As the clock ticks down to the transfer deadline, all eyes will be on Melwood for potential late signings, movers and shakers at the club. As luck would have it I have an excellent source at the club (that's right, he's in-there-now) who has been keeping me abreast of events. I will you keep updated on his observations; his first few are below.
9.03 am. players arrive for the morning team-meeting. Torres stops to sign some autographs. The mood is subdued amid rumours that the Gaffa is wanted by the old lady. Smiles soon break out when it is explained that the old lady does not refer to an angry Montse and the session will go ahead as scheduled.
9.17 am. Ryan Babel arrives to find the gates shut and the training pitches deserted. Only Torres is there and he is busy with a group of fans. Babel Decides to head home and release a new R&B single. He quickly tweets his agent to express his anger that no one told him training was off.
9.18 am. Ryan Babel recieves 2 points on his license for driving and using a mobile phone
9.24 am. The reserves cautiously come out of hiding, make sure Babel is gone and start to happily kick a ball around.
11.11 am. The rest of the players have gone to the gym to work out. Aquilani is in the pool relaxing. His Aqua-man trunks are very fetching. He considers waxing his chest and asks Dirk for some tips.
11.14 am. The senior players have remained behind for a strategic transfer policy discussion with the management team. The meeting quickly descends into farce as Sammi Lee, Carragher and Gerrard attempt to improve Rafa's pronunciation.
11.25am. A worried Philip Degen, who has been eavesdropping on the group, quickly leaves his post at the keyhole and goes to reception. With no sign of the mysterious fax that the group has been shouting about in sight, he calms down. Perhaps he is safe after all.
12.21 pm. Ryan Babel arrives for lunch in a taxi to find the reserves in full flow. He quickly pulls on his boots, shouting at the taxi driver that he is too good to pay for the trip. He rushes onto the pitch, takes possession of the ball and runs like lightning into the corner.
12.22 pm. Ryan Babel falls over in the corner
12.23 pm. Reserve team training ends.
12.27 pm. Police arrive with an irate taxi driver looking for Ryan Babel. Pepe Reina sorts out the bill and gently admonishes Ryan. Ryan tweets his twitter buddies to tell them that Pepe is a stand-up guy.
12.32 pm. and security are busy tracking down some miscreant who has climbed onto the wall around the training ground and has been shouting abuse at the players ever since. As Phil Brown is dragged away he is heard to shout that none of the Liverpool players would get into his team. As he is stuffed into the back of a police van, Rafa tries to sell him Babel. No joy.
12.34 pm. Torres is still signing autographs. One girl has offered to name her baby after him. Torres is flattered. She then asks if he would help her make that baby. Torres is quite worried. He edges his way into Melwood. Still no sign of Silva, Villa or Quaresma.