Sir Alex, my wighteous fwiend. Such a pleasure to share this platform with you, and I am twuly thwilled to be able to pose a question to you. I'm quite a well wead fellow, and as such am quite eloquent in my delivewy of speech. As such I would descwibe my cuwwent feelings as that of utopia. Your pwesence can have that effect on people.
After enlightening evewybody with my wise wise words, Sir Alex, I noticed that you said you intend to wetire in thwee years time and was wondewing whether you intend to put a good word in for me when your job becomes vacant? As you vewy well know, after 37 years in management I have acquired a twemendous wecord and my methods have shown that they twanslate fwom Malmo to Neuchatel Xamax, and fwom the Swiss national team to West Bwom. I know I would fit in vewy well, would continue your divine legacy via my tactical pwowess, and perhaps even with a bit of media support I would be wewarded with a knighthood like your fine self. What do you say, will you do your old pal a favour?
Oh, and also, I've found some wather unpleasant excwement in the back of my Wolls Woyce: you would't happen to know anything about that would you? My wife has been questioning it's appeawance.
With vewy best wegards,