Topic: The Laugh at Manchester United Thread or the 'Ban Thread' for idiots....?.

[Ziltoid]

got a piano in it and all

https://www.thelowryhotel.com/rooms-and-suites/charles-forte-suite

Ebony and Ivory....

[CHOPPER]

So then, Zilty's wife has a FUCK ALL, licence, eh.

[elbow]

This isn't just a spot to lay your head for a couple of nights. This my friend, is 'your house'. One of the most special things about going native in a hotel is how well designed the rooms are. Everything you need is close at hand. It's like all the best bits of living in a deluxe house but without the constant endless hassle of having to move between rooms. Think about it....within that one bedroom you have...a dining room (the bed), a lounge (the bed), a study (the desk), a meeting room (the bed and the desk), and even a gym (the gap between the bed and the wall). With a nightly routine consisting of press ups, squat thrusts and shadow boxing, i don't think you'll ever get so fit. Certainly not while staying in a hotel anyway. One of the other big boons of hotel life is the fact that the water is free. You could use as much as you please, and believe me, you should please. You can often fill a bath, get in, and then put the shower on too. It's like swimming in the sea during a tropical downpour. You can call it your 'caribbean soak'. Bliss

Combine the kettle with the fridge and wham! You've got yourself jelly.

[Ziltoid]

So then, Zilty's wife has a FUCK ALL, licence, eh.

She saw me post that and went a little mental, I never thought she would expect to fuck all, or fuck all. Anyway ill be getting fuck all license tonight. 

[Henry Kissinger]

How can someone not be able to cook?  It involves chopping a few veg and putting stuff in the oven or on the hob.  It's easy really.

Sorry, you got a bit technical there. Would you mind explaining the following words: chopping, oven and hob.

Much obliged.

[Ziltoid]

What is veg?

[CHOPPER]

She saw me post that and went a little mental, I never thought she would expect to fuck all, or fuck all. Anyway ill be getting fuck all license tonight. 

I'd of quoted that for ever in me sig, you do know that, don't you?   

[Ziltoid]

Yes I do, she hardly sees anything on here unless its a decent gif. Tonight was a different matter. Shes fine niw, told her Chops wanted to know if she does fuck all. Apparently she works her arse off around the house doing the chores whilst I sit on my fat arse doing fuck all.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Sorry, you got a bit technical there. Would you mind explaining the following words: chopping, oven and hob.

Much obliged.

Who do you think you are? Henry Kissinger?

[jed the red]

Sorry, you got a bit technical there. Would you mind explaining the following words: chopping, oven and hob.

Much obliged.

Clearly no Einstein are you?? 

[CHOPPER]

Yes I do, she hardly sees anything on here unless its a decent gif. Tonight was a different matter. Shes fine niw, told her Chops wanted to know if she does fuck all. Apparently she works her arse off around the house doing the chores whilst I sit on my fat arse doing fuck all.

Its a mans world brother. Nice to see you run a tight ship.

[Hymer Red]

. Apparently she works her arse off around the house doing the chores whilst I sit on my fat arse doing fuck all.

I smell a conspiracy here cos my wife used exactly the same words about me! Anybody else heard this?

[CHOPPER]

I smell a conspiracy here cos my wife used exactly the same words about me! Anybody else heard this?

They're probably both on the BELLA or Womens Own chat forums. Deffo a conspiracy. 

[Ziltoid]

Its like living in The Lowry here. Go out on the ale and to work and the cleaners been in and sorted everything out when I get in. Not sure why Maureen is so depressed.

[CHOPPER]

Loyd Grossman should do a special - Through the Cake Hole.


Which mouthy c*nt lives in a dump like this?.......

[reddebs]

Fucking hell ain't life great!

They've got the moany one and we've got Klopp.  How fucking fantastic is that!

Couldn't give a fuck you does fuck all and who does loads, they're fucked we're not 

[Henry Kissinger]

Who do you think you are? Henry Kissinger?

Well ... erm ... yes, actually. 

I have a famous brother you know. Ronnie Kissinger.

Clearly no Einstein are you?? 

Who's he?

[darragh85]

back in business now. beat man city reserves with their strongest side and with the help of the useless cowardly dwarf referee

[Hymer Red]

Its like living in The Lowry here. Go out on the ale and to work and the cleaners been in and sorted everything out when I get in. Not sure why Maureen is so depressed.

I got my missus a dishwasher last xmas, shes 17 and from eastern europe so I dont have to pay her the minimum wage and she does exactly what I tell her  Thats 20 quid a week Maureen is saving right there the miserable bugger!

[idontknow]

How can someone not be able to cook?  It involves chopping a few veg and putting stuff in the oven or on the hob.  It's easy really.

Ok, that's cooking, I've got that now. How about baking? 

[John C]

Loyd Grossman should do a special - Through the Cake Hole.


Which mouthy c*nt lives in a dump like this?.......

[idontknow]

But he earns enough money to hire ten full-time cooks!

Yeah but he uses them to make sure no-one goes near the cooker.

[Schmidt]

Yeah but he uses them to make sure no-one goes near the cooker.

He also bollocked one and banned him from the kitchen for taking the potatoes out of the oven before the timer went off.

[vivabobbygraham]

Probably waking up in his hotel room with a baby and mike tysons tiger today.

With his eyebrows shaved

[Hij]

This isn't just a spot to lay your head for a couple of nights. This my friend, is 'your house'. One of the most special things about going native in a hotel is how well designed the rooms are. Everything you need is close at hand. It's like all the best bits of living in a deluxe house but without the constant endless hassle of having to move between rooms. Think about it....within that one bedroom you have...a dining room (the bed), a lounge (the bed), a study (the desk), a meeting room (the bed and the desk), and even a gym (the gap between the bed and the wall). With a nightly routine consisting of press ups, squat thrusts and shadow boxing, i don't think you'll ever get so fit. Certainly not while staying in a hotel anyway. One of the other big boons of hotel life is the fact that the water is free. You could use as much as you please, and believe me, you should please. You can often fill a bath, get in, and then put the shower on too. It's like swimming in the sea during a tropical downpour. You can call it your 'caribbean soak'. Bliss

The first 75 percent of that made it sound like a prison cell until the bath

[21]

Media still mesmerised by him.
He played his strongest team in the League Cup while others were playing reserves and youngsters yet it was still billed as a famous convincing victory.

Reeks of desperation, he can sniff that this is probably his only opportunity for silverware this year.

He'll crack by Xmas.

[Seebab]

The AP quotes in this thread on the last few pages

[Bangin Them In]

So is this like Howard Hughes ?

Has he got the entire top floor and is no longer cutting his toenails ?

[Miltonred]

So he didn't try to shake Pep's hand and disappear into the dressing-room five or ten minutes from the end? Come to think of it, he didn't do it at Anfield last week either, or Stamford Bridge on Sunday. From memory, the only explanation he's ever given for leaving early was that he had to telephone his wife to tell her the score. You'd think then, wouldn't you, that he'd even be more eager to do so now given that he apparently spends his nights sequestered in a lonely hotel room far away from his family? Judging by his interview in the Guardian, you might even expect things to have gotten so bad that he'd be sending her sly texts from under his coat during the game (you know, "Mata just scored...miss u xx"), but you'd be wrong, seemingly. Maybe the look Roy Keane gave him the last time he tried it is still haunting him?

Big mistake by Maureen telling the whole world his missus is home alone. Giggseh will be all over that news.

[elbow]

The first 75 percent of that made it sound like a prison cell until the bath

Michael: Vandals, eh, Mourinho? Y'know, makes yeh wonder what it's all aboot.

JM: Aboot?

M: Aye. Y'know, vandals, y'know? What is it all aboot?

JM: Oh, about. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie... people.

[didi shamone]

Big mistake by Maureen telling the whole world his missus is home alone. Giggseh will be all over that news.

The thing is JT has forged a career from blocking shots.

[Peabee]

Ok, that's cooking, I've got that now. How about baking? 

Sorry, that's my limit.  I'm no Einstein.

[Jimmy Conway]

145sqm!!! Our house is 132sqm!!!!!

[Peabee]

145sqm!!! Our house is 132sqm!!!!!

I don't remember that quote from AP...?

[Shaun101]

The good thing about the Lowry Hotel is it is almost equidistant between Manchester Piccadilly for trips back to London and Old Trafford , the perineum so to speak , however almost , that actual honour goes to a wholesale butchers just outside Salford , and no they won't do sales to the general public.

[Hazell]

He sells kitchens but he cannae cook.

He's not from Acton is he? Or is that Ron Atkinson, which would make much more sense.

[Mister Flip Flop]

Herrera is a snide little prick. That is all. 

[Party Phil]

The AP quotes in this thread on the last few pages

You can see why when you read the transcript of his interview complaining about being stuck in the hotel

I’ve been living in a hotel for 26 weeks! 182 days in the Lowry Hotel! See this, look. Sanitary bags. They put these in my room every day. They know I’m a man! I keep loose Werther’s Originals in them. Look at this, seen this? That is 182 bottles of body lotion. I was going to sell them in a car boot sale. I can’t remember what it’s like to dial a number from a telephone without hitting nine first. Hello? Reception? Sorry, I must have hit a zero. I was at a friend’s house the other night. I was trying to make a phone call. I thought there was something wrong with the phone. I’d been hitting nine! I felt like a ruddy idiot. I just left. I couldn’t stay there after that.

[cashmere pringle]

Yeah but he uses them to make sure no-one goes near the cooker.

[IgorBobbins]

He sells kitchens but he cannae cook.

He's crackers, man!