Topic: Kids what can you say.

[Sarge]

Sitting down watching the football and my eldest daughter Eimear sits beside me and asks,

Eimear 'Dad do Liverpool have gingers playing for them'?

I shit you not.

Sarge 'Ahhh no love'

Eimear 'Did they ever have gingers dad'?

Sarge 'Yes love just recent too a man from Norway call John Arne Riise, he was a real ginger love'?

Eimear 'Was he good'

Sarge 'Well yes he was very good'

Eimear 'Well you see dad gingers are people too and just because they look different does not mean they are not good'

She kisses me on the forehead and walks off calm as fuck and i'm left thinking, what the fuck was that all about.

 

[Mouth]

Is she ginger?

[Tepid water]

Is she ginger?

Are you ginger?

It would explain a lot

[Sarge]

Is she ginger?

Nope blond, blue eyes and a stunning looking girl.

[Mouth]

Are you ginger?

It would explain a lot

Nope not in the slightest.

Nope blond, blue eyes and a stunning looking girl.

Maybe she is in love with a ginger and is setting you up for the shock.

[Sarge]

Maybe she is in love with a ginger and is setting you up for the shock.

She is 9.

[Tepid water]

Eimar?

Is she a Brazilian footballer on the side?

[Sarge]

Eimar?

Is she a Brazilian footballer on the side?

Her knickname for me is Pablo

[Tepid water]

I told my son he had to eat his tea.

He ate a tiny mouthful so I told him
"that was minute, you need to have more"

He replied

"but you don't have a newt"

[Sarge]

They come out with some stuff and by jaysus you got to be careful what you say around them.

[Haemogoblin]

I told my son he had to eat his tea.

He ate a tiny mouthful so I told him
"that was minute, you need to have more"

He replied

"but you don't have a newt"

LOL

You obviously don't realise you have a potential Tim Vine-level genius there.

[lucas21]

Not really a kid but was mixing cement for my father with my 15 year old brother.
The auld lad told us to mix it at 10:1 (ten sand to one cement)
My brother checks his watch and shouts back "It's only half 9, what the fuck are we to do until then"

I had a stitch from laughing

[Sarge]

Not really a kid but was mixing cement for my father with my 15 year old brother.
The auld lad told us to mix it at 10:1 (ten sand to one cement)
My brother checks his watch and shouts back "It's only half 9, what the fuck are we to do until then"

I had a stitch from laughing

[Mouth]

She is 9.

They start early these days, you just watch out, he might a be a cute little ginger kid now, but he will grow up to be Carrot Top.

[MULLEN]

The title of this thread makes my brain hurt.

[rob1966]

They come out with some stuff and by jaysus you got to be careful what you say around them.

Especially when you dont even know they are listening. Was having a bit of a row with the missus over me not putting stuff away and how she'd been waiting "for fucking ages" for me to do something.

Couple of days later, I walked into the living room with my lads breakfast (3 at the time), he looks at me and says, I've been waiting for fucking ages for you to bring that. A couple of days later, he's with his Grandma and Grandad, they'd just missed the bus, so he turned to his Grandma and asked her what where they going to do now that they'd missed the fucking bus.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Not really a kid but was mixing cement for my father with my 15 year old brother.
The auld lad told us to mix it at 10:1 (ten sand to one cement)
My brother checks his watch and shouts back "It's only half 9, what the fuck are we to do until then"

I had a stitch from laughing

Id have given him a stitch for that

My daughter once pointed out a black man and asked why he was a funny colour, as loud as ya please so everyone could hear. Cheers hun, like i need that

[Red Beret]

Heard a story once about a woman in the dole office with her little girl.  Young lass piped up: "MY DAD'S WORKING ON THE SIDE!"

 

[Sarge]

Especially when you dont even know they are listening. Was having a bit of a row with the missus over me not putting stuff away and how she'd been waiting "for fucking ages" for me to do something.

Couple of days later, I walked into the living room with my lads breakfast (3 at the time), he looks at me and says, I've been waiting for fucking ages for you to bring that. A couple of days later, he's with his Grandma and Grandad, they'd just missed the bus, so he turned to his Grandma and asked her what where they going to do now that they'd missed the fucking bus.

[hixxstar]

i raise you....

[AndyInVA]

i raise you....

ah yes, the ultimate liverpool ginger since we have had color telly

[damian]

They can be quite embarrassing at times.

I took our eldest daughter on the tour of Anfield a couple of years ago when she was about 4 or 5, she was still in nappies. As we got outside and sat down, everything was quiet whilst the guide was telling us all about the ground. At that point my daughter started saying, quite loudly, "I need a wee, daddy, I need a wee". I started wispering "come and sit down a minute, I'll take you soon", to which she started shouting "I can't sit down, I'm wet, I need a wee!!".

Another time, similar situation, I'd just been to visit the mother-in-law in hospital. On the way out she said she needed the toilet, the wife said it was my turn so I took her into the cubicle. She sits there and does quite a long wee, before exclaiming quite loudly "wow, that was a big one daddy".

[Yabazza]

Heard a story once about a woman in the dole office with her little girl.  Young lass piped up: "MY DAD'S WORKING ON THE SIDE!"

 

At Mass one Sunday morning years ago they were passing round the collection basket and my wee sister yells, pointing: "That man didn't put any money in!"

Mortifying.

[Elli]

she was about 4 or 5, she was still in nappies.

Really? That seems late by like, 2 or 3 years?

[KERRYKOP]

[Doc Evil]

I told my son he had to eat his tea.

He ate a tiny mouthful so I told him
"that was minute, you need to have more"

He replied

"but you don't have a newt"

Should have told that you DID have one until he ate the fecker!! If he denies it, tell him that it was tiny and he just ate it, that'll teach the little bleeder.

[BRdispatch05]

This might have been more funny if you were there type of story

I was a senior in highschool and recently joined an organization where adults sign up to hang out with kids between ages 3-14 who need good influences in their life. They paired me with a little seven year old boy named Dominic, always full of innocent surprising quotes .

  I know there are some good ones in there, but I can only think of one right now. We were at a pool swimming in the shallow end, and I was trying to teach him how to swim. I could still stand but he was swimming and we took his floaties off after I felt comfortable he could stay above water on his own. I held him for the first few minutes and every now and then let go and walked a couple steps to make him swim to me. After a few minutes he went under for a second or so before I grabbed him, and as he breached the water he was gasping and said "Brad *cough* please stop trying to kill me."

I had no idea how to react but burst into laughter and assured him I was only trying to help him learn to swim. It was just unexpected

[Upinsmoke]

I asked my 19 month old son this morning "why can't I have a lie in" he roared in my face, he thought I said lion! Very nice moment

[evie]

At Mass one Sunday morning years ago they were passing round the collection basket and my wee sister yells, pointing: "That man didn't put any money in!"

Mortifying.

[And Could He Play]

My daughter has just said to me

"hide in the cupboard, play hide and seek in the cupboard"

i told her im to heavy,it will brake.  she stormed off and is now back with plastic scissors and masking tape, sticking it all over the cupboard saying

"look you wont fall off now"

[Crimson_Tank]

Two great conversations were had Last week between Lil' CT and me.
First:
Men each serving.": "Lil' CT, how was school today?"
Lil' CT: "It was good."
Me: "Well what did you learn today?"
Lil' CT: "Well I learned about fruits and vegetables today, I figured something out."
Me: "Oh yeah, what was that Lil' CT?"
Lil' CT: "Eggs come from Eggplants."
Me: "Well Lil' CT, did you just figure that out?"
Lil' CT: "Yup"
Me: "I see, well that would seem right but Eggplants actually make Eggplants, and eggs... well eggs come from chicken tushys"
Lil' CT: (Look of bewilderment/amazement)

and Second:

My Brother: "Hmmm, (while looking at a package of cookies that Lil' CT picked out tonight for his snack) These cookies are only 90 calories per serving."
Me: "How many cookies per serving?"
Brother: "Just one, but I thought that it would be worse."
... (Later in the evening)
Lil' CT: "We need to brush my teeth after my snack."
Me: "Yes, we do. I am glad that you want to do that, Grandpa would be proud." (His Grandpa is a Dentist)
Lil' CT: "Yeah, and because my cookies have 90 cavities in each serving."

[Kashinoda]

Was in Hong Kong teaching a small class of kids around 3-4 years old, had one little shit who misbehaved without fail every lesson. Anyway usually their parents drop them off and stay in the lobby for a bit to have a coffee and chat, the kids sit down and I pop to the office to grab some materials for the lesson. When I get back the door is closed, I use a little force to open it but it's been locked from the inside, by now the parents notice so I turn around with a nervous smile on my face and they're just staring into my soul. Looked through the window and he's just sitting there with his arms folded, whistling and looking up at the ceiling. Left me embarrassed and mad, but couldn't help but admire his efforts.

[Malaysian Kopite]

At Mass one Sunday morning years ago they were passing round the collection basket and my wee sister yells, pointing: "That man didn't put any money in!"

Mortifying.

[BRdispatch05]

This is probably one of my favorite threads on RAWK