Author Topic: Yes.. i'm a beaut... (Read 1361 times)

hixxstar · « **on:** August 22, 2011, 01:23:22 AM »

A beaut of the highest order......

It's 1 am and i just had to throw stones at the window to get in (knob)
here is the script... said to the missus, I'll be half an hour.... (at 7pm).. got steaming with some lad's... as you do !!
just got home and my keys are inside, next to the phone in the hall way.. $:-\$
FECK.... checked my pockets..... no !
had to throw some stones to the window to get in

(jack Russell going mad).... yes I'm a knob (so my missus says !)
anyway.... i'm in now

...... my keys were by the phone in the hallway...
you ever done this shit ?..... i am walking on egg shells at the mo......

i guess a ride is out of the question ??

And Could He Play · « **Reply #1 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:25:39 AM »

You hardly had to smash the windows to get in, or boot the door off, you threw a few stones at the window, try having to sleep in the garden in the pissing down rain cos you went the kentucky at 6pm and tried to get back in at 7am.

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #2 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:27:59 AM »

Quote from: hixxstar on August 22, 2011, 01:23:22 AM

A beaut of the highest order......
It's 1 am and i just had to throw stones at the window to get in (knob)
here is the script... said to the missus, I'll be half an hour.... (at 7pm).. got steaming with some lad's... as you do !!
just got home and my keys are inside, next to the phone in the hall way.. $:-\$
FECK.... checked my pockets..... no !
had to throw some stones to the window to get in (jack Russell going mad).... yes I'm a knob (so my missus says !)
anyway.... i'm in now ...... my keys were by the phone in the hallway...
you ever done this shit ?..... i am walking on egg shells at the mo......
i guess a ride is out of the question ??

Never a better time than when the missus is a touch ticked off.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #3 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:28:32 AM »

Quote from: Anywhichwayucan on August 22, 2011, 01:27:59 AM

Never a better time than when the missus is a touch ticked off.

Angry sex.

hixxstar · « **Reply #4 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:29:43 AM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 01:25:39 AM

You hardly had to smash the windows to get in, or boot the door off, you threw a few stones at the window, try having to sleep in the garden in the pissing down rain cos you went the kentucky at 6pm and tried to get back in at 7am.

i broke one of the double glazed windows !....... with a coin !.....outside 1 cracked like a spiders web.... wait till 2 moro.... how we will laugh

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #5 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:30:38 AM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 01:28:32 AM

Angry sex.

Nothin' comes close.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #6 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:31:07 AM »

Quote from: hixxstar on August 22, 2011, 01:29:43 AM

i broke one of the double glazed windows !....... with a coin !.....outside 1 cracked like a spiders web.... wait till 2 moro.... how we will laugh

Didnt realise you broke them. You will get down the banks tomorrow.

Terry De Niro · « **Reply #7 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:34:20 AM »

Is this how you ended up with egg on your face?

SMD · « **Reply #8 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:37:12 AM »

No cat flap.

hixxstar · « **Reply #9 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:39:57 AM »

Quote from: Terry De Niro on August 22, 2011, 01:34:20 AM

Is this how you ended up with egg on your face?

Terry mate.... i was hoping for some sympathy ! i love my bitch to the max.. (got her flowers the other day-on a whoopsy) but you lot just want to extend my pain ...

the question was 'has this ever happened to you' ??

And Could He Play · « **Reply #10 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:42:57 AM »

Quote from: hixxstar on August 22, 2011, 01:39:57 AM

Terry mate.... i was hoping for some sympathy ! i love my bitch to the max.. (got her flowers the other day-on a whoopsy) but you lot just want to extend my pain ...

the question was 'has this ever happened to you' ??

you should be upstairs making things right with your bird. worry about Rawk sympathy tomorrow.

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #11 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:43:20 AM »

Quote from: hixxstar on August 22, 2011, 01:39:57 AM

Terry mate.... i was hoping for some sympathy ! i love my bitch to the max.. (got her flowers the other day-on a whoopsy) but you lot just want to extend my pain ...

the question was 'has this ever happened to you' ??

I am honest when I have a lass. If I say I will be back at a certain time, I am back at a certain time and I certainly wouldn't wake her from her slumber. Selfishness all round.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #12 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:43:26 AM »

On another note, its happened to me more times than you can imagine.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #13 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:43:53 AM »

Quote from: Anywhichwayucan on August 22, 2011, 01:43:20 AM

I am honest when I have a lass. If I say I will be back at a certain time, I am back at a certain time and I certainly wouldn't wake her from her slumber. Selfishness all round.

rushyman · « **Reply #14 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:49:04 AM »

A week Friday ago. Went out with the lads sort of out of practice with the drink and preceded to make up for lost time and tried to drink the world.

Got home by taxi ambulance (poor bloke probably called me everything when I got out) Utterly blitzed. Couldnt open the fucking door for love nor money. And I had the keys, I was tapping at the keyhole for 10 minutes

'DAMN' I exploded. Stood up straight but too far and fast for my brain to comprehend and tell my body to stop and went right on my arse on the front lawn. I looked at the night sky Thought I heard 'Pisshead' from through the door, but that couldve been a few people to tell the truth

Woke up in me clothes on the sofa at 6AM. Bit of a mystery how i actually got in

And Could He Play · « **Reply #15 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:50:15 AM »

Quote from: rushyman on August 22, 2011, 01:49:04 AM

A week Friday ago. Went out with the lads sort of out of practice with the drink and preceded to make up for lost time and tried to drink the world.

Got home by taxi ambulance (poor bloke probably called me everything when I got out) Utterly blitzed. Couldnt open the fucking door for love nor money. And I had the keys, I was tapping at the keyhole for 10 minutes

'DAMN' I exploded. Stood up straight but too far and fast for my brain to comprehend and tell my body to stop and went right on my arse on the front lawn. I looked at the night sky Thought I heard 'Pisshead' from through the door, but that couldve been a few people to tell the truth

Woke up in me clothes on the sofa at 6AM. Bit of a mystery how i actually got in

Love those nights.

hixxstar · « **Reply #16 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:50:28 AM »

My jack Russell still loves me...... yeah..

the worst bit was the missus looking down at me through a shattered window as i kinda pointed to the front door.... he he...
we'll laugh about this in years to come........ not

rushyman · « **Reply #17 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:53:06 AM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 01:50:15 AM

Love those nights.

Didnt love the day after I can tell you. Was still pissed during Football Focus!

Id just wobbled down the shops with sunglasses on but all me goin out clothes still sort of blown about my body like Id been in a windtunnel, mustve looked like a vampire

And Could He Play · « **Reply #18 on:** August 22, 2011, 01:56:26 AM »

ha ha, i woke up last sunday morning, after my brothers wedding, i woke up in the house, ripped the tie off and ripped the shirt to pieces trying to get it off, the suit was hired, i remembered having a fight with the suit the next day. Just couldnt get it off. Anyway, i was sent home in a Taxi at 12pm, everyone else partied till 4am. Was gutted the next day. Just woke up, shoes on, pants on ripped shirt and tie next to me, wondering where the fuck i was. i was meant to be staying in the hotel, i woke up in mine.

rushyman · « **Reply #19 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:01:19 AM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 01:56:26 AM

ha ha, i woke up last sunday morning, after my brothers wedding, i woke up in the house, ripped the tie off and ripped the shirt to pieces trying to get it off, the suit was hired, i remembered having a fight with the suit the next day. Just couldnt get it off. Anyway, i was sent home in a Taxi at 12pm, everyone else partied till 4am. Was gutted the next day. Just woke up, shoes on, pants on ripped shirt and tie next to me, wondering where the fuck i was. i was meant to be staying in the hotel, i woke up in mine.

Haha

Great stuff. Keep up the good work

Paragon · « **Reply #20 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:03:04 AM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 01:25:39 AM

You hardly had to smash the windows to get in, or boot the door off, you threw a few stones at the window, try having to sleep in the garden in the pissing down rain cos you went the kentucky at 6pm and tried to get back in at 7am.

Immoral King Brian Blessed · « **Reply #21 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:04:21 AM »

Where were your keys?

hixxstar · « **Reply #22 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:09:00 AM »

God i love my woman... how she put's up with me i don't know ? ..... only been with her 17 years !

you know,are first date i took her on was to Anfield, V arsenal.... Robbie fowler got a hatrick in 5mins...
1st goal .. yeah.. 2nd goal was loud.. 3 rd goal she looked at me and just...... wow.... wow.... beat that....

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/jXHEtpT3UL4?fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/jXHEtpT3UL4?fs=1</a>

rednich85 · « **Reply #23 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:20:55 AM »

Does your missus beat you?

Barneylfc · « **Reply #24 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:28:16 AM »

This has happened to me many times. Only I don't get let in the house.

On a side not, I stupidly had sex with my bird/ex after a small talk. Fucking gutted I let myself do it

hixxstar · « **Reply #25 on:** August 22, 2011, 04:33:07 PM »

Feck....wont be cheap...

bearings went in the washing machine & neighbor smashed into the missus car... Corsa-bad rear end.. yes i'm having a sh!t week..

Andy @ Allerton · « **Reply #26 on:** August 22, 2011, 04:53:21 PM »

It's not a proper night out unless you wake up in bed thinking "How the hell did I get home?!"

AnfieldIron · « **Reply #27 on:** August 22, 2011, 05:07:17 PM »

The opposite for me. Me (now ex) bird used to get in at about 4am and wake me up for a shag.

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #28 on:** August 22, 2011, 05:10:04 PM »

Quote from: AnfieldIron on August 22, 2011, 05:07:17 PM

The opposite for me. Me (now ex) bird used to get in at about 4am and wake me up for a shag.

How very unfortunate.

Ickle Girl · « **Reply #29 on:** August 22, 2011, 05:14:11 PM »

Quote from: AnfieldIron on August 22, 2011, 05:07:17 PM

The opposite for me. Me (now ex) bird used to get in at about 4am and wake me up for a shag.

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #30 on:** August 22, 2011, 05:14:51 PM »

Quote from: Wals Viennetta. on August 22, 2011, 05:14:11 PM

AnfieldIron · « **Reply #31 on:** August 22, 2011, 05:45:51 PM »

Quote from: Wals Viennetta. on August 22, 2011, 05:14:11 PM

And Could He Play · « **Reply #32 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:04:14 PM »

Quote from: Barneylfc on August 22, 2011, 02:28:16 AM

This has happened to me many times. Only I don't get let in the house.

On a side not, I stupidly had sex with my bird/ex after a small talk. Fucking gutted I let myself do it

how do you feel now, pm me.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #33 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:05:19 PM »

Quote from: hixxstar on August 22, 2011, 04:33:07 PM

Feck....wont be cheap...
bearings went in the washing machine & neighbor smashed into the missus car... Corsa-bad rear end.. yes i'm having a sh!t week..

i cant work that out?

And Could He Play · « **Reply #34 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:06:18 PM »

Quote from: Andy@Allerton on August 22, 2011, 04:53:21 PM

It's not a proper night out unless you wake up in bed thinking "How the hell did I get home?!"

100% agree. Or if you roll over in the morning and shit your pants at the site of an absolute monster of a female next to you. Then you know you was pissed.

Ycuzz · « **Reply #35 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:10:45 PM »

Yeah, what the hell are we looking at?

Oh, and being a beaut?

I took the cake this weekend. Excellent party with old friends - I mean a proper seabattle.

Ended up comatose on the bed about 4 in the morning, (we slept in the basement at our friends). Woke up when mrs. Ycuzz came in, in desperate need of a puke. Now the luvverly lady comments I need to put a pair of pants on before running to pee, which she thought I was going to do, so fuck knows how, but got a pair on, started the run, came out in the hall before starting the bazooka. Painted the stairs, hallway and the toilet.

As a bonus; our friends 17year old daughter woke from the ambush of puke and came out to witness the ordeal.

Been fucking years since I've been that embarrassed. Even longer since I've fucking puked after drinking.

I feel awful..

Ycuzz · « **Reply #36 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:11:23 PM »

Quote from: And Could He Play on August 22, 2011, 06:06:18 PM

100% agree. Or if you roll over in the morning and shit your pants at the site of an absolute monster of a female next to you. Then you know you was pissed.

Hah! Never done that tho. Can fill a book with shit I did at uni, but we're not going there..

Anywhichwayucan · « **Reply #37 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:13:06 PM »

Quote from: Ycuzz on August 22, 2011, 06:11:23 PM

Hah! Never done that tho. Can fill a book with shit I did at uni, but we're not going there..

Get goin'.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #38 on:** August 22, 2011, 06:24:14 PM »

Quote from: Anywhichwayucan on August 22, 2011, 06:13:06 PM

Get goin'.

Yeah, were all ears.

Birdontheshirt · « **Reply #39 on:** August 22, 2011, 07:32:38 PM »

Went to Crete for 2 weeks in July. Son & daughter too, but son had to come home after a week as he had job interview. So sorted him a flight back & he said he didn't mind as it was his 21st and he wanted to go out with his mates. Wee bit of concern about what the house might be like when we got back, altho he's a good lad, but needn't have worried as turns out. Night he got back he went clubbing with mates, until half 3 and got a taxi home. He didn't have quite enough money so he got dropped off a couple miles short & walked rest. When he got back he found he'd no keys. And no one was in cos we were all in Greece. So he had to walk 3 miles to nearest relative's house, who in fact wasn't in cos working night shift. Son knew that relative's keys were with next door neighbours so he knocked them up at about 5 am!

Son phoned us in Greece next day to ask if he got a locksmith out, were there any spare keys in house. But in fact all sets with us in Greece. So son had to spend week staying with friends. Rang me up to ask what he should do about clothes as he' d only got what stood up in - as if I could sort him out from Crete. He had to borrow suit from a mate for the interview and beg & borrow all week as he'd no money. He was sat on the doorstep when we got back.

It was a 21st he'll never forget But on the bright side he got the job.