Topic: Wayne Bridge gets a phone call.

[Jake]

that is so fucking funny

[tubby]

That last line kills me every time.

[LiverLuke]

its brilliant, when you first read it your like wtf and have to go back and read again. find it much funnier than the baldrick one.

[PaulF]

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100202212025AAKnUtZ

[Crosby Nick]

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100202212025AAKnUtZ

Haha! This joke is almost 5 years old! It'll be going on an anniversary tour next. Where did that time go?

[redgriffin73]

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100202212025AAKnUtZ

Brilliant

For some reason I always read it all in an Alan Partridge type voice.

[Crosby Nick]

For some reason I always read it all in an Alan Partridge type voice.

I think life in general is better if everything is read in an Alan Partridge voice.

[sideshowme]

i hope wayne bridge ends up managing some team we meet in the FA cup, just so the whole of anfield can sing "i'm sorry wayne, finish your cider".

[redgriffin73]

I think life in general is better if everything is read in an Alan Partridge voice.

So true.

[Crosby Nick]

So true.

I'm leaving you you cow!

See, didn't seem so bad did it?!

[Snail]

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

*snorts*

[redgriffin73]

I'm leaving you you cow!

See, didn't seem so bad did it?!

[IanZG]

'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'

This is brilliant

[Snail]

'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'

I mean, that's genius.

[Brian Blessed]

It even translates.

[redgriffin73]

It even translates.

Haha, just ran it  through Google Translate, never done that before.

[Jake]

haha oh god I'm laughing again, it's so funny

[kavah]

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100202212025AAKnUtZ

Ha ha

[Buck Pete]

haha. Never seen this thread before. Funny as fuck. The joke is just brilliant

For older arses there is a character called John Shuttleworth (played by Graham Fellows) who does a standup routine and tells bizarre stories and sing songs just like this style.

"I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider."

[Crosby Nick]

For older arses there is a character called John Shuttleworth (played by Graham Fellows) who does a standup routine and tells bizarre stories and sing songs just like this style.

Mary had a little lamb, green beans and new potatoes.

[Mamadou]

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

omg

[Jake]

haha. Never seen this thread before. Funny as fuck. The joke is just brilliant

For older arses there is a character called John Shuttleworth (played by Graham Fellows) who does a standup routine and tells bizarre stories and sing songs just like this style.

"I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider."

I always thought John Shuttleworth was a real person. Oh dear.

[Robotforaday]

Never forget:

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

[the good half]

I saw this joke 'Live'.
I was there.


I love it.

[BigAl24]

[liversaint]

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

For old times sake

[Brian Blessed]

I don't think Chat could take the fame/infamy.

[Ziltoid]

Possibly the best ive ever read on here. 

[PaulF]

I still don't get it

[kesey]

I still don't get it

Irs weird I will give you that.

[idontknow]

Try reading it as if its done by someone like Eddie Izzard or Ross Noble. Its just a merry winding stream of weirdness. Its funny because its not a standard set up punch line joke, in a sense its funny because its not funny.

Come on, why was the bucket of water not in place?

[Sheer Magnetism]

It reads like a Terry Fuckwitt strip. That's not a bad thing though.

[kavah]

I still don't get it

For me it's the perfectly observed dialogue between the three of them. To me exactly how they'd talk - uncanny really

Funny / but not funny - but funny

For example

'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'

[ThePeetmix]

I still don't get it

Don't go looking for the punchline.

[PaulF]

For me it's the perfectly observed dialogue between the three of them. To me exactly how they'd talk - uncanny really

Funny / but not funny - but funny

For example

'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'

Thats where I fail, I havent the faintest idea what they sound like.
I do love the cult following it's gained though

[TheShanklyGates]

Always love seeing this bumped