There's been considerable panic in sport clothing shops in the English County Surrey. In recent years Surrey's inhabitants have only had to change their football allegiances on a yearly basis, usually switching between the correlating fortunes of Manchester United and Arsenal. Since Christmas however, there has been a shift from last year's successes of Arsenal to Chelsea and the colour in the public houses and bistros has moved to blue. In the light of last night’s Champions League Semi-Final, where Liverpool knocked out Chelsea, sports shops have reported hundreds of angry and puzzled supporters queuing for refunds on their Chelsea shirts, trades for Liverpool shirts and general advice on who exactly they should be supporting.
"They've been going crazy." Said John Green, owner of Reigate Sports, "It's been easy until last night. You pick the best team from the following year, or for the real footie fans see who looks like winning at Christmas and buy that shirt. Now though, nobody knows where they stand it's just not fair."
Peter Hughes (Bandwagon Shirts, Guilford) stated "I never seen panic on this scale since Newcastle threw away the league."
Police state that the crowds are contained at the moment and although understandably confused they are appeasing them by playing chants of "Ingerland" over a PA system. Chief Inspector Charles Wood-Player insists there is no need for alarm, "It will soon pass and may even give us cause for excitement with Surrey uniting behind two teams. We are assured however, that David Beckham is due to change his haircut soon, this will give the lads a diversion and will keep the hairdressers in business again."