Author Topic: It's just a figure of speech... (Read 1534 times)

Raul! · « **Reply #40 on:** January 11, 2006, 06:49:04 AM »

A lovely one from my grandmother's lexicon:

As old as kitchen dust.

DK · « **Reply #41 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:47:51 AM »

It's been happening since Jesus played centre half for Jerusalem.

Tam · « **Reply #42 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:51:39 AM »

Tight as a camels arse in a sandstorm

The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society · « **Reply #43 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:52:21 AM »

my favourite "freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

capt k · « **Reply #44 on:** January 11, 2006, 09:25:25 AM »

Drier than a fuck without foreplay.
Dumb as a box of hammers
Not the sharpest tool in the shed

The Fletcher Memorial · « **Reply #45 on:** January 11, 2006, 10:02:24 AM »

Megobs drier dana arabs flipflop!

Wen like shit offa shovel la!

Doesn know is arse from is elbow kid!

I'll be fucked if I know!

Ey soft arse!

You lookina me orchewin a brick?

The 5th Benitle · « **Reply #46 on:** January 11, 2006, 10:13:08 AM »

Mad as a bottle of chips

RedZen · « **Reply #47 on:** January 11, 2006, 10:17:48 AM »

Arse like a blood orange

Sweating like King Herard in a creche

The wheels still spinning but the mouse has fucked off

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle

Minge like a Wizards sleeve $:-\$

Party Phil · « **Reply #48 on:** January 11, 2006, 11:06:30 AM »

Quote from: RedZen on January 11, 2006, 10:17:48 AM

Arse like a blood orange

Minge like a Wizards sleeve $:-\$

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
Face like a melted bucket

RedZen · « **Reply #49 on:** January 11, 2006, 12:43:04 PM »

had more pricks than a second hand dart board

been in more beds than percy throwers trowel

more cocks than john waynes rifle

face like a bag of spanners

was like a load of old shoes fallin out a loft (havin a loose shit)

didnt know whether to fuck her or fight her

was like wavin a pencil in a manhole

not much of a nail but one hell of a hammer to knock it in with

hung like a chipolata with 2 petit pois

like 2 puppies wrestlin under a quilt

Party Phil · « **Reply #50 on:** January 11, 2006, 12:45:12 PM »

having a shit:
re-arranged the phrase "the bottom fell out of my world"

Terry De Niro · « **Reply #51 on:** January 11, 2006, 03:23:07 PM »

Quote from: DK on January 11, 2006, 08:47:51 AM

It's been happening since Jesus played centre half for Jerusalem.

Quote from: Terry De Niro on January 11, 2006, 01:13:43 AM

That was out, when Jesus played right back for Jerusalem..

Voni · « **Reply #52 on:** January 11, 2006, 04:10:44 PM »

A face like a smacked arse

Alan_X · « **Reply #53 on:** January 11, 2006, 06:46:53 PM »

Tits like a tile-hangers nail bag

DK · « **Reply #54 on:** January 11, 2006, 07:19:15 PM »

Quote from: Terry De Niro on January 11, 2006, 03:23:07 PM

Black and White Paul · « **Reply #55 on:** January 11, 2006, 07:22:37 PM »

I'm going into Town! = I'm gannin to the Toon!

Raul! · « **Reply #56 on:** January 11, 2006, 07:44:45 PM »

Sarge · « **Reply #57 on:** January 11, 2006, 07:58:50 PM »

Happy as a pig in shite.

BIGdavalad · « **Reply #58 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:07:43 PM »

I was in Baghdad when you were in your dad's bags - you are not experienced enough to talk to me about these matters.

jambutty · « **Reply #59 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:26:57 PM »

So mean he wouldn't give yer the steam off his piss.

Raining down harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.

Elli · « **Reply #60 on:** January 11, 2006, 08:30:48 PM »

As tight as a camel's arse in a sandstorm

An interval to suck a lozenge (one from my family)

Socratease · « **Reply #61 on:** January 13, 2006, 12:34:52 AM »

Before Mrs Socs met me, she was in a queue for a night club some years ago waiting to get in, and this is verified, that a young bloke behind her in the queue groped her right buttock,
and she said, "Take your hand away from there, if you don't want to wear your balls as f***ing ear rings!" - Superb!

Barney_Rubble · « **Reply #62 on:** January 13, 2006, 01:55:42 AM »

As sick as a chocolate frog...

Terry De Niro · « **Reply #63 on:** January 13, 2006, 01:57:43 AM »

As tight as a nun's crack..

The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society · « **Reply #64 on:** January 13, 2006, 10:13:07 AM »

plenty in here;

I'm as stiff as a Giraffe with a stiff neck
I smell like a postman's sock
I'm as busy as a Bosnian bricklayer
About as well known as Hugh Grant's cock
I'm as tight as Cyril Smith's underpants
If I fuck Posh Spice It'll cost her
And I know what I've done for this comedy
What Fred West did for Gloucester

I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck
Eeh I'm fucking sick
I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck

I'm fucking fed up

I'm as dry as a Rwandan's arsehole
Quicker than a rabbit's fuck
I'm as sore as a honeymooner's fanny
I've never had OJ Simpson's luck
I'm as honest a Sting's accountant
George Best on a drinking binge
I'm as well hung a Michael Hutchence
And about as wet as Paula Yate's minge

I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck
Eeh I'm fucking sick
I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck

I'm fucking fed up

I'm as thick as two Mick Jagger's lips
About as wrinkled as John Boy's granny
I smell like a lavatory brush
I'm as big as Madonna's fucking fanny
I've seen more pricks than a lavatory seat
I'm as welcome as the council tax bill
But don't take any notice of me
I'm a moaning fat c*nt and I'm ill

I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck
Eeh I'm fucking sick
I'm as sick as fuck
I'm as sick as fuck
I'm fucking fed up