Topic: Alcohol Issues

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

I dont want to see him upset. I know if i ask him he will struggle and get upset. Yes im a wanker for not pulling myself together and all that. I know this. I dont want to add more problems onto him. He knows im an alcoholic, but we have never spoken about it. The same as i never asked my Mum and Dad. Just seemed a taboo area.

[rusty-la]

How are you doing tonight Carl, are you on it mate?

[2u4rez/7]

I dont want to see him upset.

Fair enough. Sometimes though Carl there is no growth without pain. It might upset you to see him upset but then again both of you might gain so much by going through that process. It's worth thinking about. I don't think I am exaggerating when I say here that the Son might save the Father.....

[Tepid water]

No i didnt, it was a way of life. I never really understood alcoholism until i was an alcoholic. My Dad drank, i just didnt get it. He said he drank to walk straight. Now i understand what he meant.

And Jim, i cant ask my son that. I just cant.

If you didn't understand it, does your son?

[And Could He Play]

How are you doing tonight Carl, are you on it mate?

yeah he is, he needs to get rid of that poison, he's better than that

[And Could He Play]

Fair enough. Sometimes though Carl there is no growth without pain. It might upset you to see him upset but then again both of you might gain so much by going through that process. It's worth thinking about. I don't think I am exaggerating when I say here that the Son might save the Father.....

fucking spot on.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

How are you doing tonight Carl, are you on it mate?

Not ' on it ' but yes im drinking.

I dont think anyone, apart from an alcoholic understands it to be honest.

[And Could He Play]

Not ' on it ' but yes im drinking.

I dont think anyone, apart from an alcoholic understands it to be honest.

i understand, you need to realise enough is enough how much more can you take before its over

[Johnnyboy1973]

i understand, you need to realise enough is enough how much more can you take before its over

Bit rich innit?

The one thing I had forgotten about being a pisshead is, it just doesn't matter how many people tell you until you are ready.

[And Could He Play]

Bit rich innit?

The one thing I had forgotten about being a pisshead is, it just doesn't matter how many people tell you until you are ready.

im ready, im done, test me, i am different than others, it takes other things to stop me, im ready, im finished, i hate it, i wont drink again, quote me on that mate, and for the record i really think your a legend with your advice

[Tepid water]

im ready, im done, test me, i am different than others, it takes other things to stop me, im ready, im finished, i hate it, i wont drink again, quote me on that mate, and for the record i really think your a legend with your advice

That's a really moving post....

[Johnnyboy1973]

im ready, im done, test me, i am different than others, it takes other things to stop me, im ready, im finished, i hate it, i wont drink again, quote me on that mate,

Sigged.

Unless the motivation is for yourself and you come to the conclusion that you want to stop for yourself primarily, then you stand a fighting chance.

[rusty-la]

Not ' on it ' but yes im drinking.

I dont think anyone, apart from an alcoholic understands it to be honest.

Keep in touch with us Carl, don't over do it tonight mate, keep talking.

I understand your reticence to discuss things with your son, but i think Jims comments are worth further consideration. Kids are pretty much non judgmental, your his Dad, he loves you. You may find it a difficult but ultimately fulfilling conversation.

Just my thoughts. 

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Ive not lied to you guys. Ive lied to myself i grant you that, but do i want my son involved in all this.

[And Could He Play]

That's a really moving post....

Sigged.

Unless the motivation is for yourself and you come to the conclusion that you want to stop for yourself primarily, then you stand a fighting chance.

its for me, i dont want it no more, it disgusts me, i just want to make my bird happy now, im not going to do what i done with the ex, really not.

[Crimson_Tank]

Carl, I believe that you can do it tonight, it will not be easy but it is necessary.

Paul, I hope that you can stick with it mate.

[Tepid water]

Ive not lied to you guys. Ive lied to myself i grant you that, but do i want my son involved in all this.

He is involved, he's your son, he cant not be.

Him understanding can't make it any worse, it might just make it better...

[Jonathan Hall ☆☆☆☆☆]

He is involved, he's your son, he cant not be.

Him understanding can't make it any worse, it might just make it better...

This

[Bennekov]

Haven't been too much around lately so apologies for just "walking in and starting talking"...

Billy what a brave post. Well done mate! Respectful but at the same time brutally honest.

Carl mate..... It's time for you to get over the "Can't" thing and face some music. Of course you can ask your son "that" question - of course you can ask your family why they treat you like they do. I'm thinking you're afraid of the answers? I know it's the only family you have left but the way you drink right now it might be the right time to get these issues sorted. Who knows when your body says stop? Judging from what you tell us the doc tells you you're deffo on dangerous territory now, aren't you?

No matter how hard the things/questions may seem to be I tell you what - it'll be better afterwards. You know what I'm referring to so I'm not just acting like a wise man. Have a think about what Jim says... "Why not?"

As for the book - if you want that to happen you know damn well what you have to do, right? Start stopping and start writing.

Enough of the kicking in the groin now... We're here Carl for you, we all want you to succeed but you have to want it mate. Only you can do that for you...

[Bennekov]

Forgot to say Well in Paul!

I've sigged you post too and I'm going to hold you to it.

[Billy The Kid.]

Carl I can understand your reservations about turning to your son, but as Jim said, it might help you both to grow and progress. Who knows, it may even become the bedrock that cements your relationship going forward. I have 5 sisters, and I've never really been close to any of them. Not because I dislike any of them or because I don't get on with any of them, just because I'm the youngest boy of my family. I don't really have much in common with any of them. They're into talking about diets, hair styles, cooking, gardening, fashion, and what not. I just like footy, shower masturbation and oral sex, so we don't really have much common ground. It's not as if I can say "hey Sis, listen to this, I tried to lick the box of my boss". It would probably be about as well received as Gary Glitter taking a dip in the kids pool at Butlins

But my point is this. They are still my kin. When I needed them, they came through for me big time. Despite the fact that I was never close to them, none of the 5 of them ever turned their back on me. That's the beauty about family. You can forge strong bonds with mates, but family bonds are different. I'm sure that despite the current wedge between you and your siblings, behind it all they still love you. I'm also pretty sure that if they saw you making a conscious effort to help yourself then they would oar in behind you. Same goes for your son. You're his Dad. I'm sure he loves you. Reach out to that love if you can lad. Bit by bit, if you show you're at least willing to help yourself, then I doubt that they would ever turn their back on you

[Mr Dilkington]

Very rarely post in this thread, but thought I'd share a little something from earlier on today that I found very interesting.

I was sitting speaking to a mate of mine who had been on the drink all day. By the time I saw him he was fairly fucked. I stood and spoke to a few others as my mate sat at the bar with his head in his hands. He kept saying 'I feel like shit' over and over. He looked like shit too by the way. So then someone asked him if he wanted a dram - Inevitably his answer was yes. He looked up at me and said I don't even want it. That got me thinking.

So whilst he sat and stared into a glass of poison, I turned to my other mate and asked him a question.

"When you stop enjoying having a drink and it actually makes you feel worse, why carry on?"

He couldn't answer me.

I continued to probe him about it though. I asked if it was to prove a point. I asked if it was pride.

After a lot of annoyance, he finally came up with his answer.

"For a bit of crack."

And that in one small conversation (to me) summed up the absolute idiocy and pitfalls of alcohol.

[AndyInVA]

Mr DK.  Welcome to the thread but your post is very superficial. Just because your friend could not explain beyond 'it's for the crack' doesn't mean we in this thread can't.

The regular alcoholic posters in this thread have all explained why we do it and frankly it helps us. But ultimately, once you are a full on dependant alcohol it's hard to stop, regardless of how much sense it makes or how stupid it is.

[Mr Dilkington]

Ah I forgot to add the caveat of 'except alcoholics'. Alcoholics do it, not for the crack but because they have an illness. It really is as simple as that. I know, because I've lived with one my whole life.

But to the average man who doesn't have an alcohol problem, there really is no meaning or reason to it.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

I appreciate the comments and posts guys and im not ignoring them. Well, i spose i am but not cos i think " fuck you ".  I know you are trying to help and yes, apart from CADS and arranging detox i have not done anything else apart from getting basic meds. I do try to be as honest as i can with you all as best i can.

[And Could He Play]

so today carl, are you on it?


cheers for the support guys, quote me as much as you want. That part of my life is over.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

No mate. Im not. Have to head to town for a few bits instead.

[And Could He Play]

No mate. Im not. Have to head to town for a few bits instead.

thats better, keep yourself busy.

[AndyInVA]

Hey Dr. Carl,

I hadnt been in here for a few days before last night.

Thread was started Oct 6, 2009 and is now almost 170 pages.

Well in mate for starting a hugely succesful and beneficial thread to a lot of people.

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

Hey Dr. Carl,

I hadnt been in here for a few days before last night.

Thread was started Oct 6, 2009 and is now almost 170 pages.

Well in mate for starting a hugely succesful and beneficial thread to a lot of people.

Should it be successful? I know its saved my life once, but should there be a need for a thread like this nowadays. Obviously its helped people and im not proud of this thread to be honest. I hope it has helped others as its grown to be a decent place for people to come and talk/vent/ask etc. Shame its used so much in a way. I know there are ppl out there on the cusp of coming in here and i hope they dont, but i hope they do if that makes sense. Its a well moderated and respected thread which is nice as i think alcoholism is a very misunderstood topic/disease. I just never expected it to grow like this lol.

[AndyInVA]

this is the only envirnment I have where I feel people actually understand what im talkng about

that massive self destructive tendecency of booze

but you like it and its fun

up to point anyway

[Sr Harvest Fiields]

I dont know how i feel Andy actually. Im contradicting myself all the time and giving advice, ignoring advice as well. But i have found that i can open up in here and say stuff id never say face to face. Its weird.

[AndyInVA]

no shit, who the fuck would say half of this face to face

its a pretty valuable environment

i dont think i would open up this much to a therapist

[And Could He Play]

without this thread and you guys i wouldnt be here, simple as that.

i owe my life to it. there is nothing i can do to repay that

[Mouth]

without this thread and you guys i wouldnt be here, simple as that.

i owe my life to it. there is nothing i can do to repay that

Gimmie £50 and we'll call it even.

[And Could He Play]

Gimmie £50 and we'll call it even.

I'll give you it in 10p peices.

[Rusty]

without this thread and you guys i wouldnt be here, simple as that.

i owe my life to it. there is nothing i can do to repay that

Gimmie £50 and we'll call it even.

Buy me a Land Rover and some flights to Spain and we'll call it even

[And Could He Play]

Buy me a Land Rover and some flights to Spain and we'll call it even

fucking hell thats a big raise on mouths £50

ill never live that land rover shout down, i didnt even buy her it ha ha

[mrsphilthefish]

without this thread and you guys i wouldnt be here, simple as that.

i owe my life to it. there is nothing i can do to repay that

Listening and taking on board all the advice people have taken the time to give you will be repayment enough.

You need to think of you 1st and the rest will fall nicely into place.

After all the shite I went through with my mum and dad when I was growing up, I still love my mum and dad. But, YOU can do something now so your unborn baby can have a great childhood and will look back on it with pleasure.
We've got 4 kids and I wouldn't want to miss a single thing in their lives.......YOU won't want to miss a single thing in your unborn baby's life.

[Billy The Kid.]

Its strange in a way, because the first thing I do when I log into RAWK is stop off in here. I don't post in here everyday, but I do pop in. And the reason I pop in is to see how everyone is doing. I never met any of you c*nts, but in a strange way I do have a genuine concern for all of you. I'll know if Carl has been to the doctors, or if Pauls had a row with the bird, so I'll pop in the next day to see how they are, see if they're ok and that. Give them a gee up or a rollicking, depending on what they deserve for their latest escapades

I still remember my first time posting in this thread. And I remember the first post in response to my admission came from Jim (24/7). Needless to say it was a welcoming one that gave me a bit of hope. I can barely remember where the fuck I was on these boards 10 posts ago, or what I was posting, or who I was arguing with, but I remember Jim's post clear as fucking day, and I'll never forget it. And that essentially defines this thread for me