Author Topic: Tales Of A Taxi Driver  (Read 9775 times)

Offline SmithdownAndy

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Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« on: June 15, 2008, 12:20:11 PM »
I'm a taxi driver in Liverpool and new to the job, just wondering if any other taxi drivers have stories to tell or anyone had a funny story themselves in a cab. YNWA
Rest In Eternal Peace Ray (shanklyboy) - Gone but will NEVER be forgotten

Offline PeterJM

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2008, 01:29:13 PM »
I'm a taxi driver in Liverpool and new to the job, just wondering if any other taxi drivers have stories to tell or anyone had a funny story themselves in a cab. YNWA
Are you on the hackneys or private hires?

Offline Henry Chinaski

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2008, 02:40:23 PM »
This one day right, I killed this pimp and saved his kid-prostitute. I got shot several times by the pimp and some of his guards, ended up in the hospital, but all in all, it turned out alright. And now this young girl is back with her family.
I was in a psychotic mood back then, mind. Shaved my hair, only to leave a mohawk and shit. Talking to myself in the mirror. You should've seen it.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 02:41:59 PM by Henry Chinaski »
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Offline MBE

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2008, 03:30:55 PM »
I worked in this one place that was run by a very short, stocky guy called Louis.  We had this mechanic working there who always wore very clean white overalls and didn't speak much English and later on, we heard REM wrote a song about him.  There was another lad there who was trying to make it as an actor and an Italian kid who was a bit of a handy boxer.  Ahhhh....great days. 
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

Offline DowntheLine1981

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2008, 03:33:16 PM »
I'm a taxi driver in Liverpool and new to the job, just wondering if any other taxi drivers have stories to tell or anyone had a funny story themselves in a cab. YNWA

My da was a hackney cab driver for 30 years in Liverpool working nights (6pm to 6am 6 days a week).  It was a hard graft and he REALLY hated it, but he had a few good stories, ranging from people injecting in the back of his cab, shitting themselves and crying over it to picking up celebs.

He did used to talk about one time he picked up some random guy outside the Adelphi in town only for him to ask for 'Newcastle City Centre'.  Dad thought he was taking the piss, but sure enough, after they negotiated the fee and he paid upfront (300 in the 80's so about 655 now) he drove to Newcastle and dropped him off.  The guy was a businessman, and had urgent need to be at a last minute meeting in the morning, so he had to get a cab.  One of the few times me da enjoyed driving the taxi, as he only had one customer that night!
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Offline tinman1

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2008, 11:52:54 PM »
Just dont mention Delta Taxis to any Hackney Drivers or Hackney Drivers to Delta Drivers!!

Best advice i can give and im not even a cab driver but know some of both and they really are at each others throats at the moment in Liverpool
Well to be honest with you, Ive not got a lot to say about David Haye apart from hes not a proper fighter, is he? Hes basically a bit of a gay fighter as Ive said. Nothing against gays, but if there was ever a gay fighter David Haye would be one. He showed nothing! He had all the talk beforehand and he went in there and acted like a bitch!"

Offline Bootle

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2008, 01:59:37 AM »
Its nowt to do with me but I read this cabbies blog:

http://seftontaxis.wordpress.com/

He drives a black cab in Sefton, the stories are distressing and funny in equal measure.

Offline SmithdownAndy

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2008, 02:26:40 AM »
Thanks all for the input, i've been working tonight and asked a few cabbies for their thoughts on this and here's a few,

1 - Friday before xmas can't get a cab anywhere for love nor money, massive queue at central station and a cab pulls up next to a little old woman with a load of shopping, cabbie gets out to help her into the cab with said shopping only to be hit round the head and be told f**k off you thug i've been stood in this queue for 45 mins, to which he replied "love i'm the cab driver I was just helping you into the cab"

2 - A woman with 2 kids in tow flags a cab, gets in and the driver says where to love, she replies me mums please, now where good but not that good

3 - Scottie Road New Years Eve, cabbie gets flagged by 3 fellas worse for the wear, they get in and fella sats 3 drops mate and the drunken one is last, first drop is Prince Edward St, so he goes there and drops him off. 2nd fella says Everton Brow then take him to the Bullring, (obviously a while ago) so he drops the 2nd fella on Everton Brow and heads off to the Bullring when he gets there he tries to wake up the 3rd fella who was obviously pissed only to find out it was a manequin dressed up in a suit, what a con they deserved a medal and the cabbie still has it in his cab to this day lmao


will post more as I journey along thid road and fair play to the poster who's al fella was a cabbie for 30 years he must of seen a hell of a lot
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Offline gazzalfc

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2008, 01:04:40 PM »
Been busy?

What time you on till?

:D
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Offline MBE

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2008, 01:17:24 PM »
Here's a proper one then but it's not about Liverpool.

My brother in law lives in Burnley.  Anyway, he went on a stag-do and the first stop was York races where he won over 400 on the nags.  Then they go to Newcastle where the driver tells them, no nonsense, because of the distance back to Burnley, the coach is going to leave at TEN PAST TWO and not a minute later.  Bob (the BIL) gets mullered and is too blotto to see his own watch but remembers the coach driver's words so he comes out of this night club on the Bigg Market looking for it.  He can't see it anywhere and presumes he's missed it but no worries, he's got over 350 still on him so he gets in to a taxi.  "Burnley please mate" he says as he gets in and the driver drives off! 

Bob falls asleep and a short time later, the driver is shaking him awake.  "We're here mate, where exactly do you want dropping?"  Bob looks out bleary eyed and doesn't recognise the area at all.  Bear in mind Burnley's not that big so he knows it like the back of his hand.  "Where are we?" he asks the taxi driver.  "Where you wanted to go....BIRTLEY"!!!!  There's a district of Gateshead called Birtley and of course the driver wouldn't have ever agreed to take him on a 300+ mile trip at that time of night so he assumed he'd said there! 

Bob goes, "I don't want to be in Birtley, I want to be in Burnley" and the driver says, "I'm not taking you to Burnley at this time of night" so he took him back to Earl Grey's monument where he'd picked him up from! 
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

Offline gadair

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2008, 03:02:00 PM »
Been busy?

What time you on till?

:D

i only cum on this to type that

Offline Roberts LFC

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2008, 04:40:51 PM »
My Cousin works on them.
This one time he picked this drunken fella up who was sluring his words in the backseat, my cousin said, 'Left or Right here mate?', fella says, 'Right' so my cousin turns Right and the fella says, 'I said fucking left', so after a brief exchange of words my Cousin goes back around the block saying he will stop the meter and go back around the block, so my cousin takes a Left and the fella says, 'I SAID RIGGGHHHTTT!', so my cousin says to him, 'If you dont know where your going mate how am I supposed to know'.
Next thing the fella leaps up from the backseat and gets a grip of my Cousin by the neck, in the end my Cousin got him in a headlock and drove him one handed to Copplehouse Lane Police Station where the drunk started mouthing off at the Police Officer.
Police Officer said to my Cousin, 'Knock the Shit out of him if you want mate we wont do anything', Cousin just drove off.


Another time he picked up a drunken man by the Fantail and about a minute into the journey to Tower Hill my Cousin just smelt something and seen this fella with his hand over his arse and a little farting noise.
About 20 seconds later the backseat was covered in Shit.
My Cousin slammed on and said, 'I want 40 Quid now to get the car cleaned and 3.50(dont know if thats the exact figure) for the fare'.
Fella puts his hand in his Decimated with Shit Trouser Pocket and says in a drunken slur, 'Ive only got 1.20'..To which my Cousin ripped the coat off the mans back, scooped the shit up with it off the seats and crowned the fella right on the top of his head with his own shit and then opened the cab door and booted him out.  Fella was just staggering around the streets of Tower Hill like a Brown Version of Swamp Thing covered in Shit from head to toe.
Cousin was fuming, he laughs now like :D

Offline In Fowler We Trust

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2008, 04:58:24 PM »
i only cum on this to type that

ditto
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Offline LFC on tour

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2008, 11:43:04 PM »
Just dont mention Delta Taxis to any Hackney Drivers or Hackney Drivers to Delta Drivers!!

Best advice i can give and im not even a cab driver but know some of both and they really are at each others throats at the moment in Liverpool
Why?

Googl'ed it.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2008, 11:45:37 PM by LFC on tour »

Offline wickolfc

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2008, 11:46:06 PM »
Roberts i always like reading your stories, they're interesting. ;D

Offline wickolfc

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #15 on: June 18, 2008, 11:47:09 PM »

Offline LFC on tour

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2008, 12:03:40 AM »
Tell me tell me :P
Its boring as fuck. I was thinking something like the fight scene in Anchorman. But its just cause Delta are nicking all the fares by operating from sefton but parking up and taking liverpool fares.

Offline gerrardspetal

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2008, 12:04:19 AM »
Been busy?

What time you on till?

:D


;D


I wonder how many times they hear that a day :lmao

My dad used to be a taxi driver.  Not in Liverpool though so can't help you :)

Good luck !!
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Offline wickolfc

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2008, 12:11:28 AM »
Its boring as fuck. I was thinking something like the fight scene in Anchorman. But its just cause Delta are nicking all the fares by operating from sefton but parking up and taking liverpool fares.
Aww thought it'd be something good. :(

Offline StevenLFC

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2008, 12:29:04 AM »
Aww thought it'd be something good. :(

If you want to read something good, I hear the Feedback board is nice this time of year.

Offline jason42

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2008, 12:29:41 AM »
A few years back through work I was able to get 4 derby tickets. Only problem was it was at woodison. 4 of us plan to make the trip when at the last moment 2 drop out so there's just me and my blue nose mate. We agree that we will sell the tickets outside the ground.

So we drive up to Liverpool and park near the station and hail a cab to take us up to the game. We start chatting with the cabbie and ask him where would be a good place to shift the spares. We only picked a taxi with a driver who knew fuck all about football (might have been a cockney ;)). As we are going up a narrow street another cab stops alongside us. Both drivers start chatting and ours mentions the spare tickets. 2nd driver asks my mate how much he wants for the tickets. My mate says "They are 20 tickets. We would like to cover our petrol costs so we will sell them for 30 each" "Fuck Off you blue nosed bastard!!!" was the cabbie's reply.

Ended up selling them for 30 each outside the ground.
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Offline oddball

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #21 on: June 19, 2008, 01:21:50 AM »
YEARS ago my old man was on the cabs, whilst signing on. He only picked up the fella he signed on with! (back then you had the same person every 1-2 weeks when you signed on)
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Offline Roberts LFC

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2008, 09:28:04 AM »
Roberts i always like reading your stories, they're interesting. ;D

Thanks Mate :D

Offline wickolfc

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2008, 12:43:04 PM »
If you want to read something good, I hear the Feedback board is nice this time of year.
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Offline Oscar3

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #24 on: June 20, 2008, 02:11:02 PM »
Im a Liverpool hackney driver and there are some funny stories,however i remember going to see the play "Night Collar" and someone told me i wouldnt find it too funny becaue i could have written the script myself!He had a point.I had a fucking Hyena sat next to me.My ice cream nearly ended up on the end of her nose!It was a decent play though!
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Offline fletcheri

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Re: Tales Of A Taxi Driver
« Reply #25 on: June 20, 2008, 06:35:37 PM »
Picked up a fare once and as i'm driving down the road she says "next left" so i turn left and she says "not that left, the other left" so i asked her "do you mean right" and she said "yes"