OK, just resolved the login issue, but through no help and no thanks to Payal. Turns out I had to circumvent the phone number thing by Googling "paypal login", clicking on the first link I saw, which took me to the phone verification page, then copying and pasting that link into a seperate tab and going there and it lets me into the log in settings. Mental. Paypal seriously need to sort their shit out, because this is unacceptable, and if anything, it's helping people get away with fraud.