A slightly humourous take on current events from the Guardian's Fiver:
TIME DUBAI A FOOTBALL CLUB
Watching Liverpool shun one takeover bid after another, the Fiver couldn't help but worry that this once great English club might never find a suitable investor. Spurning in turn the lustful advances of Steve Morgan, Robert Kraft, Thaksin Shinawatra, Steve Morgan, George Gillett Jr, and Steve Morgan, Liverpool looked increasingly set for a slow decline into mid-table mediocrity, ready to be usurped by her less scrupulous Premiership rivals, who had jumped so readily into bed with the first wad-waving investor to come along.
Which is why it comes as some relief today to hear that Dubai International Capital [DIC], the investment arm of the Dubai government, are now in exclusive talks with the world's best-known Scouse outfit (that isn't The Beatles or a polyester shell-suit) after lodging a bid worth close to £400m for the club, and expect to begin due diligence, which sounds important, within days.
"Liverpool's investment requirements are well publicised," waffled DIC chief executive Sameer al-Ansari, making reference to the club's planned move to a new 60,000-seater stadium at Stanley Park. "We hope we can agree a deal that will provide us with the opportunity to fund its needs both on and off the pitch," he continued, making reference to the £200,000-a-week raise that'll be required to keep $tevie Me out of Chelsea's clutches again this summer. Neither cost should prove too big for DIC's owners and far-from-fake sheikhs, the Maktoum family - who also serve as Dubai's ruling family and hold many lucrative investments including the Tussauds Group and Travelodge.
Chairman David Moores and chief executive Rick Parry remained in Liverpool as the team travelled to Istanbul for their Big Cup tie with Galatasaray, but since the club neglected to confirm the story until fifteen minutes after Fiver deadline, here are some musings from Liverpool Echo scribe John Thompson. "Make no mistake, this is very, very exciting news for Liverpool, and a major coup for Parry," he dey-do-doh-don't-dey-dohed, as a mob of supporters prepared to strangle the first hack to write anything negative with a black armband. "Others will sit up and take notice." With the Maktoum's family fortune stretching to several billion dollars, here's betting that Pini Zahavi is among the first.