Author Topic: So you think you might not be a wool?  (Read 6071 times)

Offline yes

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So you think you might not be a wool?
« on: November 7, 2011, 10:53:24 AM »
We've all heard the same old excuses haven't we?

"well I know I don't live there anymore but.."

"it's strange but my mate over the road is within the council boundary so I can't understand why we aren't..."

"I actually live closer to the Liver Building than you as the crow flies..."

and the unforgettable

"I know it's Gio Goi but I really like it..."


So come on enough talking, take this easy multiple choice test to find out once and for all: Are you a bad fucking wool?


1.   You walk into a local footwear store. After perusing the items on sale for some time you come across something that catches your eye as a must have. Is it
a)   A pair of limited edition Adidas Gazelles.
b)   A pair of white Lonsdales with a single large velcro strap.
c)   A pair of Hello Kitty trainers that light up when you walk.


2.   You are walking along the street. What is your preferred method of perambulation?
a)   A slow but sure saunter
b)   A ridiculous swagger whereby your hands alternately touch the floor with each step you take
c)   A jaunty skip whilst taking care not to touch the pavement cracks in case you break your back.


3.   You are in Liverpool City Centre. What is your preferred method of public transport for you to get home?
a)   Jump the bus or train a few stops.
b)   Embark on an expedition that involves a bus, a train and a ferry, bridge or tunnel.
c)   At the front on the top deck of a double decker bus so you can pretend to be the driver.


4.   You are feeling a bit hungry. What is your idea of a nice meal?
a)   A plate of your nan’s Scouse.
b)   A babba’s head, mopped up with lashings of pie split.
c)   A packet of cherry Fiz Wiz and a candy necklace.


5.   Your neighbour has just bought a new car that you must admit has got you tinged with jealousy. What is it?
a)   A new 5 series BMW
b)   A green Renault Clio Campus 1.0l with blacked out windows, the spoiler off an old red XR3i welded onto the roof, speakers that fill the boot and most of the back seats, a chrome Fat Boy exhaust that cost more than the car itself and a sunbed nailed to the underside of the chassis.
c)   A 12v Barbie electric jeep with forward AND reverse mode.


6.   It is your wedding day. What are you most likely to wear for this special occasion given a choice from the following?
a)   A simple Paul Smith suit and Jeffery West shoes
b)   A pair of Voi jeans, a Henleys Shirt (tucked out) and a pair of Nicholas Deakins boots.
c)   A Tinkerbell fancy dress outfit, your mum’s shoes that are ten sizes too big and some smeared lipstick.


7.   You have some rubbish you need to get rid of. What is the colour of the receptacle in which you choose to dispose of it?
a)   Purple
b)   Not purple
c)   Pink with pictures of Peppa Pig around the sides.


8.   You need a haircut. What are the most crucial implements required in order to perform this duty?
a)   A pair of clippers
b)   A pair of scissors, a flat top comb, some spiky wet-look hair gel and a bowl.
c)   A lollipop


9.   You are some distance away from your house and you don’t want to walk. A friend offers to give you a ride on their bike. What do they offer you?
a)   A takey
b)   Any number of ridiculous phrases that isn’t a takey.
c)   A ride on the back of their bike.

10.   You have you birth certificate in front of you. What does it say?
a)     Born in Oxford Street or Mill Road
b)     Born in Billinge, Arrowe Park, Whiston, Ormskirk, Warrington or Chester
c)      You have no idea but you think there might be a kicking k on it somewhere.



All As: It seems that you might not be one of the others but stay on your guard and be careful of trips to the outer limits of Walton, Old Swan, Childwall and Allerton. Always do your duty by reporting anyone who looks like they might be about to buy a Le Shark jumper.

Any B answers (even one): You are a bad fucking wool. Please stay out of this thread and city for everyone's sake.

All Cs: You are a four year old girl. Let's hope you were born in the Women's otherwise can I please refer you to the above when the time comes.

Online J-Mc-

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #1 on: November 7, 2011, 11:33:22 AM »
:lmao
The day the mod fell.

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Offline jaffod

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #2 on: November 7, 2011, 12:10:08 PM »
You could have mixed the options up a bit. After question 3 I knew to answer (a) so as not to be a fucking wool.
 And what the fuck's wrong with pretending to be the bus driver?

Offline 1892-WELLZ

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #3 on: November 7, 2011, 12:39:02 PM »
2 b's

*turns around and walks in shame*


 ;D

« Last Edit: November 7, 2011, 12:42:04 PM by 1892-WELLZ »
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Offline TheKid.

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #4 on: November 7, 2011, 01:18:20 PM »
You missed Fazak off the hospitals, you bad wool ;)

Online Haemoglobin

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #5 on: November 7, 2011, 01:21:23 PM »
Honest answers:

1. a), but not ideal. Classic Samba [in any muted colour; black, navy, dark green, deep red, greyish-purple] > Gazelles.

2. None, I stride fast and upright like the gestapo. a) will do for a relaxing stroll.

3. a). And yeah, fuck all wrong with c).

4. a) I suppose if those are the only options, but my nan's more Irish than Scouse, so it's more of an Irish stew. c) for afters.

5. c) sounds pretty boss. I envy the carefree oblivion of youth.

6. c)   if I'm having second thoughts and want an easy out. The others sound pretty dull though. Can't knock a cream Armani number.

7. a) or b), depending on where I am at the time, and what kind of rubbish it is. ::) Recycle more, you bunch of fucking pricks.

8. A professional hairdresser. Otherwise, a).

9. a), obv.

10. a).


So mostly As, and I'm still a wool.
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Offline only5times

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #6 on: November 7, 2011, 01:28:57 PM »
You missed Fazak off the hospitals, you bad wool ;)
You missed off Sefton General you Texan.
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Offline yes

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #7 on: November 7, 2011, 02:57:23 PM »
You missed Fazak off the hospitals, you bad wool ;)

Fazakerley deliberately omitted as discussions are still ongoing as to its wool status due to it being in a very politically sensitive area. I'm in favour of it being woolified but the committee hearing isn't until next week and it would be wrong of me to comment any more on the matter before then.




Offline Istanbul Therapy Group

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #8 on: November 7, 2011, 03:47:32 PM »
Fazakerley deliberately omitted as discussions are still ongoing as to its wool status due to it being in a very politically sensitive area. I'm in favour of it being woolified but the committee hearing isn't until next week and it would be wrong of me to comment any more on the matter before then.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/74/Fazakerley_Sign.jpg/220px-Fazakerley_Sign.jpg
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Offline loveisreal

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #9 on: November 7, 2011, 03:56:07 PM »
don't you know that crew cuts and trainers are out again?
being a rebel's fine

Offline yes

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Offline rob1966

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #11 on: November 7, 2011, 10:35:43 PM »
It'll take more than that mate. Next you'll be telling us that Spekeheads aren't wools.

That sign is just up from the Copple House Lane junction, the hospital is well inside the boundary. Got an L9 postcode too.

And you missed Walton off the hospitals too.

Offline Andy @ Allerton

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #12 on: November 7, 2011, 10:43:47 PM »
Anyone outside L19 and L18 is akin to Larry the Lamb and his dancing sheep.
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Offline yes

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #13 on: November 7, 2011, 11:52:39 PM »
Just to clarify matters regarding the apparent confusion over the woolly hospitals. As far as the committee is concerned Mill Road is lucky to be getting the all clear, never mind fucking Fazakerley and Walton. They are Kirkby and Bootle outposts with confirmed high wool birth-rates and as such need to be treated with extreme caution. Under no circumstances whatsoever should any product of these hospitals (human or otherwise) be assumed as safe to approach.

Already in this thread we're seeing the classic wool-enriched characteristic of protesting too much. It's exactly what you expect from them, "look we've got an 0151 number and everything, we're ok" then next thing you know they've talked you into buying a pair of Kappa.

DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC.

Offline KerryKop

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #14 on: November 8, 2011, 12:05:24 AM »
3.   You are in Liverpool City Centre. What is your preferred method of public transport for you to get home?
c)   At the front on the top deck of a double decker bus so you can pretend to be the driver.

:lmao

Offline 1892-WELLZ

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #15 on: November 8, 2011, 01:29:57 AM »


Already in this thread we're seeing the classic wool-enriched characteristic of protesting too much. It's exactly what you expect from them, "look we've got an 0151 number and everything, we're ok" then next thing you know they've talked you into buying a pair of Kappa.

DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC.

:lmao
i know a lad that shagged twins, i asked him how he could tell the difference , he told me the lad had a mussy.
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Offline Big Red Richie

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #16 on: November 8, 2011, 01:45:14 AM »
WOW.  I think I've just discovered the most pointless rawk thread of all time.  :boring

Offline Sian

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #17 on: November 8, 2011, 02:11:04 AM »
Fucking hell :lmao
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Offline kavah

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #18 on: November 8, 2011, 03:50:21 AM »
Ha ha ha h ha ha

worthy of The End

All As: It seems that you might not be one of the others but stay on your guard and be careful of trips to the outer limits of Walton, Old Swan, Childwall and Allerton. Always do your duty by reporting anyone who looks like they might be about to buy a Le Shark jumper.

Any B answers (even one): You are a bad fucking wool.

« Last Edit: November 8, 2011, 03:51:54 AM by kavah »

Offline only5times

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #19 on: November 8, 2011, 06:13:04 AM »
don't you know that crew cuts and trainers are out again?
Tell that to the Old Swan Dyke brigade.
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Offline Jagged Princess

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #20 on: November 8, 2011, 07:17:38 AM »
Just to clarify matters regarding the apparent confusion over the woolly hospitals. As far as the committee is concerned Mill Road is lucky to be getting the all clear, never mind fucking Fazakerley and Walton. They are Kirkby and Bootle outposts with confirmed high wool birth-rates and as such need to be treated with extreme caution. Under no circumstances whatsoever should any product of these hospitals (human or otherwise) be assumed as safe to approach.

Already in this thread we're seeing the classic wool-enriched characteristic of protesting too much. It's exactly what you expect from them, "look we've got an 0151 number and everything, we're ok" then next thing you know they've talked you into buying a pair of Kappa.

DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC.

 :lmao

What happens of you were born at home in Kirkby or Bootle?
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Offline gregor

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #21 on: November 8, 2011, 07:33:44 AM »
:lmao

What happens of you were born at home in Kirkby or Bootle?

Well that's much more simple - you're a wool.
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Offline jaygraham

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #22 on: November 8, 2011, 08:50:25 AM »
Just to clarify matters regarding the apparent confusion over the woolly hospitals. As far as the committee is concerned Mill Road is lucky to be getting the all clear, never mind fucking Fazakerley and Walton. They are Kirkby and Bootle outposts with confirmed high wool birth-rates and as such need to be treated with extreme caution. Under no circumstances whatsoever should any product of these hospitals (human or otherwise) be assumed as safe to approach.

Already in this thread we're seeing the classic wool-enriched characteristic of protesting too much. It's exactly what you expect from them, "look we've got an 0151 number and everything, we're ok" then next thing you know they've talked you into buying a pair of Kappa.

DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC.


Hahahahaha   boss
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Offline CornerFlag

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #23 on: November 8, 2011, 11:22:15 PM »
I can only really say one thing given where I live:

My Twitter

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Offline It's Jimmy Corkhill

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #24 on: November 9, 2011, 06:12:55 AM »
3-Star Jumpers.
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Online AlphaDelta

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #25 on: November 9, 2011, 01:23:45 PM »
I spat my tea out laughing when I read this, the "babba's head" is pure class, however my amusement ended when I answered 'B' having been born in Whiston Hospital, and discovered I was a wool.

The fooking cheek of it!!!  ;)
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Offline weebroalan

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #26 on: November 9, 2011, 01:50:09 PM »
Brilliant :lmao
Too many fucking drama queens in here - if the arl arses had their way we'd be pushing burning tyres down Anfield Road.

Offline Andy @ Allerton

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #27 on: November 9, 2011, 02:13:15 PM »
I spat my tea out laughing when I read this, the "babba's head" is pure class, however my amusement ended when I answered 'B' having been born in Whiston Hospital, and discovered I was a wool.

The fooking cheek of it!!!  ;)


Whiston is even below Wool.

It's subWool.
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Offline Al Bol

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #28 on: November 9, 2011, 07:35:49 PM »
My place of birth is listed as Wigan, so no, I do not think I'm not a wool.
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Offline yes

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #29 on: November 9, 2011, 08:05:38 PM »
My place of birth is listed as Wigan, so no, I do not think I'm not a wool.

Do not be fooled by the crafty use of a triple negative.

This specimen is a prime example of a wool in sheep's clothing. Being deliberately obtuse so that you can't see the wool for the trees.

Offline Rusty Oysterburger

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #30 on: November 9, 2011, 10:00:01 PM »
Hahaha, boss.

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #31 on: November 9, 2011, 11:02:31 PM »
I have a grey Wheelie Bin with Salford on it.
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Offline Theoldkopite

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #32 on: November 9, 2011, 11:21:17 PM »
Shouldn't 2a include the hands down the front of the trackie bottoms?

Offline kavah

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #33 on: November 10, 2011, 05:25:10 AM »

Whiston is even below Wool.

It's subWool.

Stuart Maconie's attempts to explain it in 'Pies & Prejudice'...

"In the language of the Scouser, people from Wigan, and for that matter Bolton, Oldham or Bury, are woollybacks. In fact, I tend to think that woollyback is really just an imperious racial generalisation, like those ex-colonels who think it's all wogs after Calais....I think most Scousers secretly think of Milanese fashion designers and Bantu tribesmen as woollybacks, united in their tragic non-Scouseness. If you want to be specific though, "woollyback" means those sooty Lancashire textile towns to the east and north of Liverpool. Wigan is the crucible of all things woollyback."

Don't take his word for it though...he's a wool.




he does go on to say Whiston is on the border ( the wrong side :D )

Online Jack the Red

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #34 on: November 10, 2011, 09:17:58 AM »
So if I was born in Sefton General, lived and raised in Netherley for 25 years, but now live in Whiston, what does that make me?

Offline Al Bol

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #35 on: November 10, 2011, 10:35:59 AM »
Do not be fooled by the crafty use of a triple negative.

This specimen is a prime example of a wool in sheep's clothing. Being deliberately obtuse so that you can't see the wool for the trees.

Haha.

Sorry, I'll express it more simply.

I'm a wool. Without any doubt whatsoever.  My wooly credentials are in no way to be doubted.
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Offline only5times

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #36 on: November 10, 2011, 01:23:37 PM »
So if I was born in Sefton General, lived and raised in Netherley for 25 years, but now live in Whiston, what does that make me?
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Online Jack the Red

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2011, 03:04:29 PM »

Offline Andy @ Allerton

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #38 on: November 10, 2011, 05:08:38 PM »
So if I was born in Sefton General, lived and raised in Netherley for 25 years, but now live in Whiston, what does that make me?

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Offline Red_Skippy

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Re: So you think you might not be a wool?
« Reply #39 on: November 12, 2011, 11:11:25 AM »
don't you know that crew cuts and trainers are out again?

Love that song! :)
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