Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[24/7]

As an alcoholic there’s no other way. It’s unfortunate but the truth.

it might be one alcoholic's way, but not every alcoholic's way.

[Maggie May]

It is a bitter pill to swallow when you consider that my beloved Grandling with everything to live for is dead, whereas I, his Nana who has nothing to live for save my beloved cat, is still alive.   Carl was a failed conversion to feline love, but he always understood cat-wise, and we bantered with a light and loving heart - "If you say so Nana".   My Grandling always understood my booze demons, and I hope that the best of the best which I was able to give to him in support of his were good enough.  He had the gift to me of quietly listening and never forcing advice, which I always returned.  We kept each others booze related confidences and never broke a single word of trust - which is a gift more precious than all the gold in the world.   Oh my dearest Grandling.  I will miss you so much.  Love from your broken hearted Nana.   

[Maggie May]

As an alcoholic there’s no other way. It’s unfortunate but the truth.

Not necessarily on either count.  And this is neither the time nor the place for such debate, so may I respectfully request you wind your neck in.

[CrasherKid79]

Not necessarily on either count.  And this is neither the time nor the place for such debate, so may I respectfully request you wind your neck in.

ok.

You have the answer? Wind my neck in? You purposely winding me up?

[Tesco tearaway]

ok.

You have the answer? Wind my neck in? You purposely winding me up?

Maggie is winding you up?
She's 'respectfully' asking you to wind your neck in in a sensitive time for a lot of us in here.
Thank god she didn't ask you in her usual manner.

[CrasherKid79]

Maggie is winding you up?
She's 'respectfully' asking you to wind your neck in in a sensitive time for a lot of us in here.
Thank god she didn't ask you in her usual manner.

I’m not in the click. People need advice today.

[Tesco tearaway]

I’m not in the click. People need advice today.

I'm not in the clique either mate... There isn't one when it comes to problems such as this.
But anyway, now's not the time to be bickering when emotions are so raw 

[24/7]

I’m not in the click. People need advice today.

The best way to proffer advice is when it is sought. I see nobody asking for advice today. It is nothing to do with cliques either. So please. Understand this place a little better before coming on strong. This is not advice. It's an instruction. This is definitely not the time to be contrary. And that goes for all sides. Thanks.

[CrasherKid79]

The best way to proffer advice is when it is sought. I see nobody asking for advice today. It is nothing to do with cliques either. So please. Understand this place a little better before coming on strong. This is not advice. It's an instruction. This is definitely not the time to be contrary. And that goes for all sides. Thanks.

I’m sorry, but unless you suffer this what i class as a disease. What?

You have no idea what your talking about

[24/7]

You don't own the monopoly on this issue. Neither do I. But I act in the best interests of this site and I do know first hand the effects of this disease so wind yer neck in now. I've just lost a friend and have very nearly lost my father.

[CrasherKid79]

You don't own the monopoly on this issue. Neither do I. But I act in the best interests of this site and I do know first hand the effects of this disease so wind yer neck in now. I've just lost a friend and have very nearly lost my father.

Oh dear we might get serious discussion

[24/7]

Oh dear we might get serious discussion

I've reviewed your post history and concluded that you are incapable of serious discussion. Not here anyway. I'd take a million Carls over you. Your presence in this thread sullies his name. Now fuck off.

[Barneylfc∗]

Oh dear we might get serious discussion

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm literallly sitting here shaking my head. 

[24/7]

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm literallly sitting here shaking my head. 

I know. Of all days. Well, he's permanently banned, so.......

[red mongoose]

It is a bitter pill to swallow when you consider that my beloved Grandling with everything to live for is dead, whereas I, his Nana who has nothing to live for save my beloved cat, is still alive.   Carl was a failed conversion to feline love, but he always understood cat-wise, and we bantered with a light and loving heart - "If you say so Nana".   My Grandling always understood my booze demons, and I hope that the best of the best which I was able to give to him in support of his were good enough.  He had the gift to me of quietly listening and never forcing advice, which I always returned.  We kept each others booze related confidences and never broke a single word of trust - which is a gift more precious than all the gold in the world.   Oh my dearest Grandling.  I will miss you so much.  Love from your broken hearted Nana.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Mags, and to everyone who knew Carl, especially his family.

[Hinesy]

Carl was family to us all. He was a pain in the ass, a witty funny lovely twat and had no more doubts and fears as any of us when we're being really honest.

He was no different to any of us and brilliantly unique.

I never met him, but an online acquaintance for over a decade. Billy put it best. "You felt like you knew him".

He was and always will be part of RAWK and just like the other members who have passed onto the great Boot Room in the sky, he will be remembered and missed.

If the best and only thing RAWK ever does is bring us together as humans, then it still has a vital purpose.

He was and is still family.

[Crosby Nick]

I've been in touch with Paul this morning. He told me to "pass on my best to Jim and the lads".

I guess Paul's a testament to that it is in fact possible to knock the drink on the head and move on. It takes a helluva lot of will power, very good friends and family but it certainly can be done!

Send him my best too if you speak to him again mate.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Send him my best too if you speak to him again mate.

I will, mate!

[24/7]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

[So… Howard Philips]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help and wit' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

Just to appreciate some of his more droll interventions?

[Motty]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

Great idea that Jim [emoji1303] and well in for banning that cheeky fucker.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

[A-Bomb]

I will, mate!

Glad to hear Paul is winning again, shout him a hello from me n all mate (Alex)

[GrandOldAuntieHelenVanriel]

It has taken a while to sink in, but it just hit home. Carl has been a great support to this thread, and likewise has received great support in here.

It's very easy for me to not connect that behind these usernames are actual people. I know they are, but sometimes it almost feels everyone is just anonymous. I never felt that way with Carl. I don't know why. Maybe it's because him (and a few others) are always here throughout the good and the bad. I can't say the same for myself. When I was sloppy drunk asking for help, Carl would be one of the first to respond. When I chimed in that I just received my eighteen month sobriety chip, he was one of the first to respond. When I fell off the wagon again and came in here distraught, take a guess.

And I wish I could say the same. That I had given the same amount of support he has given myself and others. The disease won, and nothing I can say or do will change that. My chance is lost, and Carl is gone. I know just as well as many in here that sometimes no amount of advice, words of encouragement, or support will change someone's reaction to this disease, but they simultaneously have little chance without it, whatever the source.

Carl, I'm sorry I wasn't here for you as often you were for me. I'm going to miss you. Thank you for everything, and I'll never forget you.
❤️

[JLStretton]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

My personal input is I think the thread title should be changed and the one you suggest sounds good to me.

[GrandOldAuntieHelenVanriel]

I’m having a day of blonde moments ( no offence to blondes) it’s a thing Carl used to say to me. I tried to post a response against the quote rather than add to it 🙄🔫
BRdispatch05 I wanted to say how your post grabbed at me. Thank you so much for sharing this.... ❤️

[damomad]

I just want to thank you Carl for sharing your experiences with us over the years. This thread alone has probably helped more people on RAWK than any other. It's no overstatement to say this thread changed my life for the better. I hope it can stay alive in your memory even without it's brutally honest and sincere author. Sometimes it has been the only place to turn to after a rough patch.

[jillcwhomever]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

I think its a lovely idea. He started this thread after all as much as to help others as himself, so what could be more appropriate.

[rob1966]

Agree with the others. I didn't know Carl, but I think this thread would make a fitting tribute to him.

[Ziltoid]

Absolutely spot on for me. Even thought the boozer might have the Sir Harvest Fields snug which was this thread as a Sticky or some such.

[Billy The Kid]

Carl's passing has come as quite a shock to some. To others here it might be less surprising but no less upsetting. I've been giving some thought as to his legacy.

When Shanklyboy left us unexpectedly and altogether too quickly, we renamed the Arl Arse thread after him.

It seems only fitting that we dedicate this thread to Carl, although I am aware too that some might find that either awkward or uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate.

So, before I do anything, I just wanted to sound youse out - do you think 'The Sir Harvest Field Thread on Alcohol Issues - 300 pages of help' is suitable? I'm open to suggestions. If Carl's legacy is going to consist of anything it must surely be connected somehow to the help and support he used to offer others who were suffering similarly.......

I'm 100% in support of this Jim. I was thinking along similar lines earlier today. The thread should definitely be renamed in his honour.

Just to chuck in my tuppence worth, I think it should be called "The Carl Vanriel Thread On Alcohol Issues"

I know his username was Sir Harvest Fields, but he was Carl to most of us

Whatever you decide is A-ok with me though

[Les Willis]

A sister of a friend of my mum's died in similar circumstances. The organs just shut down because she stopped drinking. It's a sobering thought. I've always been a heavy drinker myself, but am probably just on the right side of alcohol abuse. I certainly drink over the recommended weekly limits. I do wonder how easy it would be to be in the same position that Carl found himself in, my guess is that it's a fine line.

[Maggie May]

Excellent Jim.  It should be named exactly as you say.

[TepidT2O]

Carl’s cattery...

[AndyInVA]

With just reading in the main thread about the terribly sad news about Carl it hopefully will in some small way give people on here who have alcohol issues [like myself] a kick up the arse to try sort themselves out.  Regardless of that we have sadly lost another to young to this horrible disease.

Rest In Peace Carl.  YNWA.

Just reading this now.

Carl and I gave up the first time at the same time and he was a great sounding board for me on this very thread that he started.

I'm gutted.

He leaves a positive legacy in this thread.

[AndyInVA]

R.I.P Carl. You'll be sorely missed lad   

I never met Carl in person, but in a strange kind of way, I always felt like I "knew him", if that makes sense? It's hard to describe or put in words why I felt that. I guess when you openly confide in someone about an issue as serious as alcoholism then an underlying bond and respect naturally develops between the persons involved. Lord knows, Carl and I had our disagreements and failed to see eye to eye on many occasions. Sometimes it got heated and we told each other where to go. Carl was good at that. He had quite a knack for telling people to go fuck themselves in a round-about polite sort of way 

But it never got personal. As much as we squabbled, and as much as we clashed heads, I think both of us knew, that beneath it all, we just wanted what was best for each other. I remember on one occasion, having had quite a heated debate with him in this thread, he popped up in the main forum 2 minutes later, spotted a post of mine, quoted it, and replied with "  Well said you c*nt  " And that was it. A couple of PM's later all was cool. And that was Carl. He was a good hearted soul. I'm just sorry that my efforts to save him from his demons didn't materialize in the end 

There were times when I literally wanted to reach into my computer screen and grab him, such was my wish to help him, and to try avert what I always feared would be an imminent end for him. Then again, that being said, had I managed to grab him, I honestly don't know if I would have strangled him, or just hugged him and sobbed uncontrollably with him - such was my understanding of the turmoil he was going through. It's a bastard cunting disease this. It really is

So long Carl! You certainly wont be forgotten. Adios mate 

Well put Billy
(AndyinVA)

[AndyInVA]

I just want to thank you Carl for sharing your experiences with us over the years. This thread alone has probably helped more people on RAWK than any other. It's no overstatement to say this thread changed my life for the better. I hope it can stay alive in your memory even without it's brutally honest and sincere author. Sometimes it has been the only place to turn to after a rough patch.

Billy is usually the word smith but this really sums up how I feel exactly.

It is very true that certainly for me this has been the only place to turn. People we know but don't know. People without a real connection who can give quite brutal honestly but also an empathetic understanding.

I'll be forever grateful to Carl for starting this and for all the great contributors in here and for the MODS letting the conversation get out of control once in a while but not taking permanent actions against good people who are in a bad place.

[24/7]

Excellent Jim.  It should be named exactly as you say.

I went with Billy's suggestion and used Carl's real instead of RAWK name, given it's so well known anyway. I've rejected Tepid's "Carl's Cattery" suggestion - don't wanna annoy Carl like

[El Lobo]

Without wanting to sound insensitive (and hopefully most people on here who know me, know I'm not) but given what caused Carl's passing into the great Iron Maiden Social Club in the sky, isn't 'legacy' a slightly clunky turn of phrase?

Also, just on a technical point, the thread title is now very long. It's primary goal is to get people in here to talk about their alcohol issues and depending on how you're viewing the thread (what device / screen size / etc) - the alcohol issues part could easily get cut off completely. May I suggest something along the lines of "Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread"?

As much as we all miss Carl, I think it's vital that the importance of the intent of the thread is preserved.

Think that's a good idea

[JerseyKloppite]

Yep, think that's spot on Dan.

Nice idea all round mind