Topic: The feeling of becoming a dad for the first time

[corkboy]

I'll reply to you Corky, I'll pretend I didn't see the answer above yours...

Probably a stupid question but why was it deemed not a good idea? Deemed inappropriate?

Presumably. Mind you, the Pets one is still up there, from which we can deduce that Rawk is not in favour of paedophilia but sort of ok with bestiality.

[And Could He Play]

Presumably. Mind you, the Pets one is still up there, from which we can deduce that Rawk is not in favour of paedophilia but sort of ok with bestiality.

 

[Filler.]

Bloody hell, you have issues!

It has lessened.. and the thoughts about me throwing him over the bannister disappeared quickly. I put those rare, isolated wobbles down to vertigo - something which has developed in me over the last few years - and it only happened when he was very small and whilst carrying him across the landing. I also thought they might be due to hearing so many horror stories, and the mix of those two things may have helped to flash the image infront of my eyes, but I was thinking about this today while at work, and I think it was probably due to the fact that your mind is busily re-programming itself, and is retraining your outlook at break-neck speed, and simply can't keep pace. The woman goes thru a massive hormonal change after birth (and during pregnancy - well, all the bloody time lets face it , arf) and I think the Dad does too sort of. The brain (mine anyway) may have needed to go down these corridors of the imagination so as to make sure that it doesn't happen. It has to enact the worse so as to be prepared to guard against it. That's a good dose of cod psychoanalysis right there. I think it might have worked tho, as he's had 2 accidents with me (bumps and falls), and his mother is accountable for 5... we keep a score, and I've done quite a bit of house husbandry.

There's a particular part to that Charlie Brooker article I linked above that resonated with me totally... I'll quote it below, and I'd take it further (I mentioned it on here when mine was born) that I felt free. I had this child in my arms and for years I thought I wasn't going to be a dad, or a good dad, or both, or I was going to feel resentful because I couldn't do what I enjoyed doing again, but it was the opposite.

Apologies for swearing in the presence of a child, but the first thing I thought was "Fuck me". Not just as an expression of surprise, but as a mission statement, as in: "Fuck me and what I want – from now on, my task is to protect you, whatever or whoever you are." Prior to the birth, other dads had warned me that "bonding" might not happen for weeks, even months. Also, I was worried I might simply feel nothing. Instead I felt reprogrammed, head-to-toe, in an instant. That was a shock.

I remember that moment like it was yesterday.

Presumably. Mind you, the Pets one is still up there, from which we can deduce that Rawk is not in favour of paedophilia but sort of ok with bestiality.

[Filler.]

The worst moment I had was at his first GP appointment - the look over. He was 3 or 4 weeks old, can't remember. The night before I'd cut up a chicken - I removed the legs, the thighs, taken out the breast plate and removed the breasts etc. If you've ever dismembered a chicken, you'll know you have to pop out the thigh sockets before you cut thru. We had a nice meal and put the little one to sleep and had a glass of wine.

Next morning, at 9 am we're at the GP's, and we chat and we lay him on the table and he's smiling away, and gurgling etc and he starts to look him over... looking at his head and his joints and feeling around and then suddenly he takes hold of his thighs and he pushes them apart until both his knees are nigh on touching the examining table and I find myself suddenly grabbing the GP's arm and going 'What the fuck are you doing!?' We still laugh about that.

[Upinsmoke]

There's definitely some terrifying moments you go through as parents. Some just deal with it, me, I'm a worrier, especially when it comes to my kids. I remember when charlie had gastroenteritis, he was only a few months old, I was terrified, never seen nothing like it in my life, after every other feed he would bring an entire bottle back up, once we were in tesco's and he was in his car seat attached to the pram, he threw up so bad, it gushed out of his mouth, his nose, it was awful.    I didn't know what the fuck to do, except bin the shopping off and rush him out of there. I also imagine the worse, if he falls, if he's got a cough or a cold, it can't just be that simple with me, I'm always worried there's a deeper underlying problem.     

[corkboy]

It doesn't end that soon either. My kid got a boot to the side of the head in a match recently and went down in a crumpled heap. I never moved so fast off the sideline (it's ok, I was the coach). Anyway, he was grand, they usually are.

[Immoral King Brian Blessed]

My eldest had to have surgery when she was about 2 1/2 because she had double trigger thumbs. It's really a minor surgery, but her going under anesthetic was not something I was too happy with.

[Filler.]

My little one was very near to having an MRI scan for a suspected case of Spina Bifida Occulta. He was born with a small lump near the base of his spine, about the size of half a large broad bean. We noticed it straight away, and the GP said 'ah, it's nothing to worry about, it's normal.' We weren't happy with that diagnosis, so went back again, then again with more determination and worry, but by then, at 4 months old, it was too late to have a regular x-ray. Great. So we sought expert advice and he was pretty convinced it was a lypoma, a small lump of fatty tissue and harmless. But we had a couple of incidents were he complained he couldn't walk (after 11 months) and crying in pain. We dreaded the general anaesthetic he'd have to have, and he'd be inside an enclosed space for a good 20-30 minutes without any heart monitoring. That was hard - but thankfully, no incidents for a good while so we haven't gone thru with it, tho the worry is still there.

One of the biggest problems with any illness that your child has is the internet. You go there for information, and you come out paranoid and more often than not, ill-informed.



I used to enjoy this blog quite alot... http://www.daddytypes.com/ Haven't checked in there for a while but he does source a great variety of stories. From the good, the bad and the downright stupid array of new products on the market to stories of a little girl having her finger bitten off by the family's pet piranha. The tank it was kept in was at just the right height for an 18 month old girl to reach inside it. You couldn't make it up.

[Immoral King Brian Blessed]

I don't really worry about them falling over and such. As someone said they're robust things. My biggest fear is cot death, and I blame Eastenders for that. When I was about 10 Sue and Ali's little boy died and it must have stuck with me. And then a few years later I read an article in a newspaper or magazine about how cot death was high in New Zealand and after research they discovered a few things you can do to lower the risk. That also stuck with me.

[Filler.]

The fear of cot death was pretty strong for us too... that first night we slept with one eye open, peering at the blankets to check if they were rising. That lasted a good week or 3, but slowly subsided. There's some super 8 footage of me as a 6 month old getting tucked into my cot, and I was face down, unable to move my head with ease due to the 10 inches or so of blankets on top of me... and the 10 inches are no exaggeration. And both parents were smokers!... ah the 70's...

[TheKid.]

I remember when I used to get some sleep

[Crosby Nick]

I remember when I used to get some sleep

Hold on to that thought. You'll get it back in a few year. Unless you have another one of course.

[macca888]

I remember when I used to get some sleep

Ha! My eldest lad had his end of school prom the other day (damn you fucking Yanks and the way you've Americanised our education system!)  Afterwards, him, his girl and about a dozen or so of their mates came back to our house for a sort of smallish party. They're all nice kids so we thought we could leave them alone and trust them to be sensible. Anyway, one of the lads decided that the best way to celebrate his prom night was to drink Vodka, Gin and red wine cocktails. I ended up sat in the garden until 6am with this spewing kid, not even one of my own, giving him iced water and cleaning his face with wet wipes. Illness and other things continue until they leave home, so don't count on too much sleep any time soon.

[And Could He Play]

I remember when I used to get some sleep

ha ha , we used to have a night each on "duty", then we changed it to two nights on two nights out, god i looked forward to my days.

[TheKid.]

We both get up in the night, rather than take turns at the minute.
When's your new arrival due Paul?

[And Could He Play]

We both get up in the night, rather than take turns at the minute.
When's your new arrival due Paul?

first week in October, good times, i'm getting all my sleep in now.

[Immoral King Brian Blessed]

I remember when I used to get some sleep

what is this "sleep" you speak of? Only kidding. With both I'd stay up until about 2AM, then the mrs was on. Breast feeding plus pumping allowed this. But with both it calmed down after a few months.

Having said that, I've not slept past 7:30 in nearly five years. Luckily, they are worth it.

[TheKid.]

He woke up abut earlier than scheduled for his feed tonight so gave him a little cuddle only him to do a massive poo.

The missus isn't (can't) breast feeding (oh didn't the nhs midwives at our 'parenting classes' make us feel like lepers for that...!) so either can do any time.

[Immoral King Brian Blessed]

Was the poo on you? When scat becomes part of normal life, youve made it.

[rednich85]

The missus isn't (can't) breast feeding (oh didn't the nhs midwives at our 'parenting classes' make us feel like lepers for that...!) so either can do any time.

What is that mind fuck all about?

They really press that breast feeding lark hard. Guilt trips....the works. Its fucking unreal how they can act so cunty.

I've 3 kids, the most recent being about 6 months ago. Out first two werent breastfed but my wife decided to try it out. She loved it but it seems a massive ballache in the begining.

[vivabobbygraham]

He woke up abut earlier than scheduled for his feed tonight so gave him a little cuddle only him to do a massive poo.

The missus isn't (can't) breast feeding (oh didn't the nhs midwives at our 'parenting classes' make us feel like lepers for that...!) so either can do any time.

Nazi's mate, had me missus in tears. She couldn't get the milk out in  the ossie, he wouldn't take, it all went off so they kept her in. I had to have a word (her 1st, my 4th) and they ripped into me. I went back and waved a cow and gate formulae tin at them. If looks could kill...

Enjoy my friend...

[TheKid.]

They have to press it, for it's benefits I guess.
My missus is on medication that means she can't do it, so every time the women would give one of her little spiels I'd end up giving her something sarcastic back. It's not her fault but still annoyed me.

Thankfully King Richard, the BM remained in the diaper...

[vivabobbygraham]

They have to press it, for it's benefits I guess.
My missus is on medication that means she can't do it, so every time the women would give one of her little spiels I'd end up giving her something sarcastic back. It's not her fault but still annoyed me.

Thankfully King Richard, the BM remained in the diaper...

No, I get it but if it ain't happening the mother doesn't need grief when she's all over the place being her first an' all that. I think th epidural didn't help though. High as a kite she was then back down to earth with a thud, crying the leg off herself thinking she's a bad mother.

18 years in between for me. Back then they delivered and had you out with a tin of formulae under your arm before you could say 'breast feed.' Gas and air was all the rage then, I had a little go meself. Wonderful. Next thing you know I was on crack...only messin'....

[Immoral King Brian Blessed]

They have to press it, for it's benefits I guess.
My missus is on medication that means she can't do it, so every time the women would give one of her little spiels I'd end up giving her something sarcastic back. It's not her fault but still annoyed me.

Thankfully King Richard, the BM remained in the diaper...

they should be fully aware of their patients situation, and therefore shouldn't be on your mrs about it.

And your time will come!

[TheKid.]

3 weeks in. Hard work but wouldn't swap it for anything

[And Could He Play]

3 weeks in. Hard work but wouldn't swap it for anything

 

how you doing on the sleep situation, thats the killer. TWO DAYS ON TWO DAYS OFF , shifts are winners.

[TheKid.]

Playing the shifts as they come like. Obviously she is off on maternity and I'm off for the next five weeks too. So afternoon naps are helping to

[Upinsmoke]

3 weeks in. Hard work but wouldn't swap it for anything

same ere, she's three weeks today.  Its flown to be honest, she's just getting into her little routine now, only another few weeks till she sleeps through hopefully. Our 18 month old has a virus too, he's deffo under the weather so just when one gets settled the other starts crying

[WEST HAM PAUL]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

[TheKid.]

Congrats mate

[Jezzman]

Congratulations Paul.... we are just going into week 17....

[Crosby Nick]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

Congratulations mate that's brilliant! Hope your misses and the little one are doing well.

Named after one of your favourite former players by any chance?

[Mr Grieves]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


Nice one mate, mrs grieves is 9 days overdue so the wait continues

Congratulations


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

[TheTeflonJohn]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

Congrats Paul. I remember that feeling of floating on air when your baby is put in your arms for the first time. Great times.

[TheTeflonJohn]

Congratulations mate that's brilliant! Hope your misses and the little one are doing well.

Named after one of your favourite former players by any chance?

Come on Nick calling your new born Julian Dicks is well out of order

[Upinsmoke]

Congrats mate,enjoy!!

[WEST HAM PAUL]

Thanks lads

[And Could He Play]

Congrats mate

[Barneylfc]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

Congrats mate.

[Mirra]

Finally !!!!

We had our first baby tonight, well yesterday now a little girl called Erin.

Both doing fine .


So a new little red err no Hammer into the world 

Congrats buddy, dont inflict being a Hammer onto her tho! Thats just cruel

Was just a kid myself when my oldest was born, was scared to pick him up in all honesty! Thought id break him, was scared of dropping him etc. But soon got over that, nothing beats it for me. Got 5 now 4 boys and a girl, shouldnt say it but my girl can have whatever she wants when she wants No more though, well thats the plan at least!