In terms of jobs, mate, I was in a similar situation. Have you tried doing cover letters with your CV? They really, really help.
We got a lot of training in my MA, because when you’re applying for media jobs, it’s like a little extra “look, I can write.” While you may not be after a creative role, I think that showing your passion really would help. If you’ve got one, or need a hand putting one together, I’d be more than happy to help. Just gimme a pm and I’ll give you my email.
Volunteering at a shelter for homeless people and people with mental illness/learning difficulties today. Feels good to give back. Definitely helps doing something nice/useful with my weekend.
Time to give some of my life story.
My degree is in creative writing, but at the moment I'm trying to establish myself as a commercial artist. I'm doing this whilst on ESA as I just know I cannot handle a mainstream job anymore. This basically involves me spending hours in coffee shops or at home working on "core" images of Liverpool landmarks; visits to the printers for copies that I can then complete individually for printing greeting cards, mugs etc. But I'm only at a very early stage in all of this. I'm hoping that, now that I've moved, I can get a dedicated art station to work at home on bigger and more ambitious projects.
I volunteer once or twice a week down at Red Brick Vintage. The people who run it are fantastic and very supportive of me and my work. They let me have a little plinth off to one side, rent free, and in return I help out every now and again - moving stuff, tidying or painting.
I love what I am doing, but it would be impossible to earn a living off of it as things stand. I keep telling myself I'm still making a useful contribution to society, and am not being a leech or a scrounger. But I fell mentally ill 10 years or more ago now and I doubt I'll ever be "better" in classic sense of the word.
I am just trying to keep busy, educate myself as best I can (my learning ability has pretty much fallen off a cliff). Most of the time I'm stable, but fragile; and I don't have a lot of emotional resilience anymore. I can be short tempered, paranoid and insecure.
I'm hoping to do more now in 2019; maybe adult learning courses (there's an ALC close by), get back to the gym, do rock climbing etc. Anything and everything that gets me out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, broadening my social circle and sharpening my social skills so that, perhaps, I can bond more easily with other guys (I don't feel comfortable around men at all since I was bullied at school, dealt with shit teachers, and had an overbearing older brother who pretty much emasculated me). I also hope it will boost my confidence with women (girls tried to protect me in school; I feel much safer around women but I'm tired of being everybody's best "gal pal").
But I need to go at my own pace and I just want the DWP to leave me the fuck alone. I'd love nothing more than to tell them to shove their ESA up their arse; I hate depending on it. But there's no way on Earth I can walk into the kind of job I'd need to run my life. I'd be dead in a week.
PS: I struggle to help other people with problems, mostly because I'm an empath and something of a lightning rod for the suffering of others. I have to keep my distance to protect myself, even with some people I count as close friends. I had one amazing friend who really worked with me and developing myself, and I did the same with her. It was a true sharing friendship, but then I screwed it up because I wanted more and couldn't accept her boundaries. I've been devastated ever since.
