Topic: Mingebags

[only6times]

Excessive scoffing of freebies.  

We've just come back from a mini hol.   On the plane the munchies are handed out - nothing special just a cheese and tomatoe wrap sort of thing.  Then the drinks.   I've got the window seat, Mr May next to me and a fella has the aisle seat, so he gets asked first and gets an orange juice.  Mr May and me ask for a beer (a half sized can of Heiniken).   This fella starts like he's been stung by a wasp.   "Beer!!!!  I didn't know you could get beer.   Can I have a beer then?"  (No please, natch).   Trolly Dolly points out he's got an orange juice.   "But I want a beer.   They've got beer."   So she gives him a beer.   He drinks both (gross).   Other Trolly Dolly's coming back with some wraps left over.  He stops her and takes two.   Drinks cart comes back.  He stops it.   "What else have you got.  Have you got any wine there".   Yes, they have, so he gets a glass of wine.   So he's just drunk orange, beer and wine in quick succession.  And is eating his third wrap.   He turns to Mr May, still chomping and announces "You've got to get it if its on offer haven't you?"   Mr May is too nauseated to respond.   Oh, and later he got two coffees as well.  Yak. 

that's pilot's for you.

[only6times]

Oh and I forgot to mention brekkie in the hotel.   Four people.  English.  Middle aged.   There before we got there.   There when we left.   Eating continually.  And by Christ could they eat.  They shovelled away tons of the stuff.   Not satisfied with that, they stole food.   Hard boiled eggs, which one of their number hid in her handbag. 

Now as you know I am excessively fond of cats.   And the hotel had resident cats which strolled around freely, the hotel being their home, and there are loads of cats in Istanbul.   So I always go equipped with cat munchies.  So I'm slipping this cat a few munchies, when this woman announces at the top of her voice.  "Euuuuuurgh.    She's feeding a cat.   Disgusting."  Enraged and incensed, I screech in response "Not as disgusting as hiding eggs in your handbag  you robbing twat."  Mr May found it necessary to replenish his coffee at this point. 

a voice like dripping velvet!

[Maggie May]

Mr May should have offered him services of a sexual nature, just to see how far the philosophy of "You've got to get it if its on offer haven't you?" goes.

Poor Mr May was too grossed out to offer anything.   But I'll keep your suggestion in mind for next time (and yes, there's bound to be one, given the number of mingebags about). 

[Maggie May]

a voice like dripping velvet!

Well, Mr May has it as a sound resembling tearing oilcloth, but as you will. 

[buzzing]

I once knew a balding American bloke in his mid-forties who worked as an English teacher in Tokyo.

Tokyo is a fairly expensive place to live but this fellow reckoned he lived on 500 yen max a day (about 2.50).

He didn't buy lunch, but ate everybody else's leftovers in the staffroom instead. Ate white rice only for dinner. Only drank water. He didn't have toilet paper in his apartment, and always used the school's toilets. If he did have to use his own toilet, he said he didn't flush each time because of water costs. Never drank, never went out. God knows what he did at the weekend.

His reason for being so tight? He wanted a record contract, but he figured he'd never get one because he was balding. So he used to save all his money and every 6 months or so take a week off, fly to Detroit and get the latest hair implant treatment. I saw this going on for four years. He never seemed any less balding.

He was a nice guy, too, just really focused on achieving his dream. I'd say he's probably still teaching away, flying back to the States every six months, and waiting for his big break.

lol. But to be fiar, he was a mingebag for a reason. Didn't earn enough, so being a mingebag is the way forward.

[Maggie May]

lol. But to be fiar, he was a mingebag for a reason. Didn't earn enough, so being a mingebag is the way forward.

True.   But he could have bought a syrup and lived like a human being.

[tomred]

True.   But he could have bought a syrup and lived like a human being.

Or a wig.

[only6times]

Or a wig.

a big fuckoff whoooooooooooooooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[only6times]

I once knew a balding American bloke in his mid-forties who worked as an English teacher in Tokyo.

Tokyo is a fairly expensive place to live but this fellow reckoned he lived on 500 yen max a day (about 2.50).

He didn't buy lunch, but ate everybody else's leftovers in the staffroom instead. Ate white rice only for dinner. Only drank water. He didn't have toilet paper in his apartment, and always used the school's toilets. If he did have to use his own toilet, he said he didn't flush each time because of water costs. Never drank, never went out. God knows what he did at the weekend.

His reason for being so tight? He wanted a record contract, but he figured he'd never get one because he was balding. So he used to save all his money and every 6 months or so take a week off, fly to Detroit and get the latest hair implant treatment. I saw this going on for four years. He never seemed any less balding.

He was a nice guy, too, just really focused on achieving his dream. I'd say he's probably still teaching away, flying back to the States every six months, and waiting for his big break.

michael bolton anyone?

[tomred]

I'm slow. Why?

[only6times]

[/quote]

True.   But he could have bought a syrup and lived like a human being.

syrup of fig=wig

[tomred]

syrup of fig=wig

Thanking you. Not being a cockney, I'll happily accept your whoossh!.

[PaulF]

wtf did you think Maggie meant by a syrup?

[tomred]

wtf did you think Maggie meant by a syrup?

Thought it was some kind of treatment to grow hair back. Been a long day.

[only6times]

Thanking you. Not being a cockney, I'll happily accept your whoossh!.

not being a cockney meself,your answer is good enough for me.

[Mavis Cruet]

Saw a guy in Tesco the other day, pushed past me to get to the butter section, took the lid off a pack of Anchor Spreadable (just the lid you understand) and walked back out of the shop!

I'd love to know what the hell he wanted with just the lid. Maybe a Blue Peter project or something?

[only6times]

Saw a guy in Tesco the other day, pushed past me to get to the butter section, took the lid off a pack of Anchor Spreadable (just the lid you understand) and walked back out of the shop!

I'd love to know what the hell he wanted with just the lid. Maybe a Blue Peter project or something?

"i can't believe it's that nutter"

[Maggie May]

I'd love to know what the hell he wanted with just the lid. Maybe a Blue Peter project or something?

Sodding Blue Peter.   I spent years searching for sticky back plastic.   Bastards.

[PaulF]

All you needed was

a) ordinary plastic
b) a bloke
c) The laddo thread

and hey presto, sticky back plastic.

[Maggie May]

All you needed was

a) ordinary plastic
b) a bloke
c) The laddo thread

and hey presto, sticky back plastic.

   You.  Are a baaaaaaad lad.   But I like you.   

[Col]

I've got a mate who used to write down every penny anyone owed him. 50p bus fare? Check. Pint? It'd have to be one that cost the same, or more. Will h get a round in? You'll be lucky.

But the creme de la creme from him was when he took some girl out on a date, decided he didn't like her, then told her he hadn't been paid so couldn't pay for the meal!

[Themask]

But the creme de la creme from him was when he took some girl out on a date, decided he didn't like her, then told her he hadn't been paid so couldn't pay for the meal!

Don't see the problem with that one?   

[Mavis Cruet]

"i can't believe it's that nutter"

- very clever

[only6times]

- very clever

ta very glad

[The Cappuccino Kid]

Lad who I know works part-time in Tescos and told us this.

My mate was going about his usual business pricing stuff when he saw this bloke out the corner of his eye drop about 5 cans of soup onto the floor so they'd get a dent in them. The fella then took the soup cans to the girl on the check-out and asked if he could have money off because the tins were dented. The girl then said he could have 10p off each one and of course, the tight-arse bit her hand off.

[only6times]

Lad who I know works part-time in Tescos and told us this.

My mate was going about his usual business pricing stuff when he saw this bloke out the corner of his eye drop about 5 cans of soup onto the floor so they'd get a dent in them. The fella then took the soup cans to the girl on the check-out and asked if he could have money off because the tins were dented. The girl then said he could have 10p off each one and of course, the tight-arse bit her hand off.

a finger buffet aswell!

[BazC]

This thread's great! Some nice stories in this one today...

[Maggie May]

Lad who I know works part-time in Tescos and told us this.

My mate was going about his usual business pricing stuff when he saw this bloke out the corner of his eye drop about 5 cans of soup onto the floor so they'd get a dent in them. The fella then took the soup cans to the girl on the check-out and asked if he could have money off because the tins were dented. The girl then said he could have 10p off each one and of course, the tight-arse bit her hand off.

Reminds me of my mother that one.

Reminds me of my Nan, Tom.   When I was a little girl I used to watch her dump her shopping bag on the egg trays in the Cowie and then say she'd take the cracked ones off their hands.   Oh come on...... she was my Nan, and we were poor.   

[only6times]

Reminds me of my Nan, Tom.   When I was a little girl I used to watch her dump her shopping bag on the egg trays in the Cowie and then say she'd take the cracked ones off their hands.   Oh come on...... she was my Nan, and we were poor.   

aye maggie,there was a lot of tight minge in the old days

[Maggie May]

aye maggie,there was a lot of tight minge in the old days

I'll allow at least one interpretation of that to waft over my head. 

It wasn't so much being mingy as in this thread, as being skint.   My Nan also used to cadge the bacon bones from the Cowie (they used to get great sides of bacon and do their own boning out, and then put the great sides of bacon on the bacon slicer).  She used to make soup with them and spuds and cabbage.   Delicious it was too.   Can't get bacon bones any more now.  Fucking EU Regulations or some other shite stopping you doing things for no good reason.

[RyanBabelsFish]

Lad at our work, 30, has a wash at work to save on his water meter at home. He washes his face here, has a shave a couple of times a week, brushes his teeth etc.
Also eats either soup (the tins of which he washes out and takes somewhere to get 2p back per tin) or reduced meat that he's had frozen for ages.
Fond of eating stuff well out of date if its free too. Had an old pie that no-one wanted, was two months out of date, he creamated it on the grill, ate it, and was promptly off work for the next week with food poisioning.
Also ate a pizza that was a couple of months out of date, no ill effects from this though unfortunately.
Will eat food he hates, if its free and will fill him up.

[only6times]

I'll allow at least one interpretation of that to waft over my head. 

It wasn't so much being mingy as in this thread, as being skint.   My Nan also used to cadge the bacon bones from the Cowie (they used to get great sides of bacon and do their own boning out, and then put the great sides of bacon on the bacon slicer).  She used to make soup with them and spuds and cabbage.   Delicious it was too.   Can't get bacon bones any more now.  Fucking EU Regulations or some other shite stopping you doing things for no good reason.

like me nan and mam,use anything in a pan due to finance.pea whack,neck end soup big pan of bacon ribs,lovely.    p.s couldn't help meself with that other thing

[bellinter]

one of my housemates (i've already mentioned the c*nt before) went over to Tesco last week to get stuff for the house.... He tells me the next day that it came to 33.90, so 11.30 each for the three of us...... Fair enough.

When I saw that night what he actually I bought, i was thinking... "wait, how the fuck did that come to 33.90?" But i decided to just let it go.

However, I was unable to do so. So i went to Tesco myself then (I live practically next door to one) just to see how right i was. The total cost of what he actually bought: 22.50

So basically the c*nt paid nothing himself.

I'm gonna let it go, make him think he has gotten away with it, then the next time we need the same stuff, I'll get it and charge him the same!

mingebag bastard!

[Scally McBeal]

one of my housemates (i've already mentioned the c*nt before) went over to Tesco last week to get stuff for the house.... He tells me the next day that it came to 33.90, so 11.30 each for the three of us...... Fair enough.

When I saw that night what he actually I bought, i was thinking... "wait, how the fuck did that come to 33.90?" But i decided to just let it go.

However, I was unable to do so. So i went to Tesco myself then (I live practically next door to one) just to see how right i was. The total cost of what he actually bought: 22.50

So basically the c*nt paid nothing himself.

I'm gonna let it go, make him think he has gotten away with it, then the next time we need the same stuff, I'll get it and charge him the same!

mingebag bastard!

I actually think that's slightly worse than being a mingebag. He's pretty much stealing from his friends there, really.

[bellinter]

I actually think that's slightly worse than being a mingebag. He's pretty much stealing from his friends there, really.

the sad thing is, he actually thinks we dont notice these things. But we all do, and the only person really being affected is himself, as all his mates realise how bad he is and pretty soon he'll have none left

[Maggie May]

like me nan and mam,use anything in a pan due to finance.pea whack,neck end soup big pan of bacon ribs,lovely.   

Yeah mate.   There's a helluva difference between having money and being a minge, and having fuck all and surviving.

p.s couldn't help meself with that other thing

I know.   Some things are too good to resist.       You are a baaaad boy.   But I like you.     (I seem to recollect I may have said this to you before).   

one of my housemates (i've already mentioned the c*nt before) went over to Tesco last week to get stuff for the house.... He tells me the next day that it came to 33.90, so 11.30 each for the three of us...... Fair enough.

When I saw that night what he actually I bought, i was thinking... "wait, how the fuck did that come to 33.90?" But i decided to just let it go.

However, I was unable to do so. So i went to Tesco myself then (I live practically next door to one) just to see how right i was. The total cost of what he actually bought: 22.50

So basically the c*nt paid nothing himself.

I'm gonna let it go, make him think he has gotten away with it, then the next time we need the same stuff, I'll get it and charge him the same!

mingebag bastard!

Oh that's outrageous Bell.    On two counts.  1.   He's a thief, robbing his housemates.  2.   He thinks you're all so trusting he'll get away with it.   That's beyond foul.   

[bellinter]

Oh that's outrageous Bell.    On two counts.  1.   He's a thief, robbing his housemates.  2.   He thinks you're all so trusting he'll get away with it.   That's beyond foul.  

If I start giving more examples, i wont get an ounce of work done today!! And the thread will reach 100 pages before evening

[PaulF]

one of my housemates (i've already mentioned the c*nt before) went over to Tesco last week to get stuff for the house.... He tells me the next day that it came to 33.90, so 11.30 each for the three of us...... Fair enough.

When I saw that night what he actually I bought, i was thinking... "wait, how the fuck did that come to 33.90?" But i decided to just let it go.

However, I was unable to do so. So i went to Tesco myself then (I live practically next door to one) just to see how right i was. The total cost of what he actually bought: 22.50

So basically the c*nt paid nothing himself.

I'm gonna let it go, make him think he has gotten away with it, then the next time we need the same stuff, I'll get it and charge him the same!

mingebag bastard!

Ah, but are you the mingebag for know excatly whate everything costs?
Come to think of it, it takes a special kind of person to go round and check. Surely asking for the receipt would be easier 

[only6times]

I know.   Some things are too good to resist.       You are a baaaad boy.   But I like you.     (I seem to recollect I may have said this to you before).  

 

not me,but call me it any time you want!

[bellinter]

Ah, but are you the mingebag for know excatly whate everything costs?
Come to think of it, it takes a special kind of person to go round and check. Surely asking for the receipt would be easier 

you dont know the bloke. Asking him for the receipt wouldn't help. he wouldnt have it/give it to me. If I confronted him about it, he would have thrown a tantrum and been a nightmare to live with for about three weeks.

The reason I checked the prices was simply to see just how much i was being ripped off by!