Don't you come it with me you snivelling little shit. Oh, and yes, we do "find ourselves in a different situation to my last e-mail" don't we? You're not the only one with a camera (though I have to say you played an EXTREMELY SMALL part in Chinas entertainment).
And, furthermore, I was occupied with technical reading all day last Friday, and I had absolutely no idea of what Amanda did then (tho her dad, The Hon. Judge Tarqin de Montfort-Agincourt d'Urville-Smythe has since brought me up to date - and since you might ask, yes, he does have the best seat in the county - as he demonstrated yet again over the weekend).
And don't you flaunt your connections with me, sonny boy. Mr Hardman is a firm, long standing (in more ways that you can imagine), very close associate of mine (the quaint manner in which he supports his pint glass whilst lighting his cigar springs vividly to mind).
And I haven't copied this to your friend Stew. I have no idea where he may be (even if I was so inclined - and I have been quite extensively inclined, one way or another, over this weekend - although it has to be said, not in this particular context) nor, as Mr Hardman advises me, do I have a pickaxe.
I await your reply and, given the close interest and unforgiving nature of Mr Hardman, that of Roddy.
And furthermore, you little tosser, from now on its "Ms May" to you and not "Maggie".
Ms M May
Human Resources Executive