A quick reminder of recent events ...
A quick look ahead to what is to
To the match we go (we go the match) ...
And here are some numbers for people who like that sort of thing ...ALL-TIME HEAD-TO-HEADRECORDS
Highest Aggregate: 8 Stoke City 0 - 8 Liverpool 2000/2001
Highest Liverpool score: 7 Liverpool 7 - 0 Stoke City 1901/1902
Highest Stoke City score: 6 Stoke City 6 - 1 Liverpool 2014/2015STOKE LAST FIVE RESULTS
Stoke City 2 – 2 Leicester City
Stoke City 0 – 0 Southampton
Arsenal 3 – 1 Stoke City
Stoke 2 – 0 Burnley
Watford 0 – 1 Stoke CityOUT
Afellay, Bardsley, Butland, Cameron, Ireland, Mato Sanmartín, Wollscheid, Arnautovic (banned) MANAGER
Now I'm going to step out of the way and let you yard dogs have at it.
Merry Christmas, everyone
You'll Never Walk Alone* DISCLAIMER *
As a few of you know, I am a wool - a bad one. I wasn't going to admit the following, because it is just too fucking stupid, but then I thought: "You know, I have lived my life in a state of permanent self-deprecation. Why should this be any different?"
And we could all use a laugh on Christmas. So here goes.
You know what a brain fart is? It's when your brain shits itself. They should probably call it a "brain shitting" or something, but they don't.
Anyfuck, a few months ago I told Titi "Yeah, I'll take the Stoke one, no worries." See I had this grand idea - and this is when my brain
pinched one off. I was convinced - despite the Bachelor's Degree in English Literature adorning my sordid past - that Shakespeare was from
"Stoke-Upon-Avon" ... I know. But sometimes the brain just has to take a shit, and there's nowhere for the shit to go, so it just sits there.
I spent days scheming about writing this epic, hilarious preview in iambic pentameter, full of Shakespeare awaking from a long sleep
in present-day Stoke-Upon-Avon, horrified at all the six-fingered mungbeasts crowding around the Sky reporter on transfer deadline day,
and Jim White giving it a White Christmas with his "Having a stroke upon the Avon" ...
I just recently - and by "recently" I mean within the last 24 hours - realized my error. So I had to change it, obviously, because what
I was thinking made no fucking sense. So I reached down for a new idea ... and there was just nothing there. Nothing but a smelly, rotten,
Evertonian pile of months-old brain shit.
So I apologize that this preview is so shit, but I hope you can get a chuckle out of my stupidity