Author Topic: The Laugh at Manchester United Thread or the 'Ban Thread' for idiots....?. (Read 1247727 times)

TomDcs · « **Reply #11720 on:** March 29, 2017, 07:43:27 pm »

Paul scholes comments about United finishing fourth AND winning the Europa. Doubt it mate.

jillcwhomever · « **Reply #11721 on:** March 29, 2017, 07:44:38 pm »

Quote from: TomDcs on March 29, 2017, 07:43:27 pm

Paul scholes comments about United finishing fourth AND winning the Europa. Doubt it mate.

You've got to admire his optimisim though.

CrasherKid79 · « **Reply #11722 on:** March 29, 2017, 08:17:59 pm »

Quote from: jillc on March 29, 2017, 07:44:38 pm

You've got to admire his optimisim though.

Optimism? Scholes? .... always looks like he's about to burst into tears when he's wheeled out into the BT studio

Grumpy little hobbit

jillcwhomever · « **Reply #11723 on:** March 29, 2017, 08:25:36 pm »

Quote from: CrasherKid79 on March 29, 2017, 08:17:59 pm

Optimism? Scholes? .... always looks like he's about to burst into tears when he's wheeled out into the BT studio

Grumpy little hobbit

He looks in that picture as if he's about to burst into a tantrum.

mattD · « **Reply #11724 on:** March 29, 2017, 08:37:12 pm »

Quote from: rob1966 on March 28, 2017, 08:48:00 pm

Don't put your arm around a waitress and call her love if you want to keep your job

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/manchester-united-comedian-absolute-joke-10116750

Bloody hell, the standard of perversion at Old Trafford has declined from the lofty highs of Martin Edwards toilet adventures.

SwordInYourGut · « **Reply #11725 on:** March 29, 2017, 09:00:15 pm »

http://www.goal.com/en/news/8/main/2017/03/29/34131642/mourinhos-nonsense-west-brom-excuse?ICID=HP_BN_1

Quote

The Manchester United boss has made a bizarre and incorrect claim ahead of his side's Premier League clash with the Baggies

Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is very skilled at making excuses. He's also very skilled at winning football matches and motivating players, but it is in pre- and post-match interviews where he really excels.

The Portuguese always fills newspaper inches with complaints about pitches, referees, opposition players, tactics, and anything else you can think of. Often his claims are merited, his criticisms justified, but his latest excuse does not hold up to scrutiny.

Ahead of United's Premier League clash with West Brom, the Red Devils boss has complained to Sky Sports about the international break, and how it favours the small teams.

Chris Smalling and Phil Jones will both miss the game due to injuries suffered while away on England duty, provoking Mourinho to rant about the pointlessness of international friendlies.

However, in his argument, he feels that West Brom have a distinct advantage over United, because his side had 13 players go away to play for their countries.

"If you compare our situation with our opponents - West Bromwich Albion only had one player on international duty," Mourinho claimed to Sky Sports.

"They had time to work, time to rest and prepare. It is going to be hard."

In fact, West Brom had far more than one player on international duty - with 10 of their players featuring for their countries, just slightly less than United's 13 internationals.

While United had Marcos Rojo and Antonio Valencia playing in South American World Cup qualifiers, the Baggies had Salomon Rondon in action for Venezuela.

Closer to home, Jake Livermore made his England debut, James McClean lined out for the Republic of Ireland and Jonny Evans, Gareth McAuley and Chris Brunt all started for Northern Ireland.

Hal-Robson Kanu played against McClean for Wales in a 0-0 draw, James Morrison and Darren Fletcher helped Scotland defeat Slovenia, and Nacer Chadli was alongside United's Marouane Fellaini in midfield for Belgium.

Somehow when Mourinho was monitoring his players on international duty, he failed to notice that some of their team-mates and opponents were West Brom players in disguise.

Lycan · « **Reply #11726 on:** March 29, 2017, 09:33:29 pm »

The manager of the most expensively assembled side in the history of football, with a huge pool of talent to choose from compared to other sides in the premier league. Complaining about the opposition having more time to prepare for the game and getting that completely and utterly wrong. Poor Man Utd eh, so hard done by.

The blokes an utter embarrassment. Perfect for those gang of beauts really.

reddebs · « **Reply #11727 on:** March 29, 2017, 10:08:27 pm »

Quote from: Lycan on March 29, 2017, 09:33:29 pm

The manager of the most expensively assembled side in the history of football, with a huge pool of talent to choose from compared to other sides in the premier league. Complaining about the opposition having more time to prepare for the game and getting that completely and utterly wrong. Poor Man Utd eh, so hard done by.

The blokes an utter embarrassment. Perfect for those gang of beauts really.

He's clearly never noticed how many of his top players at previous clubs have been internationals, nor realised how many games they've played due to being in 4 competitions towards the end of a season.

Fucking moany, whingy, woe is me tit head wouldn't even mention it if he was about to win the title. I hope the next couple of months unravels spectacularly for them and him.

Iska · « **Reply #11728 on:** March 29, 2017, 10:54:14 pm »

Quote from: rob1966 on March 28, 2017, 08:48:00 pm

Don't put your arm around a waitress and call her love if you want to keep your job

How admirable. I wonder what they'd do if they had a manager who abused a club doctor publicly, and then undermined and humiliated her for doing her job.

GreatEx · « **Reply #11729 on:** March 30, 2017, 03:28:28 am »

Quote from: Lycan on March 29, 2017, 09:33:29 pm

The manager of the most expensively assembled side in the history of football, with a huge pool of talent to choose from compared to other sides in the premier league. Complaining about the opposition having more time to prepare for the game and getting that completely and utterly wrong.

He's definitely entered the Trumpite Zone, not even bothering to mix a dash of fact into the conspiracy brew any more.

Doc Red · « **Reply #11730 on:** March 30, 2017, 04:17:26 am »

Poor fella. Already requiring an Herculean effort just to lead the most expensively assembled football squad in history into the top 6, he's also having to face the burden of managing a team filled with Internationals. His work would have been so much easier if non of his players were good enough to play for their respective national teams. Having an extra week or so of rest and training more than compensates for the lack of quality in squads of teams at the lower end of the standings.
It's merely coincidence that teams packed filled with Internationals tend to gravitate towards the higher end of the standings. If Mourinho gets United into 5th or 6th place in the league than he truly would be The Most Specialest Special One Ever.

Ziltoid · « **Reply #11731 on:** March 30, 2017, 09:42:32 am »

pyroparty · « **Reply #11732 on:** March 30, 2017, 09:59:29 am »

Making up blatant lies because he fears dropping points at home to West Brom. Hilarious. But I suppose he's just a genius "taking the pressure off his players" zzzz.

Phil M · « **Reply #11733 on:** March 30, 2017, 10:00:27 am »

Quote from: Ziltoid on March 30, 2017, 09:42:32 am

ROOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNAAAAAYYYY!!!!

Big Red Richie · « **Reply #11734 on:** March 30, 2017, 10:42:56 am »

Ha Ha Ha. That bust ^^^^ is right up there, in quality, with the Fulham Michael Jackson statue.

El Lobo · « **Reply #11735 on:** March 30, 2017, 10:47:24 am »

Oh my god that's absolute genius

Andy82lfc · « **Reply #11736 on:** March 30, 2017, 11:05:20 am »

Quote from: Ziltoid on March 30, 2017, 09:42:32 am

Reminds me of Messerschmidt's 'character heads', if it was done in that style as a sort of play on his character I think its genius! Probably not though!

Personally i like how quirky it is, and makes him look a bit more grounded

You'd think with the money he has though he'd just say, fuck it I'll pay for a better one myself.

vicar · « **Reply #11737 on:** March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm »

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

Kekule · « **Reply #11738 on:** March 30, 2017, 06:15:32 pm »

Quote from: vicar on March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

To be invincible don't you need to, you know, not get beaten like they did at Chelsea and Hull? That's the second time this season a journalist has said that they haven't lost a game if you discount all the games they've lost.

It's an argument my six year old nephew makes, and even he sounds like he knows he's talking rubbish when says it.

Chris~ · « **Reply #11739 on:** March 30, 2017, 06:16:17 pm »

Quote from: vicar on March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

Going to guess Jamie Jackson.

Purple Red · « **Reply #11740 on:** March 30, 2017, 06:16:48 pm »

Quote from: Kekule on March 30, 2017, 06:15:32 pm

To be invincible don't you need to, you know, not get beaten like they did at Chelsea and Hull? That's the second time this season a journalist has said that they haven't lost a game if you discount all the games they've lost.

It's an argument my six year old nephew makes, and even he sounds like he knows he's talking rubbish when says it.

Unbeaten without being unbeaten.

Are they the new Everton?

Chakan · « **Reply #11741 on:** March 30, 2017, 06:24:04 pm »

Quote from: vicar on March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

This is what it takes to be a journalist nowadays. 4 year old kids with crayons can do the job.

How a relative unknown manager with a few pennies to rub together managed to turn a ratbag, wayward, second-rate team of players into one the best teams of the premier league era, going on a unbeaten run of game for 5 months (ok they lost twice, but that still means they were unbeaten) seeing their incredible run from 6th in league to 5th, all on a shoe string budget. Amazing really, it's a story not even Everton would release a DVD for.

Cracking Left Foot · « **Reply #11742 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:03:47 pm »

Even their own fans are leaving comments on that article saying it's embarrassing. I'm only surprised it wasn't Daniel Taylor who wrote it.

CallumLFC · « **Reply #11743 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:18:46 pm »

Jamie Jackson is a seriously bad journo. Bewildering how he has a role for a paper like the Guardian.

CallumLFC · « **Reply #11744 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:19:49 pm »

Quote from: Cracking Left Foot on March 30, 2017, 07:03:47 pm

Even their own fans are leaving comments on that article saying it's embarrassing. I'm only surprised it wasn't Daniel Taylor who wrote it.

Taylor is very good and has written some great stuff in recent times. Him and Jackson are not even in the same ballpark.

Iska · « **Reply #11745 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:21:22 pm »

Bloody hell, just give them the title now.

please, I have my reasons for it but... · « **Reply #11746 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:27:07 pm »

Quote from: Ziltoid on March 30, 2017, 09:42:32 am

Don't see much wrong with the statue

stevo7 · « **Reply #11747 on:** March 30, 2017, 07:56:50 pm »

Quote from: Y2J on March 30, 2017, 07:27:07 pm

Don't see much wrong with the statue

The head is Darren Gough

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=darren+gough&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwi318HU8_7SAhWCJ8AKHfnHDrEQ_AUIBygC&biw=1508&bih=952#imgrc=_

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #11748 on:** March 30, 2017, 08:17:35 pm »

Quote from: stevo7 on March 30, 2017, 07:56:50 pm

The head is Darren Gough

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=darren+gough&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwi318HU8_7SAhWCJ8AKHfnHDrEQ_AUIBygC&biw=1508&bih=952#imgrc=_

More than a hint of Raoul Moat.

Ziltoid · « **Reply #11749 on:** March 30, 2017, 08:36:45 pm »

Quote from: Crosby Road South and Nick on March 30, 2017, 08:17:35 pm

More than a hint of Raoul Moat.

Where's his fishing rod, chicken and beers?

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #11750 on:** March 30, 2017, 09:07:49 pm »

Quote from: Ziltoid on March 30, 2017, 08:36:45 pm

Where's his fishing rod, chicken and beers?

Gazza's on his way round now.

Mister Flip Flop · « **Reply #11751 on:** March 30, 2017, 09:13:09 pm »

Quote from: vicar on March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

Piss take?

CaseRed · « **Reply #11752 on:** March 31, 2017, 08:53:42 am »

Quote from: vicar on March 30, 2017, 05:28:31 pm

A journalist has written this..

How did José Mourinho turn Manchester United into the new Invincibles?
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/mar/30/jose-mourinho-manchester-united-18-match-run

?!

Incredible he managed to type all of that with one hand.

Working Class Hen-Pecked Hero · « **Reply #11753 on:** March 31, 2017, 09:28:52 am »

He is the worst journo going. United are the new invincibles, despite already getting beat numerous times this season

swoopy · « **Reply #11754 on:** March 31, 2017, 02:04:41 pm »

Smalling & Jones out for 'long term' according to Jose

Oops

stevo7 · « **Reply #11755 on:** March 31, 2017, 02:11:31 pm »

Quote from: swoopy on March 31, 2017, 02:04:41 pm

Smalling & Jones out for 'long term' according to Jose

Oops

Boro, Sunderland & Hull City will be kicking themselves missing out on these pair if they go down.
At least there is always Everton to hoover them up.

Red an White Tea Party · « **Reply #11756 on:** March 31, 2017, 03:19:59 pm »

Quote from: Ziltoid on March 30, 2017, 09:42:32 am

Didn't know Geoff Boycott was a yernited fan.

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #11757 on:** March 31, 2017, 07:16:00 pm »

Quote from: Red an White Tea Party on March 31, 2017, 03:19:59 pm

Didn't know Geoff Boycott was a yernited fan.

He actually is! Proud Yorkshireman my arse.

tonysleft · « **Reply #11758 on:** March 31, 2017, 07:37:19 pm »

Quote from: Acton Nick on March 31, 2017, 07:16:00 pm

He actually is! Proud Yorkshireman my arse.

He's a walking continent of common sense actually.

Iska · « **Reply #11759 on:** March 31, 2017, 09:04:37 pm »

Doesn't a tiny slice of West Yorkshire stretch into Greater Manchester? Maybe he's from that bit.

Edit: I knew it! http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/war-of-the-roses-row-erupts-as-yorkshire-688659.amp It's all kicking off over there.