Author Topic: Wayne Bridge gets a phone call. (Read 70244 times)

Gobias Industries · « **Reply #200 on:** September 29, 2010, 09:01:44 pm »

It was his second last post on RAWK. Dunno if he left or was asked to leave, but what a sign off.

Ziltoid · « **Reply #201 on:** September 29, 2010, 09:10:26 pm »

I think he flew off to Hong Kong to open a bar - can't wait until Palace and Wolves play and I'm going over

Les Willis · « **Reply #202 on:** September 29, 2010, 09:23:24 pm »

I can't stop laughing at this. I'm at work too. I love this thread..

LiverLuke · « **Reply #203 on:** September 30, 2010, 05:38:56 am »

i just read it, at first i was confused, then i read it again and after a while it was hilarious.. and im not even sure why.
"in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?" that cracked me up

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #204 on:** October 27, 2010, 05:02:32 pm »

one of the best threads ever

uber96 · « **Reply #205 on:** October 28, 2010, 02:31:41 am »

Quote from: Party Phil on February 2, 2010, 12:08:29 pm

Chat Rifles' psychiatrist gets a phone call.

hahahahahaha.

XabiArt · « **Reply #206 on:** October 28, 2010, 01:43:30 pm »

This should be a sticky

Spanish Al · « **Reply #207 on:** October 28, 2010, 01:52:39 pm »

Its even funnier when numerous people are posting : is that mean to be funny, am I missing something etc. hahaha

Whippo · « **Reply #208 on:** October 28, 2010, 02:42:36 pm »

This has to be the best thread on rawk. I read the joke about three times but didn't get it, then I started reading through the entire thread, priceless!

Filler. · « **Reply #209 on:** October 28, 2010, 10:20:40 pm »

OK, I haven't read the whole thread but "I was there reading Chat Rifles joke" years back, while one or two had just posted their responses, and I got it immediately and laughed loads. It's counter intuitive. I don't understand why it's been such a slow burner. A few 'wtf' comments made it better but I dunno... if said in the pub by the right person it would have made immediate sense, especially in a Radio 4 voice.

Tooky · « **Reply #210 on:** November 13, 2010, 09:59:16 pm »

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

Pure Fuking Comedic Genius..I would say this is in the vein of monty python..and above

buzzing · « **Reply #211 on:** March 8, 2011, 10:59:02 pm »

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

Dunno why. But I felt like giving that a bump

Anything Will Do · « **Reply #212 on:** March 9, 2011, 12:16:37 am »

Because it's fuckin hilarious? The comments are brilliant as well hahahaha

NatD · « **Reply #213 on:** March 9, 2011, 04:11:06 am »

I literally LOL'd again reading that! The killer line for me is the bartender not speaking English. I can see it coming, but it still cracks me up!!!!!!

USC19Babel · « **Reply #214 on:** March 9, 2011, 04:40:40 am »

I often wonder where Chat Rifles is at any given moment

Jokerman · « **Reply #215 on:** March 9, 2011, 04:48:27 am »

Quote from: Gobias Industries on September 29, 2010, 09:01:44 pm

It was his second last post on RAWK. Dunno if he left or was asked to leave, but what a sign off.

What else is there left to say after that? Perfect.

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #216 on:** March 9, 2011, 05:11:51 am »

Funniest post in RAWK history.

buzzing · « **Reply #217 on:** March 9, 2011, 07:36:45 pm »

dont forget to convert the chinese part with a translator

Gobias Industries · « **Reply #218 on:** March 9, 2011, 07:38:10 pm »

So glad this has been bumped again. I laugh out loud whenever I think of this. I tried to explain its genius to common folk once. They never got it. Losers.

Yiannis · « **Reply #219 on:** March 10, 2011, 12:09:24 am »

Quote from: adopted_scouser on March 9, 2011, 05:11:51 am

Funniest post in RAWK history.

"Someone changed my name to Baldrick" or something like that anyway, springs to mind....

Scarlet` · « **Reply #220 on:** March 10, 2011, 04:02:09 am »

Quote from: Spanish Al on October 28, 2010, 01:52:39 pm

Its even funnier when numerous people are posting : is that mean to be funny, am I missing something etc. hahaha

I think it takes out of the funniness when people like me can actually read what it says >.>

Car · « **Reply #221 on:** March 10, 2011, 04:34:34 am »

As a person from Hong Kong I found THAT post very funny. Don't expect Terry and Bridge in my home city!

Jookie · « **Reply #222 on:** March 17, 2011, 01:24:18 pm »

Quote from: adopted_scouser on March 9, 2011, 05:11:51 am

Funniest post in RAWK history.

Just read Chat Rifles original entry and have to agree.

I find it hard to imagine anyone writing anything funnier on RAWK ever.

str · « **Reply #223 on:** July 12, 2012, 11:37:01 pm »

Any chance for a report of the Terry trials from Chat Rifles?

rowan_d · « **Reply #224 on:** July 12, 2012, 11:42:38 pm »

How've you managed to get a huge avatar?

str · « **Reply #225 on:** July 12, 2012, 11:50:09 pm »

Quote from: rowan_d on July 12, 2012, 11:42:38 pm

How've you managed to get a huge avatar?

No idea mate, just updated it with URL linking - haven't noticed it's unusual - might get removed by the mods.

Now please finish your cider.

SP · « **Reply #226 on:** July 12, 2012, 11:51:07 pm »

Quote from: str on July 12, 2012, 11:50:09 pm

No idea mate, just updated it with URL linking - haven't noticed it's unusual - might get removed by the mods.

Now please finish your cider.

Or if may get flaccid once the excitement is over.

Red Genius · « **Reply #227 on:** July 13, 2012, 12:54:06 am »

Well that was a welcomed blast from the past, still gets me.

The 5th Benitle · « **Reply #228 on:** July 13, 2012, 12:58:42 am »

Still makes me giggle this, Chat Rifles post was fucking genius and made quite a few posters look like dickheads

Les Willis · « **Reply #229 on:** July 13, 2012, 02:46:08 am »

I don't think Chat Rifles mean't it as a joke, it was just his surreal take on the Terry/Bridge incident. It was funny because it came out of nowhere.

NatD · « **Reply #230 on:** July 13, 2012, 07:39:29 am »

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

I wanted to find this thread yesterday when reading the John Terry Courtroom posts. One of the best quotes on RAWK above, still cracks me up today...!

Tarantino Red · « **Reply #231 on:** July 13, 2012, 08:46:16 am »

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

Still the best thing on RAWK.

TheKid. · « **Reply #232 on:** July 13, 2012, 08:53:38 am »

Love how it was the last thing Chat Rifles did here too. Quite the sawn song

MacJanner · « **Reply #233 on:** August 23, 2012, 04:43:01 pm »

'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

Les Willis · « **Reply #234 on:** August 23, 2012, 04:45:50 pm »

Quote from: MacJanner on August 23, 2012, 04:43:01 pm

'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

I love it when new users find this thread. It still makes me chuckle..

Farman · « **Reply #235 on:** August 23, 2012, 05:32:49 pm »

It's like one of those 'Why can't a goldfish change a lightbulb? Because you can't clean a window with a spade'-type jokes.

Paul-LFC · « **Reply #236 on:** September 24, 2012, 02:17:46 am »

Bumping this because it was posted about in the Terry retirement thread and it reminded me of this.

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'

Still cracks me up

TravisBickle · « **Reply #237 on:** December 20, 2013, 12:21:04 am »

I'm sorry but I just have to bump this.

OsirisMVZ · « **Reply #238 on:** December 20, 2013, 12:34:42 am »

IT'S BACK

joezydudek · « **Reply #239 on:** December 20, 2013, 12:56:44 am »

Quote from: Chat Rifles on February 2, 2010, 12:01:38 pm

John Terry and Wayne Bridge walk into a pub. The bartender says 'Wow! John Terry and Wayne Bridge'.
'That's right' said Terry 'pleased to meet your acquaintance'
'Can I get you lads something to drink?' asked the landlord
'I'll have a pint of cider please' requested Bridge politely
'Just an orange juice for me please' said Terry 'I've got a game against Hull at 8 o'clock tonight'
'I know' said the bartender 'In fact this we like to show the games on TV'
'Too bad it's not on Sky' lamented the Man City full-back
'But Crystal Palace v Wolves is on ITV4' remembered Terry
'Not in this pub' added the bartender abruptly
'Why not?' asked Bridge incredulously 'Are you a Millwall fan?'
'No it's because you're not in England now. This is Hong Kong!'
'Oh crumbs!' exclaimed Terry. 'I've inexplicably travelled to Asia with former teammate and friend Wayne Bridge - the very person with whom I'm currently embroiled in a tabloid scandal. Now how on earth am I going to get to the KC stadium by eight to help the lads in our title quest?'
'I don't know' said the bartender 'in fact I don't really speak English 你識唔識講廣東話?'
'Quick Wayne' thought Terry 'let's make a dash to the nearest taxi stand'
'Hold on John' said Bridge 'I'm still injured remember. It's not like you to be inconsiderate'
'I'm sorry Wayne. Please finish your cider.'

First time I've seen this and it has blown my mind! I won't sleep tonight trying to work it out!