Topic: Alcohol Issues

[Mumm-Ra]

I have no idea Mumm Ra. ( dont know your name mate sorry ) I just was so used to drinking with my Dad etc it became ingrained in me. How i got to this mess is beyond me. I have had a drink today, probably more than a lot of ppl will have in a week and i can still type faster than most who are sober. I feel sober, i feel fine i just know that ive had enough to go over the ' road legal ' limit. But i feel far better than i did this morning. I know mine is now a physical addiction and to be honest i think the only way to know you are addicted is to admit it to yourself.

Name is Nick BTW. But yeah it's weird. In some ways it's just a label that you give yourself, in other cases it it obvious and undeniable. In your case of strong physical adiction there's no two ways around it. For other people it's just a mental thing, and whether it causes them a problem. I noted your posts a while ago about your sister who needs a glass of wine each night to unwind. That's me - I absolutely have a dependence on alcohol, and I definitely get the addictive side of it - meaning after I've had one or two I really want more. But I'm pretty good at controlling that urge. In my 20s I wasn't and would often get trolleyed.

I think in some cases it comes down to a specific set of circumstances. One thing I've read with interest is that you lot don't get hangovers. I get terrible ones, that can last two days, and now as a 34 yr old dad of two I thank God for them - because they keep me honest and in that 5-6 drink range where I could 'get the taste' and go silly, the threat of what's coming makes me slow down, have a glass of water, and just wrap it up for the night.

Just my thoughts. This thread is great and has definitely made me think long and hard about booze and how careful you need to be with it.

[Mouth]

Andy, i totally agree mate. Thats my biggest worry as well. Not the fact i am killing myself, the fact that life will be boring without booze. Its all i know and all i have ever known. As i try to keep saying, i dont want to stop drinking, hell no. I just have to. Id love to be a social drinker like so many people. Ive had sorry times due to drink but ive had some fucking smashing times on it and some of the stories are epic. I say this as i sit here shaking lol.

Alcoholism is no laughing matter but i need to laugh to take the edge off it. I have no idea how to get to enjoy life without booze, i know that will be a massive hurdle for me as its been at the forefront of my life for so long. But, ive done it before and seemed to cope. Ok i didnt have too much shit going on etc but i still was happy. I think ill try Heroin...... ( jk )

Try doing stand up.

it baffles me though, i'm trying to think of someone i know that doesnt actually drink, besides my ex. I cant think of anyone, even my bird likes a drink, not now, only cos she can't.

I never touch the stuff, but then I'm a boring c*nt.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Hello Nick. Welcome , even though you have been here a while Also TW's name is Lister. Thats what we shall call him on this forum. So welcome Lister as well.

[And Could He Play]

Try doing stand up.
I never touch the stuff, but then I'm a boring c*nt.

you don't drink? i didnt know that, then again i just assume everyone does.

[Billy The Kid.]

Not the fact i am killing myself, the fact that life will be boring without booze.

How would you know what life is like without booze?

Let alone be in a position to predict that it will be boring? Its not as if you've actually ever tried it now is it?

I used to think that too, until I actually tried sobriety. Turned out I was wrong

My life is pretty far from boring these days as it turns out.

I play football, I fish, I golf, I kayak, I kite surf, I gig around town

Now compare that to sitting in my bedroom with a mound of empty cans around my feet, feeling sorry for myself, and drinking myself to oblivion

10 points if you can spot which life is actually the boring one

[Mouth]

you don't drink? i didnt know that, then again i just assume everyone does.

Nope, I can and have done, but its not something that ever really held much interest for me or that I needed in order to enjoy myself. These days for medical reasons I dont, but since I never really did it much anyway it wasnt much of a stretch to just not bother at all. I suppose to a degree I'm a bit of a control freak and dont like to lose it so much, I'm such a twat anyway, alcohol just serves to make me worse than I am already, best for all concerned if I avoid it really.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

I have actually spent 3 1/2 years without touching one drop of alcohol. I do know what its like. I just know its different this time.

[Mumm-Ra]

I have actually spent 3 1/2 years without touching one drop of alcohol. I do know what its like. I just know its different this time.

What did you do with your days then? Rode your bike a lot more I would presume?

[And Could He Play]

doing gigs in bars must be tough mate.

i do work for loads of bars/clubs in town, that can be tricky.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

What did you do with your days then? Rode your bike a lot more I would presume?

I cant remember to be honest Nick. I wish i did.

[Billy The Kid.]

doing gigs in bars must be tough mate.

i do work for loads of bars/clubs in town, that can be tricky.

Strangely enough, I don't mind gigging in bars. I just enjoy playing music, regardless of where it is. I just go into another one of my safe zones

The trick is to just fuck off pronto after the gig is over

Carl, I do hope you embrace sobriety whole heartedly this time. And try not to look at it as a life of boredom, because its actually not

Its a 'new' life. Its there waiting for you mate if you really want to change. Try and hold onto it this time lad. Really do

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Ill do my best. I cant say ill beat it as i dont know, what i do know is ill try my hardest. Yes, its a new start, just going to be weird. Ive things in place to help after detox and plans etc. Ive got track days planned , guitar to get back into in a serious way etc. Exercise is difficult for me as my knees are a bit knackered and cant take too much abuse. Trying to get my knee down in jeans on the bike dont help I do have things i want to do, but i have to be off the booze first. Still awaiting test results about my insides etc. Ive not heard owt so cant be too bad ( dont take that comment the wrong way ) . When i hear ill let u know.

Its got to a point where things on my adonis-like body are refusing to work properly and its pissing me off. I wish i could remember what it was like when i was tee-total before. I remember being able to sleep properly and as soon as my eyes opened i was out of bed in a flash, in the bathroom to wash, shave, brush my beautiful white pearlers, squeeze out a cheeky poo and go get laid. Now its Uhhgggggggggg another day has graced me with its presence, fuck off. Time to change that i reckon. It sounds harsh but im glad my Dad isnt here to see the state im in as he would bash my fucking balls in. Then again, they dont work now either so no great loss

I need to get back to 6-8 hrs of guitar a day, get me a pet to argue with , start cooking PROPER food. Im eating better now but i mean ' cook ' food as opposed to lobbing shit in water,boiling it and smashing a jar of Tabasco over its head. I might try and find another hobby. I used to like knitting but thats a bit poncy now, i like making models ( fnarr fnarr ) and riding me bike. I need to find something creative to try. I dont watch many films until im in bed, even then i flick through all the gory parts till i get to the gratuitous sex scene and fire off a few knuckle children then go to sleep, so im no film buff. I do like to be active with my hands, stop sniggering at the back, so something i can do with them that has an end result would be ideal.

Morning ramble over, this is your captain speaking, thank you for flying SHF airlines and i hope you enjoyed your flight. The weather is 31 degrees with a light breeze. As you alight from the aircraft please take care on the walkway as you make your way to the terminal. Have a lovely holiday and hope to see you on the return flight back to my little world. Now get the fuck off my plane, the bars open and the stewardesses are as fit as fook.

Carl

[SamAteTheRedAcid]

Morning ramble over, this is your captain speaking, thank you for flying SHF airlines and i hope you enjoyed your flight. The weather is 31 degrees with a light breeze. As you alight from the aircraft please take care on the walkway as you make your way to the terminal. Have a lovely holiday and hope to see you on the return flight back to my little world. Now get the fuck off my plane, the bars open and the stewardesses are as fit as fook.

 

Based on the amount of times you see pilots in the papers arrested for boozing I think you'd fit right in 

Love your posts. Great writer. There's one for the jack of all trades thread SHF - you've an excellent command of language and a great sense of humour to boot.

[Mumm-Ra]

I do like to be active with my hands, stop sniggering at the back, so something i can do with them that has an end result would be ideal.

How about a bit of woodworking (again, no laughing at the back). I'm just getting into it a bit myself and it's a great little hobby. Made a picnic table for the kids out of scrap wood lying around (any splinters they get are just a life lesson), also a little window-box veggie planter thing. Only downside is that it would probably cost you a couple of hundred quid to get some tools to start off. Get some cheap second-hand stuff though and you're away.

You could even potentially make a few quid out of it, post flyers on the supermarket wall or in the local paper: Rugged biker available to build picnic tables and wendy houses. Lonely MILFS call Carl at *insert phone number*

Seriously though it's not a bad idea. Very rewarding to actually build something

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

I dont have the space for that mate. I live in a bedsit/flat with no garage or shed. Christ, imagine me with a Jigsaw. There will will be no more cats around. Hey, thats an idea, i could make cat coffins. I kill the cats then sell the coffins. That a no brainer

Seriously, i just dont have the space. Got the money, not got the space. I was thinking of that Rob Ross style of painting with oils? Simpleish once you get the hang of it, and i like his microphone head and dulcit tones. Must admit when i used to watch him in the mornings i always said id love to do one of those.

[And Could He Play]

I dont have the space for that mate. I live in a bedsit/flat with no garage or shed. Christ, imagine me with a Jigsaw. There will will be no more cats around. Hey, thats an idea, i could make cat coffins. I kill the cats then sell the coffins. That a no brainer

Seriously, i just dont have the space. Got the money, not got the space. I was thinking of that Rob Ross style of painting with oils? Simpleish once you get the hang of it, and i like his microphone head and dulcit tones. Must admit when i used to watch him in the mornings i always said id love to do one of those.

go all ghost on us Carl,



Pottery.

Had 2 pints in the sun today, home now, empty house, no more ale. Fail or win?

[AndyInVA]

go all ghost on us Carl,



Pottery.

hahhahahhahhahhahaa

[Bennekov]

I've been away from here for the past 3 weeks more or less due to a serious attack of gout / podagra. Anyone suffer from that? It is by far the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Imagine sticking your big toe into a vise and turning it until you can't turn no more. Then turn it another 10 times. That's about as painful as it is ALL the time during the attack. I haven't had a good nights sleep in that period. Went to the doc and got some results from some blood tests. Nothing wrong with me so he suggested I could do with shedding 15-20 kilos. Cheeky bastard... Ah well he may be right.

But I just wanted to pop in. I've decided to leave alcohol alone until I've lost all the weight I need to lose. Make note of this fellas: I sell beer for a living. Not going to be easy but I need to lose these kilos asap to avoid getting this again. Having experienced this I'm convinced giving birth to children is a walk in the park...

[And Could He Play]

be tough that Thomas, with selling the stuff, big test.

[Bennekov]

be tough that Thomas, with selling the stuff, big test.

It is mate... Everyday I come home to kegs that haven't been finished by the peeps who rent my cooling equipment and I have to enjoy a glass of cold water. No sugar stuff for me  - I'm trying to lose weight. It's a bugger but I'll manage. I'll do anything to never experience that pain again!

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Um, spare beer you say mate...............

[Bennekov]

Um, spare beer you say mate...............

Yeah. People rent beer cooling equipment and buy beer from me for their parties etc. Then when it's returned not all kegs are empty. It's like heaven sometimes. In my most busy periods in the summer time I can easily have 6-8 different beers to choose from if I want to and who wouldn't want a cold one after a long hard days work? But those days are over. i even told a good friend that i won't be drinking at his 40th birthday party in a few weeks. At first he thought I was joking but he soon realised I wasn't taking the piss. He fully understands me though...

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Whats yer address mate

Its good that you are knocking it on the head though. Im not a fan of pain to be honest and that sounds painful.

[Bennekov]

Whats yer address mate

Its good that you are knocking it on the head though. Im not a fan of pain to be honest and that sounds painful.

Wouldn't you like to know, huh? How are you doing both of you? Any news on the tests Carl? Paul, still staying sober?

[And Could He Play]

i actually had 3 beers today, then went home. im fine. so my quote is bollocks, but i really have this shit under control.

[Johnnyboy1973]

Delusion

[SamAteTheRedAcid]

Delusion

Have to agree with this ACHP.

You'll be kidding yourself if you think you can handle it.

[Bennekov]

i actually had 3 beers today, then went home. im fine. so my quote is bollocks, but i really have this shit under control.

Don't go there, Paul. You've been there one too many times. Do the right thing ffs and leave the poison alone!

[And Could He Play]

Delusion

its really not, went to a beer garden, 3 beers, home now sober as a judge. she isnt here. surely i'd be on it now?

[Rusty]

Had 2 pints in the sun today, home now, empty house, no more ale. Fail or win?

Put quite simply, if it ends up in you getting back into your old habits (being brutally honest I think it will eventually - whether that is in 7 days or 7 months) then it will be a massive fail. The fact that you're drinking and asking us for acceptance is not a good sign IMHO.

You mentioned earlier that you have mates who drink more than you but aren't alcoholics, the trouble for YOU is that multiple times you have tried to "just keep it to a few drinks once in a while", yet for whatever reason it almost invariably ends with you getting wrecked and having some kind of massive drama. So as far as I see it you have a choice, either kick the grog completely and for good, or go back to your old habits and all the shit that comes with them. Others who have been through it may see it differently but that's how it comes across to me, from what you've posted on here.

[And Could He Play]

i know what your saying about the drama, but even tonight showed me im fine, i could have easily went and bought a crate of beer and sit here alone driking, but got home had a cup of tea and watched tv.

[Johnnyboy1973]

its really not, went to a beer garden, 3 beers, home now sober as a judge. she isnt here. surely i'd be on it now?

Honestly Paul, I can't be arsed anymore.

You've read numerous sotries from those who have been around the block, you've had countless advice and time from those who have done this and at the end of all of this you stand there, in front of me and tell me what?

"It's alright J, I can handle it. It's moderation"

Frankly, fuck off.

Now, in a couple of months, I'd say three at a push, when you come back here in to tell us how shes left you and this time it's for real, do me a favour and make it short and sweet, 'cos it's just so boring.

[And Could He Play]

fair enough.

[Tepid water]

fair enough.

Yeah you handelled it tonight.....

Tomorrow night, next week, next month?

You KNOW that at some point it will get out of hand and you will come home steaming...

She will walk out and you will be devastated

[Billy The Kid.]

its really not, went to a beer garden, 3 beers, home now sober as a judge. she isnt here. surely i'd be on it now?

Done it a hundred times myself mate. Tried convincing myself I had it under control

That's the cuntishness of addiction. It tricks you into thinking you're on top, when in actual fact, you're really not

Sure, you might be able to cull it a few times, have your few beer garden drinks and head home and that, but it WILL drag you back in eventually

Paul mate, don't let your "3 beers and home sober" story fool you. Go again tomorrow and you'll have 4. Go Saturday and you'll have 5

And before you can say "book me a ticket to Alicante", you'll be right back at square one mate

That's what addiction does mate. Johnny is right, his words may sound harsh, but fuck it, honesty has always been the policy of this thread

Johnny is spot on Paul.

[And Could He Play]

i know he is, i have no problem with J or what he said, he knows i like him and respect him. I just like to think that i have had like today, 3 beers, then the last time what like almost a month ago, then a month before that, surely thats enough? 3 times in 3 months


i know im trying to convince myself but thats how i see it right now.

[Mouth]

i actually had 3 beers today, then went home. im fine. so my quote is bollocks, but i really have this shit under control.

Dont you see that if you had it under control you wouldnt of had one, you would of controlled it and not had any.

Your control here is an illusion, it has control of you.

[Johnnyboy1973]

I just like to think that i have had like today, 3 beers, then the last time what like almost a month ago, then a month before that, surely thats enough?

Yeah yeah, it's rosy, it's all good. I mean lets look back to the last time you had a drink

no need to worry im pissed here shes gone.

A whopping three and half weeks since your missus walked out on you.

I wont quote all the self pity shite or the i'm off it for good shite either. You know, if you had walked in here and said,

"Fucks sake, I fell off today but I'm back on tomorrow"

But, you come in, trying to sell me these addict excuses. Behave.

Wake up! Snap out of it you alchy.

[Billy The Kid.]

Dont you see that if you had it under control you wouldnt of had one, you would of controlled it and not had any.

Your control here is an illusion, it has control of you.

In a nutshell ^^^

i know im trying to convince myself but thats how i see it right now.

Yeah, and the reason you see it that way now is because the addict in you is telling you that

I've posed this question to you before, and I'm going to pose it again:

When the fuck is the penny going to drop for you here? Seriously now, when?

[Billy The Kid.]

I also remember Andy posting something very poignant in here a few months back

He said he was off it (I think 3) years, and that every day was still a challenge for him

Paul is giving himself a pat on the back and rewarding himself with 3 beers after 3 fucking weeks?

Paul, snap the fuck out of it mate, seriously.