Author Topic: The addiction of gambling  (Read 25222 times)

Offline jason42

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #120 on: June 16, 2011, 10:35:15 pm »
I think I said in my first post in this thread that I'm ashamed of my actions because I like to think of myself as relatively intelligent. I suppose there is still a fraction of sense in me, in that I stop before I lose every penny, so I can still pay my bills.

I'm quite well organised, I've got a spreadsheet that details all of my direct debits and the dates they're due, so I always know what is coming out and when. Usually, what I do is, when I get my student loan, I put enough in my 'bill acount' and leave it there to pay off my bills.

What I have found this year is I have done that, but once I've lost my other money, money that is there for me to do what I want with (go out/go to the match/have a bet etc) that I've gone to my bill account. I've always made sure that the bare minimum is left in order to get through the next week, so that's something I suppose, but it's the inability to stop myself from using money that I know I shouldn't.

I think maybe it is my, admittedly very small, amount of common sense that doesn't see my account as having £25 in it now, it sees it as already at £0, because if I lost that £25, my problems would get so much worse.

Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not addicted. They say you shouldn't gamble more than you can afford to lose, and I always make sure I've got enough to pay my bills, so I guess I'm not losing more than I can afford to, but it's really no way to live - week to week, just having enough to scrape the bills. Granted, if I carried on like this forever, things wouldn't get worse, but I'd never have anything. My credit card is maxed, I've got an £1800 overdraft, I owe my mum £3k, my girlfriend is paying me monthly installments to help me get back on my feet. It all adds up and it's all down to gambling.

Bad habit or addiction, it can't carry on.
Wait till you get married and have kids and a mortgage ;) ;D
I think having separate accounts is a great idea and it certainly helped us reign in our spending. In a couple of years time we will have got rid of almost all our debt bar the mortgage and be on a far better financial footing.
Maybe you could have a betting account in a separate bank and put an acceptable amount in every month? Obviously you would have to control the urges to add more money but it would give you some control..... 
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Offline AJ

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #121 on: June 16, 2011, 10:51:36 pm »
I've often thought about that, and having it completely separate to my other accounts. I, embarrasingly, name my accounts my 'bill account' and my 'going out account', both set for obvious purposes, but both linked. This made it easy, when I'd lost all my going out money, to just transfer more from the bill account and that was dangerous. If I had another account that wasn't linked to any of the others, one that I had to deposit cash into in-branch, then I'd take away the risk of transferring when I've had a bad loss. But there's still nothing to stop me going and taking more from one of the other accounts than I should, it just makes it more of a pain to do it, but I've got around difficult situations plenty of times in making up stories for my mum to transfer to my other account.

Doing it that way, whilst having advantages, doesn't really solve the problem. Sure, it would reduce me chasing, because if I empty my account at 5pm on a Saturday, I've got no way of depositing more money to that account, but that's me being restrained, not me restraining myself.

I'm not sure if that sounds strange, but I would one day like to be able to gamble and be disciplined with it. Afterall, I didn't get into it to make millions, I got into it because I enjoyed it. So in order for me to get to that stage, I'd have to be able to restrain myself and not just able to do it with the help of others, otherwise I'll never be able to control it.

It seems ridiculous, to be talking about how/when/why I'll be able to get back in to it whilst I'm trying to beat it. I guess I don't want to beat gambling, per se, I want to beat the impulsiveness, the lack of discipline, the inability to say no and the lies that come with it. If I could get to a point in my life when I could deposit an amount, that was within my means and didn't affect my ability to pay bills, per week/month and stick to it, I'd be happy.

Is that realistic? Is it stupid?

I get frightened by the thought that I'm 22, I obviously quite enjoy gambling and, in order to 'beat' it, I'd have to go (hopefully) 60-70 years without ever doing it again. That's not what I want, that's not what I think I need, but am I right or is that just another symptom of my inability to control it?

So many questions :-\.

Offline gazzalfc

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #122 on: June 16, 2011, 10:52:18 pm »
Been thinking about putting my thoughts on here for a while.

Whilst I do not personally think I have an addiction that is negatively effecting my life I do admit I enjoy playing the pub bandits.

I remember playing them when i was really young. I'd stand next to my grandad and he'd tell me what buttons to press and share any winnings with me. That was fun but never played them myself until I got to uni.

Then I found out how they work. Learnt about the hoppers, the payout percentage, forcing machines, being able to judge when a machine was backing or when to walk away (which is always the hardest thing to judge).

Getting a machine to drop a £70 jackpot is a great feeling. Especially when you only stick £5-10 in. Going up to the bar to swap the coins for notes or using the winnings to get a round in. Its a great feeling. But on other days I could stick £10-20 in and get nothing.

But I never get drawn to a machine. I never gamble more than I can afford to lose. I dont go out of my way to play them. If its getting towards the end of a night I may stick in my loose change or kebab money in to see what happens. But wouldn't do anything more than that.

Think if I just go to a pub to play them or go out of my way to play them then I'll consider myself addicted. But for now I'm ok.

I know its a fine line i'm treading and its a steep drop if that line gets crossed. But for now I'm ok

Good luck to anyone going through worse. Its easy for people to say that 'Gambling only becomes an addiction when you start losing'. But it really isn't. 

Offline jason42

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #123 on: June 16, 2011, 11:12:33 pm »
I've often thought about that, and having it completely separate to my other accounts. I, embarrasingly, name my accounts my 'bill account' and my 'going out account', both set for obvious purposes, but both linked. This made it easy, when I'd lost all my going out money, to just transfer more from the bill account and that was dangerous. If I had another account that wasn't linked to any of the others, one that I had to deposit cash into in-branch, then I'd take away the risk of transferring when I've had a bad loss. But there's still nothing to stop me going and taking more from one of the other accounts than I should, it just makes it more of a pain to do it, but I've got around difficult situations plenty of times in making up stories for my mum to transfer to my other account.

Doing it that way, whilst having advantages, doesn't really solve the problem. Sure, it would reduce me chasing, because if I empty my account at 5pm on a Saturday, I've got no way of depositing more money to that account, but that's me being restrained, not me restraining myself.

I'm not sure if that sounds strange, but I would one day like to be able to gamble and be disciplined with it. Afterall, I didn't get into it to make millions, I got into it because I enjoyed it. So in order for me to get to that stage, I'd have to be able to restrain myself and not just able to do it with the help of others, otherwise I'll never be able to control it.

It seems ridiculous, to be talking about how/when/why I'll be able to get back in to it whilst I'm trying to beat it. I guess I don't want to beat gambling, per se, I want to beat the impulsiveness, the lack of discipline, the inability to say no and the lies that come with it. If I could get to a point in my life when I could deposit an amount, that was within my means and didn't affect my ability to pay bills, per week/month and stick to it, I'd be happy.

Is that realistic? Is it stupid?

I get frightened by the thought that I'm 22, I obviously quite enjoy gambling and, in order to 'beat' it, I'd have to go (hopefully) 60-70 years without ever doing it again. That's not what I want, that's not what I think I need, but am I right or is that just another symptom of my inability to control it?

So many questions :-\.
All my accounts are named....
Just give the account in a different bank a try. It might give you the control you are looking for....
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Offline AJ

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #124 on: June 16, 2011, 11:29:57 pm »
I'm quite rational most of the time; I can sit here now and talk about the reasons why I do it, why it's bad and remedies for stopping it, but when it actually happens I become someone else. I can spend weeks building up a decent balance with well reasoned backing/staking etc and in one night something will go against me and I'll snap.

Early in the season just gone, I had a £5 over 2.5 goal 8fold, the lads in the betting threads will recall it well. As I recall, I hadn't done a great deal else that weekend, punting wise. It stood to pay £1500 and, but for a missed penalty by Dexter Blackstock, it would have done. Forest v Millwall I think it was, finished 1-1 (with the penalty taken at that score) and all other 7 came in. I snapped. Although I'd only lost a fiver, it felt like I'd had that £1500 in my hand and it had been snatched away.

I went on to lose more than £1500 that weekend. I just lose all control. I'm a bad, bad loser and once the red mist has descended, it doesn't rise again until I've got the bare minimum left.

I just don't know what to do for the best. If I go cold turkey, I'm going to have to do it for the rest of my life and I'm not sure that's achievable. If I try to teach myself self-control, I run the risk of losing that control and blowing it all. If I force the control on me, I'm setting myself up for a fail, in that when the shackles are off, I won't have learnt anything and, without being restricted by something else, I could just go back to my old ways.

Argh.

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #125 on: June 16, 2011, 11:39:45 pm »
Will power mate, it's as simple as that. I was getting hooked on it and reading some stories from this thread got me thinking "That could be me in a few years". I'm going to go cold turkey and I will 100% not put a bet in again.

Offline CheshireDave

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #126 on: June 17, 2011, 08:59:04 am »
I just don't know what to do for the best. 

No offence to the people on this forum and in this thread but really you sound like you need professional help. Go to GA (if you've not already), call help lines and speak to people qualified to deal with this addiction. They will be able to give you advice and put steps in place for you to stop yourself gambling because the way you're going mate unless you do something about it you'll have run a hell of a lot of debt before you know it.

I know a lad who was badly addicted to roulette machines in the bookies (he is self employed and almost every penny of his wages would go in the machines) amongst other things and he had a course of hypnosis (suggested by a specialist) and he says it’s help him no end. Thought him tricks regarding self hypnosis. You might think this sounds like some new age shite but he swears by it.

First thing I would do if I was you if ring up all the companies you have accounts with and ask them to cancel your accounts and ban yourself. I know there is always going to be ways around them (high street bookies and other companies etc) but if you limit the options you have to gamble you may well sit there in front of your computer debit card in hand signing up for another account but that’s when you have to think “Fuck, what am I doing?!”. It’s all too easy to click My Account-Deposit-etc etc. I know because I can fire up an app on my phone and without even thinking I can have deposited 20, 50 or 100 into my account. Make a start by making it harder for yourself to gamble before it’s too late.

Online gambling is horrendous for gambling addicts because when you’re sat at home or on the bus and you stick a bet on and lose you can very easily keep the shame of it to yourself. It’s easy to do. Online bookies never shut and there is normally always something to bet on. Another reason I often stick £200+ on a single bet online because all I see in my account is digits and with a couple of clicks I could lose a lot whereas if I was stud with 20 tenners in my hand I’d be far less inclined to hand it over the counter at Ladbrokes in a single bet.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2011, 09:00:36 am by CheshireDave »
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Offline AJ

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #127 on: June 17, 2011, 09:37:22 am »
Thanks for that Dave.

I suppose I always return to my mindset that I need to beat things myself. When I was giving up smoking I tried patches, I tried reading books and it never worked. I didn't give up until I'd reached a point where I was ready to, and wasn't just doing it because I thought I should. Like with restricting myself via deposit limits/bank account restrictions, I'm not really addressing MY problem, just finding ways of something else addressing it.

I don't believe that gambling has to be a problem for me, it's not like smoking which is harmful to you no matter how little you do it, done in moderation it is an enjoyable hobby. I feel like gambling isn't the problem, its me, and in order to beat the problem I need to overcome my personal issues (implusiveness/lack of discipline etc)  as they could just as easily be applied to another undesirable 'hobby": drugs/drink etc.

Maybe that's part of my problem, I just don't know. I'm certain that I've got a problem, that much is obvious, but how to deal with it, I'm not sure.

Offline CheshireDave

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #128 on: June 17, 2011, 10:02:46 am »
I was in a similar place mate. I was gambling far too much. Luckily I didn’t get myself into debt and all my bills/mortgage got paid and was saving money every month (into separate accounts I didn't have easier access too or what would have been gambled too!) etc. It just got to the point where I was gambling pretty much everything left over after the bills were paid so I didn’t see it as a major problem at the time. I was around about your age (I am 25 now) and was risking obscene amounts of money in relation to what I was earning at that point and all my friends would say things like “You’re fucking nuts!” “What if you lose all that?!”. I’d just laugh it off with them but really after losing that sort of money I’d just sulk for a few hours, kick a few doors etc and then the next day deposit again. One day something changed, whether it was I matured or whatever and I just thought “Fuck this! I am working to gamble” and that’s not what I want, not one bit. So basically I cancelled every single online account I have except one Betfair account and one Bet365 account and stuck £50 per week limit on both so I knew if I avoided high street bookies all I could possible lose is £100 each week.

I will never stop gambling completely. Gambling was all around me when I was young. Father and Grandfather would take me to the Racing and I’d sit down and do a coupon with him on a Saturday morning. But if my Grandfather (he died a while ago) ever saw how much I have lost on single bets he would beat me within an inch of my life!

I enjoy gambling. I do it almost every day. It makes a insignificant football, tennis, cricket or fucking tiddlywinks match interesting!

Mate, you just need discipline and you need to learn to accept loses without flipping out and going into “Need to win what I lost NOW” mode. And the most important thing is only gamble what you can afford to lose (and I know this is easier said than done, believe me).

When you lose a big bet instead of going into chase mode and getting yourself wound up. Just take a few deep breaths, turn off your computer, leave your phone at home and go for a long walk or a jog (NOT passed any bookies ;)) to relax your mind. Channel your anger from losing a bet into some productive like exercise or whatever. Just make sure you remove yourself from any way of gambling when you feel like you’re seeing the ‘red mist’ you mentioned previously.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2011, 10:05:08 am by CheshireDave »
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #129 on: June 17, 2011, 10:38:01 am »
Been having a little read through this thread and can relate mostly to AJ, only 21 but i have lost too much to count to online gambling with 1800 going the last weekend i gambled which was the point i said i have to stop. As AJ also said it was just constantly building up a healthy bank balance each month putting on a little bet then once that loses it's all downhill.

Find myself betting on all sorts i dont have a clue about being tennis, volleyball dogs, horses anything thats inplay on the moment i need to chase that loss even been to colombian 2nd division football etc??

After the last loss i havent touched online gambling which has been great for me so far didnt close my accounts or anything just had to look at what i'd lost to keep myself away. Always tempted to go back with the likes of the u21's & Copa America starting and with the prem coming up it's going to be hard.

Been a few weeks so far though which has felt good and been able to do things instead of sit in chasing my losses over the weekend.

Dont really want to quit gambling as its enjoyable along with the casino's etc but think i need to stay away from online gambling for a while as its killing my bank account might just keep to the casual £50 at the casino now and then with a few mates see how that goes.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2011, 10:40:28 am by El Zhar 31 »
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Offline CheshireDave

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #130 on: June 17, 2011, 10:46:31 am »
I don’t think it matters what you bet on that’s the problem. People say to me “Why the fuck do you bet on Danish 3rd division games or some Filipino Basketball game” and really you don’t need to know anything about these Danish 3rd division teams to win a bet. There is only going to be 3 possible outcomes regardless of how little knowledge you know about said teams involved.

My advice would be don’t for a moment think because you think you know a lot more about Premier League teams or La Liga teams etc that you’re going to have a big advantage and therefore going to be more successful because as much as you’d like that to be the case, in my opinion it isn’t.
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Offline AJ

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #131 on: June 17, 2011, 11:17:02 am »
You sound exactly like me El Zhar!

Dave, your advice seems the most sensible to me, maybe it's because that is what I want to hear - that discipline and self-control can be taught - and that giving up isn't the only option.

I genuinely enjoy gambling, I love the buzz, not just of winning a bet, but of spending ages researching it, putting up a big write-up on here, seeing my mates all getting on it and then it coming in (those in the bets threads will say that doesn't happen often, but y'know :D). I can't see myself ever giving it up completely, I wouldn't want to, but like I've said, something has to change. Whilst online gambling makes it much more accessible and easy to develop a problem, the problem actually lies with me, not the gambling. If I deposit money and lose it, nobody forces me to deposit again, I do it myself because THAT is my problem.

Gambling is like anything else, you pay your money for your entertainment/service. When I go to the match, I pay my money for my ticket/travel/food/ale and never see that money again. If we lose I don't feel angry at losing the money, just the result. I don't go chasing the club to give me my money back, so why do it in other situations?

I feel a lot of the issue is attaching value to the money I deposit. Say, there's a group of my mates going out at the weekend and I've only got £20 in my bank, I'd gamble that money in order to get enough to be able to pay for the night out. Doing it like that adds pressure; that money MUST become £100 before the end of the week, so encourages silly betting/chasing.

Maybe it would be better just to have a completely separate betting 'allowance' - put away the money every week that is essential for bills and other living costs, don't rely on winning money to have a social life, otherwise the desperation will kick in at some point, and just use what is left. I don't earn a lot, so it won't be a lot, but that way, whatever I lose has no impact on anything else, so should decrease the chances of feeling the need to immediately chase it back.

Whilst I feel better when thinking like this, I don't know whether this is part of the issue. Here I am, in a thread where I've poured my heart out about my need to stop gambling, and now I'm exploring avenues of being able to continue with it.

I do genuinely believe that I don't want or need to completely stop gambling, just that I need to learn to control it, but is that genuine belief a classic symptom of my problem or a sensible approach to tackling the problem? I don't know.

Offline CheshireDave

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #132 on: June 17, 2011, 11:34:22 am »

Maybe it would be better just to have a completely separate betting 'allowance' - put away the money every week that is essential for bills and other living costs, don't rely on winning money to have a social life, otherwise the desperation will kick in at some point, and just use what is left. I don't earn a lot, so it won't be a lot, but that way, whatever I lose has no impact on anything else, so should decrease the chances of feeling the need to immediately chase it back.


Well mate, whether or not that solves your 'problem' or not I certainly think it's a step in the right direction.

Listen, you’ve said you don’t want to give up gambling completely and identified reason why you think you shouldn’t, that’s fine and I completely understand that but you definitely need to take steps to change what you’re doing and you know that.

I personally think you shouldn’t stop completely and perhaps that’s because I am a gambler and gone through a similar phase to you or because I think if you say “Right, from tomorrow I am NEVER going to gamble again” you’ll almost certainly not stick to it and when you do bet again you’ll still be betting the same amounts and unfortunately losing the same amounts.

You need to get your mindset in a place where you’re not gambling to have enough money to go out on the piss or go to the match or whatever (because I can assure you that’s not in anyway healthy) and simple gamble because you enjoy it (research and self satisfaction) and in my experience one of the ways of doing that is reduce the amount you bet and frequency of when you bet. Sure set yourself targets, that’s healthy for example say to yourself if I deposit this a tenner on a Monday and think I wouldn’t mind that new pair of trainers or wouldn’t mind saving for a holiday or whatever and try and build it up to that and when you’ve reached that target or £50, £60 or £100 and withdraw and start again next week. I know this is easier said than done but unless you set yourself targets at what point to you stop building up your account balance?! I have been there many times mate where I have started with £50 and built it up over a couple of weeks to 5 or 600 and then after a succession of bets not coming in within a day it’s all gone. Another way of looking it is deposit a smallish amount and if you enjoy going out of a weekend try and win yourself a few extra pints or a nice meal. But first and foremost remember DON’T GAMBLE TO LIVE or you’re asking for trouble in my opinion.

Anyway, I better get some work done.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2011, 11:36:11 am by CheshireDave »
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Offline jason42

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #133 on: June 17, 2011, 11:48:10 am »
You sound exactly like me El Zhar!

Dave, your advice seems the most sensible to me, maybe it's because that is what I want to hear - that discipline and self-control can be taught - and that giving up isn't the only option.

I genuinely enjoy gambling, I love the buzz, not just of winning a bet, but of spending ages researching it, putting up a big write-up on here, seeing my mates all getting on it and then it coming in (those in the bets threads will say that doesn't happen often, but y'know :D). I can't see myself ever giving it up completely, I wouldn't want to, but like I've said, something has to change. Whilst online gambling makes it much more accessible and easy to develop a problem, the problem actually lies with me, not the gambling. If I deposit money and lose it, nobody forces me to deposit again, I do it myself because THAT is my problem.

Gambling is like anything else, you pay your money for your entertainment/service. When I go to the match, I pay my money for my ticket/travel/food/ale and never see that money again. If we lose I don't feel angry at losing the money, just the result. I don't go chasing the club to give me my money back, so why do it in other situations?

I feel a lot of the issue is attaching value to the money I deposit. Say, there's a group of my mates going out at the weekend and I've only got £20 in my bank, I'd gamble that money in order to get enough to be able to pay for the night out. Doing it like that adds pressure; that money MUST become £100 before the end of the week, so encourages silly betting/chasing.

Maybe it would be better just to have a completely separate betting 'allowance' - put away the money every week that is essential for bills and other living costs, don't rely on winning money to have a social life, otherwise the desperation will kick in at some point, and just use what is left. I don't earn a lot, so it won't be a lot, but that way, whatever I lose has no impact on anything else, so should decrease the chances of feeling the need to immediately chase it back.

Whilst I feel better when thinking like this, I don't know whether this is part of the issue. Here I am, in a thread where I've poured my heart out about my need to stop gambling, and now I'm exploring avenues of being able to continue with it.

I do genuinely believe that I don't want or need to completely stop gambling, just that I need to learn to control it, but is that genuine belief a classic symptom of my problem or a sensible approach to tackling the problem? I don't know.
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Offline AJ

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #134 on: June 17, 2011, 01:24:29 pm »
To be honest (and sound like a faggot) you lot have really helped. Its difficult talking to people who don't really understand, like my mum, about it. She just sees me losing loads of money gambling, so that must be the problem. It's interesting to hear from other people who have been in the same situation and see how they changed their ways.

If I try and quit forever, and fail, I'll end up in the same boat again countless times. If I try and change my ways; the way I behave and the way I react , then I can make myself a better person, not just in terms of gambling, but in all walks of life. If I don't learn to control impulsive urges and desperation now, what's to stop me feeling them for something else later in life?

I won't be rushing in to anything, I certainly need to consolidate for a while and improve my financial position a bit before I even contemplate depositing again, but that, in itself, could be the first sign of developing some control and discipline.

...Hopefully.

Offline Jimmy Conway

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #135 on: June 17, 2011, 04:11:04 pm »
My uncle was hooked on gambling. My dad collated all the turnover and profit levels for all the bookies from Companies House he frequented and showed him. He was stunned to see how much money the bookies turn over, and hasn't gambled since.
Suppose the saying about the 'only winners are the bookies' is true.

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #136 on: June 18, 2011, 12:52:47 pm »
So, day 4.

Weekends are always the hardest time for me. I get money every Saturday morning (£82.50), of which £12.50 is for my weekly shop (sad, I know) and the rest is for making up the shortfall of my bills. Weekends have become a bit of a non-event for me, usual pattern went something like: wake up on Saturday morning, deposit shopping money and any bill money that wasn't immediately required the next week, lie on the couch and gamble - not moving until Monday morning when I'd go back to work. Not a healthy way of living.

I was up at 8 today, watched Corrie from last night (shut up, having something to watch keeps me entertained and prevents me gambling, ok?), had a bath and went down to Iceland to do my shopping. Now back at home with my feet up, food for the next week sorted and no money left to lose.

Small victories and that, but I feel absolutely great right now.

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #137 on: June 18, 2011, 12:55:39 pm »
So, day 4.

Weekends are always the hardest time for me. I get money every Saturday morning (£82.50), of which £12.50 is for my weekly shop (sad, I know) and the rest is for making up the shortfall of my bills. Weekends have become a bit of a non-event for me, usual pattern went something like: wake up on Saturday morning, deposit shopping money and any bill money that wasn't immediately required the next week, lie on the couch and gamble - not moving until Monday morning when I'd go back to work. Not a healthy way of living.

I was up at 8 today, watched Corrie from last night (shut up, having something to watch keeps me entertained and prevents me gambling, ok?), had a bath and went down to Iceland to do my shopping. Now back at home with my feet up, food for the next week sorted and no money left to lose.

Small victories and that, but I feel absolutely great right now.

Well in mate - it's all about svaouring the small things when you give up gambling.

The "new start" feeling can be really refreshing - stay on th wagon all weekend mate; you'll
feel better for it on Monday morning.
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Offline Rafas3leggedtable

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #138 on: June 18, 2011, 01:19:01 pm »
So, day 4.

Weekends are always the hardest time for me. I get money every Saturday morning (£82.50), of which £12.50 is for my weekly shop (sad, I know) and the rest is for making up the shortfall of my bills. Weekends have become a bit of a non-event for me, usual pattern went something like: wake up on Saturday morning, deposit shopping money and any bill money that wasn't immediately required the next week, lie on the couch and gamble - not moving until Monday morning when I'd go back to work. Not a healthy way of living.

I was up at 8 today, watched Corrie from last night (shut up, having something to watch keeps me entertained and prevents me gambling, ok?), had a bath and went down to Iceland to do my shopping. Now back at home with my feet up, food for the next week sorted and no money left to lose.

Small victories and that, but I feel absolutely great right now.

Been keeping an eye on this mate and I wish you well, and any others who think they may have a problem. Like Effes says below, small steps soon become bigger ones. I have been 4 months + free now and my life and way of thinking has changed dramatically. I am literally a different person - the best things in life are free its true. Treat yourself now and then however with the money you would have spent and dont look back. If I had my time again...
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #139 on: June 20, 2011, 07:17:42 am »
Day 6 and I've made it through the weekend unscathed. That is certainly the first weekend this year that I've not had a bet, it could well be the first weekend for about a year. It feels good. I kept myself busy most of the time with a report I've got to write, housework and FM, but I did manage to squeeze in watching some live sport and didn't ever feel compelled to deposit. A few times I thought about what I would have backed, but never felt that I needed to back it.

Good stuff!
« Last Edit: June 20, 2011, 07:43:45 am by AJ »

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #140 on: June 20, 2011, 07:42:53 am »
Well done AJ mate and all the best to all those dealing with this.

Take care.

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #141 on: June 20, 2011, 07:55:16 am »
Day 6 and I've made it through the weekend unscathed. That is certainly the first weekend this year that I've not had a bet, it could well be the first weekend for about a year. It feels good. I kept myself busy most of the time with a report I've got to write, housework and FM, but I did manage to squeeze in watching some live sport and didn't ever feel compelled to deposit. A few times I thought about what I would have backed, but never felt that I needed to back it.

Good stuff!
Well done AJ....show have shown yourself that you can live/survive without betting and I believe that if you put in the requisite amount of effort you will get this under control and only bet when you feel it is safe and affordable to do so. I would definitely set up a betting only account somewhere away from your main bank and make it difficult to add money to it other than the monthly standing order. This will help with your control.....best of luck mate and keep up the good work!!!
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #142 on: August 13, 2011, 01:42:19 pm »
After a summer of not betting at all really on football already been sucked back in on the first day of the season.
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #143 on: August 13, 2011, 06:50:41 pm »
Only just seen this thread
A couple of years ago i went to a really bad place with gambling,still scares me now when i think back to the amount of money that i wasted chasing losses,betting on teams from leagues that id never even heard of just in the hope of getting a double,treble come in to recoup the money that id lost in the day.

all came to a head one day when 2 months wages went in a day,sat there at the computer staring at the screen and something just snapped in me,reality hit and i realised i was well and truely fucked.Looking back now at that day im really glad it happened,made me sit down and take stock of everything and i think thats when it finally hit,i was well and truely addicted

first thing i did was close all online betting accounts,i knew that if i carried on i would be living on the streets ,i figured if i havnt got the accounts then i cant bet

Changed my life at the end of the day,now have some spare cash in my arse pocket at the end of the month,dont get me wrong i still have a gamble on the footy but its a tenner a week on the goals galore coupons,just for bit of interest when your sat in the pub wtching the results come in - and iv found its harder to go chasing losses when you live a fair few miles from the nearest bookies.

The problem is that with an online account its a piece of piss to put money on - couple of clicks on the mouse and there's £100 gone,5 mins on your phone and there's another £100 gone,and i always thought the next big win was around the corner but it never was,sure i had some decent wins but that money would be straight onto the next game and eventually the bookie would have it all back

im probably not the best person to be giving advice on gambling but anyone out there who thinks they have a problem,shut down your online accounts - certainly did me the world of good.

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #144 on: August 13, 2011, 08:00:40 pm »
Thanks for that Dave.

I suppose I always return to my mindset that I need to beat things myself. When I was giving up smoking I tried patches, I tried reading books and it never worked. I didn't give up until I'd reached a point where I was ready to, and wasn't just doing it because I thought I should. Like with restricting myself via deposit limits/bank account restrictions, I'm not really addressing MY problem, just finding ways of something else addressing it.

I don't believe that gambling has to be a problem for me, it's not like smoking which is harmful to you no matter how little you do it, done in moderation it is an enjoyable hobby. I feel like gambling isn't the problem, its me, and in order to beat the problem I need to overcome my personal issues (implusiveness/lack of discipline etc)  as they could just as easily be applied to another undesirable 'hobby": drugs/drink etc.

Maybe that's part of my problem, I just don't know. I'm certain that I've got a problem, that much is obvious, but how to deal with it, I'm not sure.

For some people it is a problem mate. You have said yourself you just want to enjoy the occasional flutter, but your an addict! It's not possible. It's the same for an alcoholic who just wants to enjoy a quiet drink. They're not able to. I understand what you're saying about losing the rag and throwing away all your money trying to chase your losses. Everybody goes on tilt and throws the head up. Some people are able to walk away losing the £5 bet you mentioned and all they've lost is £5. You, on the other hand don't have the discipline or right mentality for it to be a small hobby, especially if you set out with a £5 bet and end up losing over a grand. That's just dangerous buddy.

I'd take a step back and ask yourself "why am i gambling?" Is it for the money or is it for the rush? It's probably abit of both but you've said it's to help you live beyond your means. You're onto a loser straight away there mate, few people make a living gambling, and i'm sure the ones who do have incredible self discipline and are able to detach themselves from their money so they're not making decisions based on their emotions.

I hope this helps mate, I'm no counsellor but I know where you're coming from. You've almost admitted to yourself it's a problem yet you want to find a way of continuing with it because you enjoy it so much. Spoken like a true addict chum. Get help and cut your losses.

Offline Rafas3leggedtable

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #145 on: August 13, 2011, 09:14:53 pm »
For some people it is a problem mate. You have said yourself you just want to enjoy the occasional flutter, but your an addict! It's not possible. It's the same for an alcoholic who just wants to enjoy a quiet drink. They're not able to. I understand what you're saying about losing the rag and throwing away all your money trying to chase your losses. Everybody goes on tilt and throws the head up. Some people are able to walk away losing the £5 bet you mentioned and all they've lost is £5. You, on the other hand don't have the discipline or right mentality for it to be a small hobby, especially if you set out with a £5 bet and end up losing over a grand. That's just dangerous buddy.

I'd take a step back and ask yourself "why am i gambling?" Is it for the money or is it for the rush? It's probably abit of both but you've said it's to help you live beyond your means. You're onto a loser straight away there mate, few people make a living gambling, and i'm sure the ones who do have incredible self discipline and are able to detach themselves from their money so they're not making decisions based on their emotions.

I hope this helps mate, I'm no counsellor but I know where you're coming from. You've almost admitted to yourself it's a problem yet you want to find a way of continuing with it because you enjoy it so much. Spoken like a true addict chum. Get help and cut your losses.

Thats good advice mate - cant argue with any of that, and I am a compulsive gambler. Saddens me slightly when even those nearest and dearest to me think that maybe I could just have the odd bet here and now again. 6 months plus now since my last bet..
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Offline Effes

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #146 on: August 14, 2011, 08:15:42 am »
The problem is that with an online account its a piece of piss to put money on - couple of clicks on the mouse and there's £100 gone,

Online gambling is deadly - there is no way I'd take £10,000 into a bookies - but in my dark days
I did put that much on a bet - it almost detaches you from reality
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #147 on: August 14, 2011, 09:37:46 am »
Online gambling is deadly - there is no way I'd take £10,000 into a bookies - but in my dark days
I did put that much on a bet - it almost detaches you from reality

Dear Lord!  :shocked


Definitely agree that online accounts make it far easier for people to lose a lot of money quickly that they would never bet it real life.

He's made Kaizer wet himself with excitement then cry when he realises all in one post. Ban him? Knight him in the new year's honours!

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #148 on: August 14, 2011, 09:45:21 am »
Its not gambling when you have an edge and a large enough sample size  ;)
Wake up, will ya pal? If you're not inside, you're outside, OK? And I'm not talking a $400,000 a year working Wall Street stiff flying first class and being comfortable, I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars buddy. A player. - Gordon Gekko

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #149 on: January 30, 2012, 02:53:04 pm »
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Just wanted to bump this up if no-one minds. I cannot begin to explain how gambling (like any addiction) can have such a hold on your life. A year ago to the day I was like a drug addict out of control – except in my case my drugs were bookies and machines. Even to the point where every bit of cash I could lay my hands on was going over a counter. I was out of control. The next day I stood on a wall in front of high seas and after much crying and soul searching chose a different life.

Advice to any people who think they may have a problem? Go to your nearest GA or visit the website. It’s the only chance of your life being your own again.
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #150 on: January 30, 2012, 09:19:39 pm »
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Just wanted to bump this up if no-one minds. I cannot begin to explain how gambling (like any addiction) can have such a hold on your life. A year ago to the day I was like a drug addict out of control – except in my case my drugs were bookies and machines. Even to the point where every bit of cash I could lay my hands on was going over a counter. I was out of control. The next day I stood on a wall in front of high seas and after much crying and soul searching chose a different life.

Advice to any people who think they may have a problem? Go to your nearest GA or visit the website. It’s the only chance of your life being your own again.


Funny enough I was just thinking of this thread earlier today. Glad to hear you're still going well mate.
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Offline Rafas3leggedtable

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #151 on: January 31, 2012, 09:10:33 am »
Thanks Rusty
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #152 on: February 14, 2012, 11:50:44 pm »
Today I have called it a day. I have read through the whole of this thread tonight and have gained a lot of heart from everyone's stories and would like to share my own. This is the first time I have admitted it to anyone seriously that I am/was a gambling addict.

I'm still 18 but was betting since I turned 18. For me the realization of loosing the amount of money I have over this past week and how fast I have lost it has made me face the facts. I was on a bad loosing streak, and everyday I would bet more and more telling myself that my luck will soon change. It didn't. I had eaten up my student loan, dipped into my saving that my parents gave to me and gone into overdrafts, the lot. I was always breaking even from week to week with small stakes before then and thought to my self that I was doing well, my mates knew about the smaller bets and would say rather jokingly that I would end up loosing all my money and that I would turn to alcohol, family friends leaving me and so on. Thankfully only part of the former has happened for me to admit my mistakes. I wouldn't listen as I knew that they were not 100% serious and I though of myself as someone who controlled money wisely.

I lost a huge bet, 10x what I would normally bet last week. Took two days off to cool off and have a think about it. Then I made another bet today convincing myself that this bet would clear me of my debt. It didn't come through. I considered upping the stakes again and betting again but the realization and thought hours after of loosing money that my parents set aside for me personally all my life on something like betting was gut wrenching. I am thankful and I'm thinking of it as a blessing in disguised that I didn't recoup my money because I would have lost it in the future anyway. I am thankful that it didn't take more for me to realize what I was doing.

I have turned off all the betting media that I have used in the past praying that I would not ever bet again. I'm going to sleep now, hopefully waking up in the morning without the calling of betting on my mind. I will focus on my studies as I'm still in university, focus on my real friends, family and try to channel out the need to bet. Hopefully posting this will also channel my mind and turn me into the right direction.

Good luck to the rest of you.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2012, 11:57:19 pm by Pankaka »
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Offline MrGrumpy

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #153 on: February 15, 2012, 09:09:31 am »


Me, I used to work for a book makers, as part of the induction period they give you a days training on how bookmaking works showing you how the bookie always wins. That killed any gambling problem I might have developed stone dead.


Good luck Dave, stay strong
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #154 on: February 15, 2012, 07:43:57 pm »
My daughter rang me last last night, she's 17 and in her last year at school.

She burst into tears, and told me how she had ran up debts on her Nan's online bingo account.
£1700 she used up from her Nan's bank account in 2 weeks.

Fortunataly her Nan found out in time, and can still pay the bills.
I must say, I wasn't impressed that her Nan (her Mum's Mum) let her gamble online.
Apparently she said her Nan has said she can pay her back a bit each week.

This has shocked me somewhat - I nearly ruined my life gambling a few years ago.

I have about £1200 for her 18th birthday in June - but I feel I should keep this for her 21st.
She knows about this money, but she might just have to wait.

I'll mull this over.
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Offline And Could He Play

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #155 on: February 15, 2012, 07:46:10 pm »
wow, why are they letting her gamble online.
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #156 on: February 15, 2012, 08:05:07 pm »
My daughter rang me last last night, she's 17 and in her last year at school.

She burst into tears, and told me how she had ran up debts on her Nan's online bingo account.
£1700 she used up from her Nan's bank account in 2 weeks.

Fortunataly her Nan found out in time, and can still pay the bills.
I must say, I wasn't impressed that her Nan (her Mum's Mum) let her gamble online.
Apparently she said her Nan has said she can pay her back a bit each week.

This has shocked me somewhat - I nearly ruined my life gambling a few years ago.

I have about £1200 for her 18th birthday in June - but I feel I should keep this for her 21st.
She knows about this money, but she might just have to wait.

I'll mull this over.
Have you considered giving to her nan to help pay down the debt?

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #157 on: February 15, 2012, 08:29:44 pm »
Have you considered giving to her nan to help pay down the debt?

Nope - she shouldn't have let her go online to gamble
It's between the two of them

Do you think I should? I don't
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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #158 on: February 15, 2012, 08:31:38 pm »
Nope - she shouldn't have let her go online to gamble
It's between the two of them

Do you think I should? I don't
No, you have a good point there. I was just thinking that if she is expecting that money it might hammer the lesson home. But you know her, I don't :P

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Re: The addiction of gambling
« Reply #159 on: February 15, 2012, 09:46:03 pm »
Today I have called it a day. I have read through the whole of this thread tonight and have gained a lot of heart from everyone's stories and would like to share my own. This is the first time I have admitted it to anyone seriously that I am/was a gambling addict.

I'm still 18 but was betting since I turned 18. For me the realization of loosing the amount of money I have over this past week and how fast I have lost it has made me face the facts. I was on a bad loosing streak, and everyday I would bet more and more telling myself that my luck will soon change. It didn't. I had eaten up my student loan, dipped into my saving that my parents gave to me and gone into overdrafts, the lot. I was always breaking even from week to week with small stakes before then and thought to my self that I was doing well, my mates knew about the smaller bets and would say rather jokingly that I would end up loosing all my money and that I would turn to alcohol, family friends leaving me and so on. Thankfully only part of the former has happened for me to admit my mistakes. I wouldn't listen as I knew that they were not 100% serious and I though of myself as someone who controlled money wisely.

I lost a huge bet, 10x what I would normally bet last week. Took two days off to cool off and have a think about it. Then I made another bet today convincing myself that this bet would clear me of my debt. It didn't come through. I considered upping the stakes again and betting again but the realization and thought hours after of loosing money that my parents set aside for me personally all my life on something like betting was gut wrenching. I am thankful and I'm thinking of it as a blessing in disguised that I didn't recoup my money because I would have lost it in the future anyway. I am thankful that it didn't take more for me to realize what I was doing.

I have turned off all the betting media that I have used in the past praying that I would not ever bet again. I'm going to sleep now, hopefully waking up in the morning without the calling of betting on my mind. I will focus on my studies as I'm still in university, focus on my real friends, family and try to channel out the need to bet. Hopefully posting this will also channel my mind and turn me into the right direction.

Good luck to the rest of you.
how much was your huge bet if you dont mind us asking
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