Topic: Wasps

[Dench57]

Don't really mind these useless c*nts I'm just super wary of one being inside opened cans, always give a quick check before I sip from one. Friend of mine learnt the hard way, nice big sting on the roof of the mouth.

[Ziltoid]

Glad there is some hatred for the nasty, stripey, stinging c*nts

[Upinsmoke]

Hate em, I'm not one of those who stays calm as fuck all blasé like it ain't gonna sting me. I run a fucking mile

[Oddball]

I've never tried this on wasps but one tactic I like to use against bluebottles is to hit them with some hairspray first.  Gums them up something wicked so it makes it easier to hit them with a nice long blast of Raid.  No coming back for them after that.

MMm i might try that as I proper shit myself when mine came break dancing towards me!

[dalarr]

MMm i might try that as I proper shit myself when mine came break dancing towards me!

haha that break dance story of yours on the last page made me laugh. Good stuff.
Been quiet around here for some time now. Either my public execution a couple of days back worked as a deterrent, or his pals are gearing up for a large scale attack. I'm ready to defend my family and myself

[Oddball]

haha that break dance story of yours on the last page made me laugh. Good stuff.
Been quiet around here for some time now. Either my public execution a couple of days back worked as a deterrent, or his pals are gearing up for a large scale attack. I'm ready to defend my family and myself

Could be a large scale attack. Read somewhere (knowing my luck it'll be this thread) that their dead bodies send off/out a pheromone that attracts others. 

[Tesco tearaway]

One of these little fuckers stung my daughter under the chin yesterday 
I wouldn't mind but she was underwater at the time!
Must have been on the surface and shes dragged it down as she ducked her head 
Ended up having to abandon the pool as there were about six of them buzzing about 

[LiverLuke]

one of these pricks stung on me on the side of the forehead a few years back when i was at a cricket match, it throbbed and gave me a massive headache for the whole day. bastards

[Ziltoid]

Huge cunting fucking twat flying round the office just now.  Chemical warfare of Windowlene did the job.

[Peabee]

Huge cunting fucking twat flying round the office just now.  Chemical warfare of Windowlene did the job.

Keep an eye out for any cruise missiles heading your way.

[So… Howard Philips]

Horrible bastards. The high pitched buzz and tiger stripe camouflage does my head in.

And that's before considering any stinging.

[Phatz]

Slightly off track but I'd rather a wasp than one of these...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWZMfPP34g8

And then there's what happened later...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngTcyNtDjE8

[Phatz]

That pain index looks a bit strange though.

1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.

1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.

1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.

2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.

2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.

2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.

3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingro
wn toenail.

3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.

4.0 tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.

4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.[


Would like to know who the poor fucker who had to test out what all these stings felt like if they are really anything like what he compares them to.....

This guy, Coyote Peterson, does a pretty good shift at hurting himself. The giant centipede one is boss.

https://www.youtube.com/user/BreakingTrail

[Grobbelrevell]

Somehow my wife got stung in the middle of December whilst we were putting up the Christmas tree, whilst sitting on the floor of our dining room. If ever there was a time and a place where you don't expect it, it's then.

Basically, we ended up with a queen trying to seek refuge in the gap between our oven extractor fan and the wall, and it had somehow ended up sat on the floor as my wife sat down (on top of it) to sort out decorations. The way she jumped up I assumed that she'd broken something and sat on a shard of whatever the 'something' happened to be. The 'something', was this horrible thing, which stuck her in the leg. Big fucker as well, and left a right welt.

For the following week or so I spent the bulk of my time attempting to lure it out of the extractor crevice and running at it wildly with a slipper and squash racket in hand. It was in no way graceful, but in the end it was effective and we reclaimed our home from the tiger striped squatter.

Not looking forward to her buddies turning up in the coming weeks.

[Danny Boys Dad]

Time to go for a look up in the loft to see if any wasps are taking up residence.

[El Lobo]

This guy, Coyote Peterson, does a pretty good shift at hurting himself. The giant centipede one is boss.

https://www.youtube.com/user/BreakingTrail

That Tarantula Hawk is like a thing created from nightmares. A fucking giant wasp that eats tarantulas and is big enough to be referred to as a hawk. No thanks. Some kind soul should wipe them out.

[Ziltoid]

Christ almighty, fucking fight in the office today between a bumble bee that looked like a small bird and sounded like my wife's vibrator and another cunting wasp. The bumble was struggling to twat this thing so once they retired to their corner for the 3rd round the wasp got the chemicals and the bumble bee got freedom.

[So… Howard Philips]

Time to go for a look up in the loft to see if any wasps are taking up residence.

Just think Alien when you are blundering around in the dark. That old coat hanging up in the corner may not be a coat but a huge, well developed wasps nest.

They truly are evil.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Hate the fucking c*nts with a vengeance!

[Danny Boys Dad]

Just think Alien when you are blundering around in the dark. That old coat hanging up in the corner may not be a coat but a huge, well developed wasps nest.

They truly are evil.

Have found a few nests up there before but no really big ones. I take bin bags to cover the nest so they can't get me.

They nest in the walls as well, whole house is like one big wasp nest. The previous owner used to have lots of fruit trees which attracted aphids etc which attracted the wasps. Even though I've got rid of the fruit trees the house is still wasp central.

[RedSince86]

Hate the fucking c*nts with a vengeance!

This 1000%.

My other half laughs at my fear and hatred of the things when i hear one whizz by or if one is in the house.

I think my fear of Bees and Wasps is because i've never been stung before so it's manifested into a fear because of the unknown of what being stung is like.

[liversaint]

Got 3 stings on my back off one of the bastards in Sefton Park last september.

Paled into insignificance with getting stung on roof of mouth and cheek via a bottle of beer at a BBQ a few years back. Zero tolerance policy for the fuckers now.

[Ziltoid]

This 1000%.

My other half laughs at my fear and hatred of the things when i hear one whizz by or if one is in the house.

I think my fear of Bees and Wasps is because i've never been stung before so it's manifested into a fear because of the unknown of what being stung is like.

My hatred and fear comes from standing in a wasp nest when i was 8 years old and i watched them swarm around me.  Luckily i was a quick lad and only got stung once, but that nightmare of them all buzzing around me will never leave.

[Red_Mist]

Just had the first chance of this warm weather to make a cuppa and go and sit outside for ten minutes and there’s fuckin bees buzzing around everywhere, fighting each other and dive bombing my head. Must be a nest 

[Danny Boys Dad]

Just had the first chance of this warm weather to make a cuppa and go and sit outside for ten minutes and there’s fuckin bees buzzing around everywhere, fighting each other and dive bombing my head. Must be a nest 

Have had bees in the back garden a few times, the ones that burrow into the ground. They didn't bother anyone, was quite relaxing sitting in the garden watching them go backwards and forwards.

Funny how some of them can go straight to the burrow/nest thing with no messing and others land in the grass nearby and have to walk round looking for it.

[Red_Mist]

These were going nuts. Relaxing it wasn’t!

[Danny Boys Dad]

These were going nuts. Relaxing it wasn’t!

I think the ones we get are a type of bumblebee so they are pretty chilled out

[Red_Mist]

I think the ones we get are a type of bumblebee so they are pretty chilled out

Oh yeah I like bumblebees. I ushered a massive one out of the house the other day, so loud, sounded like a strimmer!

[Ziltoid]

These were going nuts. Relaxing it wasn’t!

do you have anyone who keeps bees nearby.  My neighbour when i was a kid kept 2 hives.  the bees used to swarm and we just stayed in doors until they'd found a spot and then the neighbour did his thing.  He once went on holiday when they swarmed and a 3rd party came in - fuck me it was like kamikaze pilots - they went mental attacking anyone and everyone.

[gamble]

Rudely awoken by one of these bastards first thing in the morning. Very aggressive too - the arsehole.

So in the manner of Chris Rock - I love bees, but I hate wasps.

[Red_Mist]

Very aggressive too - the arsehole.

ouch!

[Red_Mist]

do you have anyone who keeps bees nearby.  My neighbour when i was a kid kept 2 hives.  the bees used to swarm and we just stayed in doors until they'd found a spot and then the neighbour did his thing.  He once went on holiday when they swarmed and a 3rd party came in - fuck me it was like kamikaze pilots - they went mental attacking anyone and everyone.

Not that I know of. If I find someone’s decided to take it up I’ll be after some free honey as danger money

[Nobby Reserve]

Annoying little fuckers, chips on their shoulder, usually looking to annoy their bigger neighbours, get lairy after a bit of alcohol. Wasps should wear little replica blue kits with Sport Peas on it.

[dalarr]

Been relatively quiet around here until this week where I had to make my first two kills. Both were inside. I lurked in the shadows ninja-style until they got comfortable and took a breather on the window. Smashed them with an old book. Sneaky, brutal and satisfying.

[vagabond]

Probably the most successful species to have ever existed:

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/04/parasitic-wasps-dominate-the-animal-kingdom/557348/

[rob1966]

This guy, Coyote Peterson, does a pretty good shift at hurting himself. The giant centipede one is boss.

https://www.youtube.com/user/BreakingTrail

What the fuck is going on in his head???

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Been relatively quiet around here until this week where I had to make my first two kills. Both were inside. I lurked in the shadows ninja-style until they got comfortable and took a breather on the window. Smashed them with an old book. Sneaky, brutal and satisfying.

I have this racket like gadget that runs on batteries. The strings become electric when you push a button and then you can electrocute the fuckers. It works perfectly on wasps and flies...

[reddebs]

I have this racket like gadget that runs on batteries. The strings become electric when you push a button and then you can electrocute the fuckers. It works perfectly on wasps and flies... [emoji106]

We have one of them too mate.  Very satisfying [emoji16]

[So… Howard Philips]

I have this racket like gadget that runs on batteries. The strings become electric when you push a button and then you can electrocute the fuckers. It works perfectly on wasps and flies...

I like the sound of that.

[Ziltoid]

We have one of them too mate.  Very satisfying [emoji16]

Not when the missus smashes my willie with its a little painful.