See, I have anxiety. I know that for sure, I fear fear, it feels so real and horrible. But I'm not buying into me having depression because it just doesn't add up with other people's experiences. Sure, I'm fucking fed up with feeling anxious, but...why would I fear depression? Why would I fear, actually fear, going mental and topping myself or killing someone because of depression. People with depression don't 'fear' that do they?
There are so many forms of anxiety, and the same with depression, and so so many reasons why they happen. It's very difficult to pigeon hole any of it, and hence why mental health hasn't been considered seriously since time begun. It's only of late that it is started to be treated seriously, and then there's a gulf of capability set up to deal with it through the NHS, although they are miles better now.
I've suffered from anxiety/panic since about the age of 25. No reason that I can tell of, it just came. And I don't mean social anxiety, or work, or most of your typical anxieties. It's a little bit hypochondriac, although I don't really panic about general health, I just get pains in my chest and I think for a fleeting moment, I'm dying, or sometimes it can last for minutes, or even hours. Quite often I have to go outside, get some air, or away from people, or go for a lie down. I actually think it's digestional related, as I quite often get bouts after being a fat bastard and filling my boots. Still, it feels very real to me.
Social anxiety can often come with depression and vice versa. But sometimes not, and some of the soundest, roundest, nicest folk you would ever meet suffer from it. It can be triggered by all manner of things, or it can just happen. Depression isn't just sadness, it's a deep pit that you can't scramble from, and it gets in the way of what would be considered 'normal' life. If you can't cope with day to day, then depression has got a grip of you, and it's quite bad. You don't particularly fear anything like anxiety gets you, but you can be quite unable to feel any happiness or joy in life, even with happy things.
Most people will suffer from depression in their lives at some point. I've recently lost someone 6 weeks ago and have suffered from it, but have slowly come away from it. This is natural. Clinical depression doesn't disappear, and it's extraordinarily difficult to continue with a normal life. My wife is currently suffering from this, and needs to be assisted with councilling and medication so you she can function normally. However, she has suffered with depression on and off for most of her life from being a teenager, and has need 'some' assistance over the years, without big things to trigger it, just happening naturally.
It's a fucker, but the biggest and best thing you can do with both anxiety and depression, is to admit you need help and then try to tackle it head on. We get one life, and one life only, and it's too precious to be used (not wasted) on suffering.
