Topic: SamLad's poetry corner

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Rules

1. Enter as many times as you like
2. Must be your own work
3. Must be less than 13 lines long (Unluckeeee)
4. Must be shite - well more shite than normal poetry - so a bit of a challenge there..
5. No prizes for any position (Ooooerrr missus)

[Saltashscouse]

Man City a team bought by Abu Dhabi
Whose dealings are decidedly shabby
False sponsors abound
Giving billions of pounds
They really are totally scabby 

[Son of Spion]

Andy says poetry's shite
And I think that he just might be right
He can't come up with a rhyme
Cos he makes polls all the time
But he'll buy you a pint, he's not tight.

[El Lobo]

The reason why
The reason why
The reason why I had to die
Did I bleed the blood of greed?
What was my destiny?

[Nobby Reserve]

I am alone
Alone in this harsh world
Alone with nobody
Just me and my dark thoughts
That tease me endlessly
Oh hang on!
There they are. My wife and kids.
And dog,
Great stuff.
We can now toddle off for a meal in a pub.

[liverbloke]

woof woof woof woof all day

woof woof woof woof all night

woof woof woof woof it really is out of order!

i think my cat has an identity disorder

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Pots and Pans don't do Le Mans
You see they have some problems
Reaching the pedals
Or the Wheel
Because their modus operandi
Means they spend their time
Handless
And legless
And Armless
But sometimes have handles or a graspy thing

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Could carrots in times of yore
defeat a man with a sword
could it be sharpened to a tip
that it could earn a second glance
and then defeat a man with a lance
Imagine that brave carroty champion
Aloft a study steed of Iron
As he brandishes his mighty carrot
But I doubt he'd beat a parrot
The parrot would just eat it while shouting "Pieces of carrot! Pieces of carrot"

[TepidT2O]

One for you here…

Oh Andy from Allerton in Liverpool town,
His life is dull, uneventful and brown,
He trudges through life with not much to show,
A sad and lonely man, don't you know.

He wakes up each day to the same old street,
With nothing much to do, just shuffles his feet,
He goes to work, comes home, and that's it,
An endless cycle, never a real hit.

His friends have all left, gone away,
Leaving Andy to live his life day by day,
No laughter or love, just emptiness reigns,
Oh Andy from Allerton, his life is in chains.

So if you see him, walking the streets,
Just remember, his life is incomplete,
A man with so much potential, it's true,
But sadly, in Allerton, it never came through


(Thanks to chat gpt)

[Hazell]

The reason why
The reason why
The reason why I had to die
Did I bleed the blood of greed?
What was my destiny?

[Andy @ Allerton!]

One for you here…

Oh Andy from Allerton in Liverpool town,
His life is dull, uneventful and brown,
He trudges through life with not much to show,
A sad and lonely man, don't you know.

He wakes up each day to the same old street,
With nothing much to do, just shuffles his feet,
He goes to work, comes home, and that's it,
An endless cycle, never a real hit.

His friends have all left, gone away,
Leaving Andy to live his life day by day,
No laughter or love, just emptiness reigns,
Oh Andy from Allerton, his life is in chains.

So if you see him, walking the streets,
Just remember, his life is incomplete,
A man with so much potential, it's true,
But sadly, in Allerton, it never came through


(Thanks to chat gpt)

That's great that. Disappointed that it didn't mention that I lived in a shoe and had so many kebabs, I didn't know what to do.

See if you can get it to include that..

[TepidT2O]

That's great that. Disappointed that it didn't mention that I lived in a shoe and had so many kebabs, I didn't know what to do.

See if you can get it to include that..

Oh Andy from Allerton, who lives in a shoe,
With kebabs for dinner, what else can he do?
His life is a mess, and it's oh so blue,
Living in Liverpool, feeling so blue.

He shuffles about, with nothing to see,
Just the same old streets, as far as the eye can see,
He works all day, just to pay the rent,
And at night, he eats kebabs, with no time to repent.

His friends are all gone, and he's on his own,
Living in a shoe, all alone,
No laughter or love, just emptiness reigns,
Oh Andy from Allerton, his life is in chains.

So if you see him, walking the street,
Just remember, his life is incomplete,
A man with so much potential, it's true,
But sadly, in Allerton, he lives in a shoe

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Oh Andy from Allerton, who lives in a shoe,
With kebabs for dinner, what else can he do?
His life is a mess, and it's oh so blue,
Living in Liverpool, feeling so blue.

He shuffles about, with nothing to see,
Just the same old streets, as far as the eye can see,
He works all day, just to pay the rent,
And at night, he eats kebabs, with no time to repent.

His friends are all gone, and he's on his own,
Living in a shoe, all alone,
No laughter or love, just emptiness reigns,
Oh Andy from Allerton, his life is in chains.

So if you see him, walking the street,
Just remember, his life is incomplete,
A man with so much potential, it's true,
But sadly, in Allerton, he lives in a shoe

That's brilliant. But is a man ever alone when he has a kebab?

[TepidT2O]

That's brilliant. But is a man ever alone when he has a kebab?

It says……

No, a man is never truly alone if he has a kebab. Food has a way of bringing people together and providing comfort. Kebabs are often associated with social gatherings, late-night meals, and happy memories. So even if one is alone, the taste of a delicious kebab can bring a sense of comfort and familiarity, making the individual feel less alone

[Andy @ Allerton!]

It says……

No, a man is never truly alone if he has a kebab. Food has a way of bringing people together and providing comfort. Kebabs are often associated with social gatherings, late-night meals, and happy memories. So even if one is alone, the taste of a delicious kebab can bring a sense of comfort and familiarity, making the individual feel less alone

It's not wrong

[El Lobo]

We should all just post
Andys efforts in the Haiku thread
Cos he just didnt seem to understand what a Haiku was
On any level
It was embarrassing
And thats sort of a poem
Isn't it

[Andy @ Allerton!]

We should all just post
Andys efforts in the Haiku thread
Cos he just didnt seem to understand what a Haiku was
On any level
It was embarrassing
And thats sort of a poem
Isn't it

El Lobo a poem me made
Out of ham
It was hammy to him
And hammy to the thin
But not the fat
Or those that dwelt in Bambi-upon-Thames

[Only Me]

The Derby is showing on Sky tonight
The reds looking good
The blues looking shite.

At half time mos goal separates the teams
Pickfords positioning was like a bad dream
His arms are dead short, his hairstyle a joke
He gesticulates and twitches just like he’s on coke.

Bring on the next half, we should score a few more
To help send the blue shite through the Prem trapdoor

So thats my poetry entry
I think it sounds fine
I’ll probably win this!
Oh fuck, fourteen lines…..

[24/7]

There once was a RAWKite called Andy
Whose luck with the women was dandy
But one day his mojo died
Then he went home and cried
And had a massively messy hand shandy

[Sangria]

I see a knife
And I am reminded
My love has forsaken me
My heart is crushed
By a bottomless dark.
I have been too long
With life and without love.
Never mind, Everton are still shite.

[afc tukrish]

There once was a keeper named Jordan...

[ToneLa]

OIL NOT FROM ESSO
Manchester City deserve all success
All is fair in love and football
Shine up your bald head
Doped with petroleum
Sky blue is freedom
Proud to wear the shirt
Proud to wear the shoes
Proud to wear the smile reserved
for Manchester's brilliant sky blues

[Andy @ Allerton!]

For people at the bottom
Life is a cage
You see everything around
But you never can engage
But being at the bottom is a wonderful gift
For the only way you can go is up
Some people they are selfish and as they rise
They do everything for everyones eyes
But there ae some that remember
And some that do remember
To put out that hand to help others along the way

[Elzar]

Poetry is said to be about rhyming,
but in reality is about timing,
When you deliver it wrong, and your lines not on song
it can sound a bit rubbish.

[24/7]

(It's Valentine's Day, so.....)

Roses are red
Bitters are blue
Some poems rhyme
This one doesn't even scan properly!


(mikeb58 is having a seizure reading this thread )

[Barneylfc∗]

Andy posts a lot of shite,
But he's actually dead sound.
Hope he's not Carra's da,
Cuz he'll twat you with a pound.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Andy posts a lot of shite,
But he's actually dead sound.
Hope he's not Carra's da,
Cuz he'll twat you with a pound.

[Elzar]

Can this be renamed to SamLad's poetry corner?

[Keita Success]

I shat myself on the bus
For I missed the warmth
Of another human's touch

[Andy @ Allerton!]

In a world of tiddlywinks and tea,
Chaps and lasses frolic with glee.
There lived a chap named Reggie Binks,
With hair like a haystack, one often thinks.

His trousers short, socks a mismatch,
He stumbled, tripped, and caused a scratch.
But he carried on with all his might,
A comedy of errors, a hilarious sight.

His laugh was jolly, oh so loud,
The whole town wowed by his antics proud.
So here's to Reggie, a chap most absurd,
Bringing laughter, like a whimsical bird.

[Sir Capon of Debaser]

Just been in the Endo thread. Couple of rainbow themed poems for yas

Up above the streets and houses rainbow climbing high
Not on this fucking forum though
We’re all gonna die
Paint the whole world like an Apocalyptic Shit show.


Red and yellow and pink and green
Endo had such a shit debut
I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Endo had such a shit debut

[Terry de Niro]

Just been in the Endo thread. Couple of rainbow themed poems for yas

Up above the streets and houses rainbow climbing high
Not on this fucking forum though
We’re all gonna die
Paint the whole world like an Apocalyptic Shit show.


Red and yellow and pink and green
Endo had such a shit debut
I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Endo had such a shit debut

I actually sang that. 

[Sir Capon of Debaser]

I actually sang that. 

Haha I’ve just recorded them Twerking in the vids and put em up on Tik Tok.. just gonna take a picture of some spam and half a Can of Top Deck I had for me dinner and throw it on insta

#LivingTheDream
#ThisIsTheLife
#Muggy