quote:
lil'CT- "Well Dad, it is because they are sneaky."
Me- "Sneaky?.... Sneaky how?"
lil'CT- "Well, they are wearing black, and ninjas wear black and they are sneaky, so the black pieces are more 'ninjary' (his amazing new adjective for all things ninja like) then the white ones, and they are harder to see at night."

Ask a child a question and marvel at their response.
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
A dead animal is a dead animal. And a piece of meat is a piece of meat.

Offline Motty

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Re: Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #129 on: July 1, 2013, 06:51:30 pm »
Just finished the forth game of chess this morning with lil'CT, during the second game I asked lil'CT why he always liked playing with the black pieces, and his response, I quote:
lil'CT- "Well Dad, it is because they are sneaky."
Me- "Sneaky?.... Sneaky how?"
lil'CT- "Well, they are wearing black, and ninjas wear black and they are sneaky, so the black pieces are more 'ninjary' (his amazing new adjective for all things ninja like) then the white ones, and they are harder to see at night."

Ask a child a question and marvel at their response.
;D

Offline tommy LFC

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #130 on: July 2, 2013, 01:26:14 am »
I'm a teacher and last week was the closest I have ever come to laughing in a kid's face.....

I was teaching 4th class (8/9 year olds) but didn't know the class very well. After lunch one kid came up to me and said "Barry keeps saying I have no soul but mammy says I do."

(yes, he was ginger). Felt sorry for the lad but all I could think of was that youtube video,,,,
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Offline Nessy76

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #131 on: July 2, 2013, 01:40:31 am »
At the zoo last week and heard a young boy in a large crowd ask his dad "why's that rhino got five legs, Dad?"
There was too much laughing to hear what dad's mumbled reply was.
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Offline rob1966

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #132 on: July 2, 2013, 08:38:21 pm »
My youngest Ben (3 in Sept) wanted something last week, I got him it and he said, not that one stupid.

Tonight I'm sat eating my tea and Ben said he wanted a wee, so told him to go the toilet or use the potty - no I wanna go wee in the bushes. Told him no, as he's stood there with his pants round his ankles. Next thing, before I can stop him, his older brother Adam (5) opens the patio doors, leads Ben out and Ben just pisses in the bushes.
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Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #133 on: July 15, 2013, 11:53:45 pm »
Last night my wife's best mate stayed with us. After dinner while out for some ice cream, my son said, "Well, you look like you have a bigger baby in your tummy then my mom does."

She is not pregnant.  :o :-[
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
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Offline Corkboy

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #134 on: July 16, 2013, 12:39:00 am »
Oh dear.

I asked my kid when he was about three or four what he wanted to be when he grew up. He looked away for a second and then turned to me and said...."a lobster".

Offline capt k

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #135 on: July 16, 2013, 04:07:37 am »
4yr old Grandson,is playing in his room and decides he can hang on for a bit longer before he HAS to go the toilet.
after a minute or so, realizes he isnt going to make it the 6 steps to the bathroom and decides that  his GI Joe/Army helmet would make a great potty.
So he wees in the helmet then takes it to the bathroom and pours the contents into the toilet.  :8

Still better that than wetting himself , or tipping the contents on his 1 yr old sister.:)
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Offline Jimmy Conway

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #136 on: July 16, 2013, 02:50:17 pm »
Not from a kid, but a grown adult (American) in a restaurant in Mexico

"Do the ribs come on the bone?"

Offline Chakan

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #137 on: July 16, 2013, 02:54:43 pm »
Not from a kid, but a grown adult (American) in a restaurant in Mexico

"Do the ribs come on the bone?"

In America you do get off the bone ribs... its just the meat without the actual bone.

Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #138 on: July 16, 2013, 02:59:52 pm »
In America you do get off the bone ribs... its just the meat without the actual bone.

I have never heard of getting the rib meat off the bone... that is strange.
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Offline Chakan

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #139 on: July 16, 2013, 03:00:49 pm »
I have never heard of getting the rib meat off the bone... that is strange.

I think they put it in a sandwich...

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/aaron-mccargo-jr/fall-off-the-bone-short-ribs-recipe/index.html

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #140 on: July 16, 2013, 03:01:36 pm »
Oh dear.

I asked my kid when he was about three or four what he wanted to be when he grew up. He looked away for a second and then turned to me and said...."a lobster".

Mine wants to be a penguin.

He was at his grandparents the other day who were discussing someone and my father-in-law said the person in question was an idiot. My mother-in-law obviously thought he shouldn't be using that word in front of my son and told him off for it. My son then came out with "It's ok, Daddy calls me an idiot".

Oops.

Offline Nessy76

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #141 on: July 16, 2013, 05:03:11 pm »
In America you do get off the bone ribs... its just the meat without the actual bone.

In soviet union, you just get bone.
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Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #142 on: July 22, 2013, 11:58:58 pm »
While playing at the park down the street my son take a turn at one of the small steering wheels one finds so often at children playgrounds...
"what are we driving and what location are we going to?" -Me
"We are driving the Titanic in the Atlantic Ocean. And we are headed to Africa so we can build an save the Hindenburg.... Now lets go dad!"-Lil'CT
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
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Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #143 on: July 23, 2013, 05:30:23 pm »
While playing at the park down the street my son take a turn at one of the small steering wheels one finds so often at children playgrounds...
"what are we driving and what location are we going to?" -Me
"We are driving the Titanic in the Atlantic Ocean. And we are headed to Africa so we can build an save the Hindenburg.... Now lets go dad!"-Lil'CT
Hahahahaha!!! amazing!
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Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #144 on: July 23, 2013, 05:31:57 pm »
Mine wants to be a penguin.

He was at his grandparents the other day who were discussing someone and my father-in-law said the person in question was an idiot. My mother-in-law obviously thought he shouldn't be using that word in front of my son and told him off for it. My son then came out with "It's ok, Daddy calls me an idiot".

Oops.

:lmao
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Offline Motty

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Re: Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #145 on: July 23, 2013, 07:38:52 pm »
While playing at the park down the street my son take a turn at one of the small steering wheels one finds so often at children playgrounds...
"what are we driving and what location are we going to?" -Me
"We are driving the Titanic in the Atlantic Ocean. And we are headed to Africa so we can build an save the Hindenburg.... Now lets go dad!"-Lil'CT
Lil'CT sounds a right character :D

Offline L666KOP

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #146 on: July 23, 2013, 08:16:45 pm »
When my youngest Sam, now 12 was about 5 or 6 he had me and the missus laughing like drains.

We were going to Ikea for a nosey to pass a few hours, we were just getting in the car, and he asked where we were going.

"Ikea Sam"

"Don't want to go there dad"

"Why not mate ?"

Thoughtful pause.........

" Cos i was watching a program last night, and they eat dogs there......"

He'd been watching a program, that was exploring customs in Korea.
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Offline AndyInVA

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #147 on: July 23, 2013, 08:23:02 pm »
one of my kids friends has a Dad I have never ever seen. not even at his own kids 4 year old party. he apparently works 'out of town'

i joked with my kid ONE TIME, ' that Lillees dad is in jail'

My kid repeats this at day care to the kid with the absent Dad. The absent Dad kid repeats it to her parents

Absent dads kids had a party at their house on July 4. My wife and kid were invited. I was specifically NOT invited. Absent Dad was there. Apparently he does work out of town.

They really did not see the funny side at all.


Offline ChaChaMooMoo

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #148 on: July 23, 2013, 09:01:30 pm »
Kinda funny story that happened to me and my 5 year niece.

This summer, my niece was on vacation in my place for school hunting around here. I drove her around and used to time-pass at the signal by saying "3.......2.......1......go" for the time between the red signal and green signal. And then set off.

Just last week there was sports day in her school and she was participating. I was also there. As the anouncement system went "3.....2......1.....go", she just stood in a place and started looking around. Upon asking her after the race, she said she was searching for the coloured lights.  ;D ;D

Made us chuckle.

Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #149 on: July 24, 2013, 05:48:17 am »
Lil'CT sounds a right character :D

Oh he is, for a 4.5 year old kid he is very entertaining.
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
A dead animal is a dead animal. And a piece of meat is a piece of meat.

Offline damian

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #150 on: July 25, 2013, 06:35:42 pm »
My 8 year old daughter just asked "have you seen my pussy". Meaning her cuddly cat that is sitting on the window sill looking out. Made us chuckle.
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Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #151 on: July 25, 2013, 06:55:59 pm »
a few minutes ago, I was walking with my nephew up the road, and he saw a man with one leg walking in crutches towards us, as he gets closer my nephew really loud pointed at him saying: Look Auntie, a man with one leg.

I had to put a straight head and keep on walking... good thing the old chap just smiled and carried on.
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Offline spanishscouse

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #152 on: August 7, 2013, 01:59:42 pm »
I teach English in a Spanish school. This happened with a class of 7-8 year olds. There was a boy who was a really nasty piece of work, Not mean or naughty, just a disgusting little bastard. Ate all of his books and pencils, literally, and always had a smell about him. I had talked to his dad on an occasion but he refused to believe it (all parents think their kids are angels). He had a habit of drawing sick things, like a faeces based restaurant. Poo lasagne, poo pizza, piss wine etc. I always took these drawings off him. One typical day he was drawing something so, as always, I went up to him to take the drawing, the bastard started running so I chased him, much to the amusement of his classmates. I finally catch up to him and I observe the piece of paper, it had drawn on it two stick figures, male (short hair) and female (long hair). The male had what looked like a thong and and a bra on and the female boxer shorts. I asked the boy what this drawing was and his answer:
"It's mummy dressed as daddy and daddy dressed as mummy".
Two days later I showed the drawing to his father, along with his sons description. I will never forget the look on his face.

I still wonder if it was just the boys imagination or something he had seen.

Offline spanishscouse

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #153 on: August 7, 2013, 02:04:30 pm »
My girlfriends little cousin when asked what he wanted to be answered:
"A gardener, and if I can't get the necessary qualifications to be a gardener then I'll be a judge"

Offline Filler.

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #154 on: August 8, 2013, 05:59:02 pm »
My 3 and a 1/4 old was walking with his Nonna and Mum down a country path (Nonna = Grandmother in Italian), and a horse and horserider were coming up the other way. They all stopped and Nonna was gushing about the horse... 'Ooh look Sterling, what a lovely horse! Would you like to stroke him?'

And he looks at Nonna, and looks at the horse and after a pause, says 'Let's shoot it!'

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #155 on: August 8, 2013, 06:01:54 pm »
My 3 and a 1/4 old was walking with his Nonna and Mum down a country path (Nonna = Grandmother in Italian), and a horse and horserider were coming up the other way. They all stopped and Nonna was gushing about the horse... 'Ooh look Sterling, what a lovely horse! Would you like to stroke him?'

And he looks at Nonna, and looks at the horse and after a pause, says 'Let's shoot it!'

;D He obviously loves his Tesco burgers.

Offline Filler.

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #156 on: August 8, 2013, 07:30:34 pm »
;D He obviously loves his Tesco burgers.

He'd eat your penguin. ;D (lovely)

Mine just loves the bit in the Blue Planet where the baby whale gets eaten by the Killer Whales. He's almost shaking a rattle in excitement. We're a bit perturbed at that.

This morning he was playing with his favourite T-Rex (Schleich) and some cheap plastic dinosaur we picked up from a charity shop for 20p - loves it, and he's giving it the works on some scenario at 7am, something about eating, and he looks at me, with the widest face I've ever seen... eyes glowing with the biggest smile and says... 'and then they're going to eat their mothers!!' and cocks his head back guffawing in delight. He cracks me up sometimes.

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #157 on: August 9, 2013, 02:09:47 pm »
He'd eat your penguin. ;D (lovely)

Mine just loves the bit in the Blue Planet where the baby whale gets eaten by the Killer Whales. He's almost shaking a rattle in excitement. We're a bit perturbed at that.

This morning he was playing with his favourite T-Rex (Schleich) and some cheap plastic dinosaur we picked up from a charity shop for 20p - loves it, and he's giving it the works on some scenario at 7am, something about eating, and he looks at me, with the widest face I've ever seen... eyes glowing with the biggest smile and says... 'and then they're going to eat their mothers!!' and cocks his head back guffawing in delight. He cracks me up sometimes.

:D Baby Norman Bates sounds delightful.

Offline givemekaliber

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #158 on: August 9, 2013, 02:45:55 pm »
My two year old the other day pointed out to Eastenders that was on TV.
She pointed out Daddy as Patrick
I'm a fully fledged white male and half his age.

I'm officially worried
Tommy Smith is better looking than Sophia Loren

Suarez is an utter lunatic

Smoke bombs/grenades/pyros/giros are necessary

Offline Crimson_Tank

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Re: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say.
« Reply #159 on: August 31, 2013, 03:27:55 am »
Bed time questions for the lad for the missus and I to field as we tuck him into bed:

Lil'CT: "Ok, listen up dad, tonight I have two questions."

The missus and I: "Ok, what are your questions?"

Lil'CT: "Well, what is my skin made of and how does my brain work?"

Me: "Well... (I begin to go into a long drawn out explanation as to what his skin and all skin are made of, while planning to explore the options of how brains work...)

The missus interrupts: "I do not think that we have time for this tonight perhaps in the morning we can answer these questions."

Lil'CT: "Yeah dad, listen to mom and do not make my brain hurt before bed!"
I watched a YouTube video and decided that Paul Konchesky looked like a player.
A dead animal is a dead animal. And a piece of meat is a piece of meat.