Author Topic: Cancer  (Read 245814 times)

Offline Beav

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1000 on: November 16, 2011, 07:59:04 am »
So sorry to hear that Keith, my deepest condolences.
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Offline The Sky I Scrape

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1001 on: November 16, 2011, 01:48:02 pm »
Im in tears reading that keith,so sorry. I cant get words out.

RIP Jo.........
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Offline NewHampshire_Exile

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1002 on: November 16, 2011, 07:27:49 pm »
Unfortunately, after a very long weekend, Joanne passed away earlier this morning at about 1:30am. I was with her and that's all I ever wanted, for her not to be alone.

God bless you my darling



Sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

Offline hixxstar

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1003 on: November 16, 2011, 10:38:30 pm »
Had a candle burning for your Dad, hixxstar. Always light a candle when it's time for a person to leave their loved ones.
May his soul have Eternal rest and peace come to you & the family.
R.I.P. John

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Offline ashy9

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1004 on: November 17, 2011, 02:34:31 am »
Oh Keith I'm so sorry and echo what others have said. Keep strong and I'm so glad you got to be with Jo at the end.

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1005 on: November 17, 2011, 08:17:12 am »
Just caught up with the thread. Heartbreaking as normal.

Keith, fucking hell lad. Not the news any of us wanted. She was a bloody big fighter all the way to the end mate.
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Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1006 on: November 17, 2011, 10:32:21 am »
Well, as you can imagine, it's been a pretty shit couple of days, well couple of weeks or years in reality. But, Jo and myself really made sure we enjoyed the last 2 1/2 yrs after she was diagnosed again and the prognosis of paliative care.

Being a fighter, Jo wanted one last crack and I was behind her all the way and she fought until the end but it was just too much for her. Chronic kidney failure to go with her damaged liver and lungs was just too much to overcome.

I'd like to thank each and everyone of you who have supported Jo and myself over the last few days, weeks, months it really means a lot and makes a very difficult time a little bit easier.

Bless you all and good luck and best wishes to everyone who is fighting the fight against this horrible disease.
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1007 on: November 17, 2011, 10:37:36 am »


Bless you and Jo. You know where to turn if you need it.

YNWA

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1008 on: November 17, 2011, 02:52:07 pm »
What a woman and what a fight. So very sorry that you have lost her and so sorry for her that she has lost you too. 

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Offline Bioluminescence

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1009 on: November 17, 2011, 04:41:01 pm »
So sorry to read your news, Keith. Glad you were able to be there for her as it clearly meant so much to you. I'm thinking of you, RIP Jo.

Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1010 on: November 28, 2011, 09:46:09 am »
We held Joanne's funeral last Thursday. A sad day but also enjoyable as we remembered her as she would want to be remembered and not for the final 2 weeks of her life. A bif turn out at church, crem and pub where I met quite a few of her old friends, swapped stories and even looked at some photos I hadn't seen of her early life. Just got to bury the ashes, hopefully this week sometime.

Now, just got to get round to sorting the house out, the back bedroom which is Joanne's domain. Even looking for some clean bedding the other day I found some Xmas presents she had bought after last year, thinking ahead, not for me, they are women's toiletries Joanne bought in the sales.

It wil take a while to sort out all her clothes etc, but her sister will help and she can have anything she wants to keep and the rest I'll give to the local charity shop, hopefully someone wil get some benefit out of it.

Will pop down to the Lilac Centre as well this week as I need to drop of the sizeable donations we received in Joanne's memory and also to say thank you to the staff for how they looked after her for the last 4.5 years.

Support from family and friends and from people I don't even know, including posters on here has been immense and without doubt helped us through the last few years and me through the last month or so.

I still can't take it in fully, still can't get my head around not seeing that smiling face and I find night time the worst, in an empty bed, I'm just finding it hard to sleep. I'm OK when I go to sleep but it's getting to sleep that's the problem, can't stop thinking about her, times we've had over the years and then I try to think about something more mundane like work or football but it's minutes before I'm back on Joanne and still not asleep. Last time I looked at the clock last night was 1:30am which isn't good when you are up for work at 5:30am. I'm sure it will settle down eventually, just got to get myself through the next few weeks without it running me down, although I've already got a cold sore coming through this morning.

But, and it's a big but and something to hold on to, I collect our dog from Joanne's parents tonight after he's been with them since the start of the month when I first took Joanne into hospital. They aren't too kean to let him go as they love him like their own but I need him back for my own sanity and to help get back to normality but they will still see plenty of him.

Here's to the future with my happy memories and thanks to each and everyone of you for your support and kind words.  :wave
I might have single handedly ruined Warrington's picture houses,but personally thought my pocket money was better spent at Anfield.

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1011 on: November 28, 2011, 09:56:08 am »
Keith... you, sir, are one brave man!

I'm in tears right now. Your description of how you feel at night is just like the way I felt when my Dad died. Eventually things will get better - it's part of the grieving process. I cannot express how much I admire your courage and your way of handling the whole situation. I have the utmost respect for you.

Please feel free to PM if you need to vent to someone completely outside your "normal" life.

Take care and God bless Jo and yourself.

Offline lostpet.

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1012 on: November 28, 2011, 10:07:47 am »
Jesus, havent been in here for a while so sorry to hear about your loss Keith, Jo sounds like an amazing woman!

Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1013 on: November 28, 2011, 10:16:22 am »
It does get better after a while Keith, its the little things that upset me the most. Stay strong mate and look after yourself.
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Offline The Sky I Scrape

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1014 on: November 28, 2011, 02:51:03 pm »
Keith... you, sir, are one brave man!

I'm in tears right now. Your description of how you feel at night is just like the way I felt when my Dad died. Eventually things will get better - it's part of the grieving process. I cannot express how much I admire your courage and your way of handling the whole situation. I have the utmost respect for you.

Please feel free to PM if you need to vent to someone completely outside your "normal" life.

Take care and God bless Jo and yourself.

I can only echo what has been so well put by bennekov keith,you are a very strong person to deal with this the way you have. Keep headstrong and remember Jo for the life you had together,and the life you will always have,never forgotten,and always remembered with a smile now!

My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.

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Offline givemekaliber

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1015 on: November 28, 2011, 02:57:34 pm »
Lost my Dad three years ago now to a brain tumour. He has missed all four of his grandchildren being born and honestly no matter how strong you are it's a hard hard slog to watch someone so close pass on like that. All I can say is that your family and friends will group together and you'll become stronger than ever.
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Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1016 on: November 28, 2011, 03:08:38 pm »
We held Joanne's funeral last Thursday. A sad day but also enjoyable as we remembered her as she would want to be remembered and not for the final 2 weeks of her life. A bif turn out at church, crem and pub where I met quite a few of her old friends, swapped stories and even looked at some photos I hadn't seen of her early life. Just got to bury the ashes, hopefully this week sometime.

Now, just got to get round to sorting the house out, the back bedroom which is Joanne's domain. Even looking for some clean bedding the other day I found some Xmas presents she had bought after last year, thinking ahead, not for me, they are women's toiletries Joanne bought in the sales.

It wil take a while to sort out all her clothes etc, but her sister will help and she can have anything she wants to keep and the rest I'll give to the local charity shop, hopefully someone wil get some benefit out of it.

Will pop down to the Lilac Centre as well this week as I need to drop of the sizeable donations we received in Joanne's memory and also to say thank you to the staff for how they looked after her for the last 4.5 years.

Support from family and friends and from people I don't even know, including posters on here has been immense and without doubt helped us through the last few years and me through the last month or so.

I still can't take it in fully, still can't get my head around not seeing that smiling face and I find night time the worst, in an empty bed, I'm just finding it hard to sleep. I'm OK when I go to sleep but it's getting to sleep that's the problem, can't stop thinking about her, times we've had over the years and then I try to think about something more mundane like work or football but it's minutes before I'm back on Joanne and still not asleep. Last time I looked at the clock last night was 1:30am which isn't good when you are up for work at 5:30am. I'm sure it will settle down eventually, just got to get myself through the next few weeks without it running me down, although I've already got a cold sore coming through this morning.

But, and it's a big but and something to hold on to, I collect our dog from Joanne's parents tonight after he's been with them since the start of the month when I first took Joanne into hospital. They aren't too kean to let him go as they love him like their own but I need him back for my own sanity and to help get back to normality but they will still see plenty of him.

Here's to the future with my happy memories and thanks to each and everyone of you for your support and kind words.  :wave

Holy shit that is heart breaking. Good luck man, even the thought of losing my other half makes me well up, I hope everything improves for you soon.

Offline ashy9

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1017 on: December 2, 2011, 06:59:36 am »
Oh Keith, I really feel for you I guess after all the fighting and supporting when the worst happens it's the silence that would get to you. Think it's a great idea to get your doggie home - mine is my best pal and when I've been really upset about Mum she's always there and I sometimes feel that the pick up on your moods and help in some way. Glad the funeral was a celebration of Jo's life and her spirit which even from reading about her here seems so strong. x

Mum went back to Christies yesterday and her CA 125 levels are back up but not as high as they have been so that's a small relief. Has to have another scan and then they are talking about localised radiotherapy for the area that's troubling her the most. By god she's a fighter but it's been good for her to have had this break from treatment as it really took it out of her last time. Just hoping that the scan shows nothing out of the ordinary but I hate this part the most. It's the waiting for results etc thats the worst for me. Coming home for Chrissie for the first time in 5 years as Mum wants us all home and waking up on Xmas day in her house - hopefully will be great memories that we can all cherish.

Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1018 on: December 2, 2011, 08:09:54 am »
Thanks everyone. Starting to sleep better and Ollie's home at nights and the weekend now. Still tough obviously but it seems I'm getting there regarding the sleep. Still not sorted the house out yet, just not really had time as back at work full time now, maybe just a quick tidy up then sort it properly when I'm off over xmas.

Had a load of old photos off Joanne's parents so I've been scanning them to keep and it's great looking at the old photos that I've never seen and posted a load on Facebook so all her old friends and other family can always see them.

Still not been to the Lilac Centre, again, just not had time with work. Think the donations stand at around £650 with a bit more to come yet, so hopefully someone, somewhere down the line can get some benefit out of it.

Bury the ashes this afternoon, bought a plot in the cemetery so we have our own little space to remember Joanne. Then just the usual boring but important aspects of these occasions of getting my life back on track, car to sell, house to sort out, send passports, insurance etc back and the usual little things that tend to take all your spare time up.

Going to get myself a lovely big box to keep some momentos of Joanne in, save all the cards I've got and our anniversary cards from the end of Oct and quite a few other bits of pieces, all there to be opened and poured over when the need suits.

Mum went back to Christies yesterday and her CA 125 levels are back up but not as high as they have been so that's a small relief. Has to have another scan and then they are talking about localised radiotherapy for the area that's troubling her the most. By god she's a fighter but it's been good for her to have had this break from treatment as it really took it out of her last time. Just hoping that the scan shows nothing out of the ordinary but I hate this part the most. It's the waiting for results etc thats the worst for me. Coming home for Chrissie for the first time in 5 years as Mum wants us all home and waking up on Xmas day in her house - hopefully will be great memories that we can all cherish.

I know exactly how you feel about the waiting and not knowing, it's a tough time indeed.

Hope you have a great Xmas and New Year with you all together, nothing more could a mum want. All the best for the future. :wave
« Last Edit: December 2, 2011, 11:20:25 am by keithcun »
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Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1019 on: December 2, 2011, 08:31:16 am »
Good luck today Keith, i hope it goes as well as it can.

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Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1020 on: December 2, 2011, 09:41:08 am »
Good luck today Keith, i hope it goes as well as it can.

YNWA.

Cheers pal. Should be OK, no service or anything, just me, Jo's parents and sister and whoever does the deed at the crem. In and out job if you like.
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1021 on: December 2, 2011, 06:24:42 pm »
Good luck today Keith, i hope it goes as well as it can.

YNWA.

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1022 on: December 2, 2011, 06:27:03 pm »
Good luck today Keith
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1023 on: December 3, 2011, 01:27:11 am »
Cheers pal. Should be OK, no service or anything, just me, Jo's parents and sister and whoever does the deed at the crem. In and out job if you like.
Hard hard lines, mate.  Your loss has caused copious tears throughout the RAWK Empire.  She's probably gobsmacked now that she's able to learn just how many people are grieving for her.  And for you.

I hope you have some work, hobby or pastime to throw yourself into to get through the lonely periods.  You've certainly got loads of us if you need it, but we're just your imaginary friends as my Lady likes to call you lot.

If you can afford it and if it makes sense, you might think about moving house and starting afresh.  You'll always have your memories, but you might not need the constant reminders of who's not there when she's alive and well in your heart.  You'll speak to her all the time and she'll have your back until you join her, but you can't let yourself fall apart.  You sound like you've got a great grip on the realities and I'm sure you two had many discussions about this.  You must know that she would want you to find some positives and begin the next chapter of your life.  My guess is that your guardian angel will pull as many strings as poss to make it happy and successful if only for the valiant and priceless support you gave her.

Who knows better than you that YNWA?

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Offline rusty-la

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1024 on: December 3, 2011, 01:45:02 am »
Keith I don't know what to say.

Your situation is so difficult but reading your posts is so inspirational.

Good luck mate, I don't know what to add, but good luck. I'm lost for words really but I wanted to say something.

This is a rubbish post, I just wanted to empathise. Sorry




Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1025 on: December 3, 2011, 04:48:26 pm »
Hard hard lines, mate.  Your loss has caused copious tears throughout the RAWK Empire.  She's probably gobsmacked now that she's able to learn just how many people are grieving for her.  And for you.

I hope you have some work, hobby or pastime to throw yourself into to get through the lonely periods.  You've certainly got loads of us if you need it, but we're just your imaginary friends as my Lady likes to call you lot.

If you can afford it and if it makes sense, you might think about moving house and starting afresh.  You'll always have your memories, but you might not need the constant reminders of who's not there when she's alive and well in your heart.  You'll speak to her all the time and she'll have your back until you join her, but you can't let yourself fall apart.  You sound like you've got a great grip on the realities and I'm sure you two had many discussions about this.  You must know that she would want you to find some positives and begin the next chapter of your life.  My guess is that your guardian angel will pull as many strings as poss to make it happy and successful if only for the valiant and priceless support you gave her.

Who knows better than you that YNWA?

Was at work all this week and a few days before the funeral the previous week, no point pottering around at home feeling sorry for myself, nobody gains doing that, especially me. I get where you're coming from about the house, but it's a house we've lived in for over 17 years now and it's pretty much finished to how we wanted it. Couldn't go through the process of leaving if I'm honest, certainly not whilst I'm on my own as it holds to many good memories and happy times. It's strange really as most of the problems are in my head if I'm honest, I've been looking at some old photos as I mentioned earlier and I get great joy, not sadness, but there's one photo in there that breaks my heart. Jo's sister took it at the Ritz when I booked them in for tea and it was took just over 2 weeks before Jo passed away. They'd been looking forward to it for ages, but there's a photo that Jo's sister took at the table and it haunts me, it really does, her eyes, her expression and the most obvious, no smile and she's looking away from the camera, honestly, it looks like she knows, as if she can see that the end is nigh. That is the only photo out of hundreds that makes me sad, all the others make me happy.

If I'm honest, this week has been better than last, I'm managing to sleep longer and it's just a matter of time, simple as that. I know it will get easier.

Thanks for the comments, everything is taken on board and much appreciated.  :wave

Keith I don't know what to say.

Your situation is so difficult but reading your posts is so inspirational.

Good luck mate, I don't know what to add, but good luck. I'm lost for words really but I wanted to say something.

This is a rubbish post, I just wanted to empathise. Sorry

You're not on your own either, because a lot of people are in the same position and myself in all honestly. Unfortunately, that's life, you've just got to get on and deal with the problems it throws at you and as they say, if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger.

Off out tonight anyway, meeting up with a load of mates at a do, so I'll have a few scoops, plenty of jelly jawing and a good sleep after. Thanks. :wave
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Offline rusty-la

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1026 on: December 3, 2011, 07:40:31 pm »
Have a great night Keith, keep posting mate.

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1027 on: December 3, 2011, 07:51:26 pm »
Heartbreaking stuff Keith, sincere best wishes for the future bud.
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1028 on: December 3, 2011, 08:39:07 pm »
As a previous contributor to this thread when I lost my mum to this disease I pop in from time to time and it never fails to break your heart reading about what others have gone through recently.  I can;t believe it'll be a year next month when I was posting about this disease taking my mum, and just want to wish all the best to those recently bereaved or currently fighting this disease.

Offline Lucas21

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1029 on: December 3, 2011, 11:57:28 pm »
Just at the funeral of my ex's mother today. I only knew her for 7 years and thought the world of her.
11 years ago she was told that one year would be the best she could hope for!
She defied that death sentence and witnessed her daughters 21st, her own mothers 90th birthday, numerous graduations and general family outings that she lived for. An amazing fighting spirit that will be greatly missed by myself and many of the lives she touched. Unbelievable defiance of a death sentence and hopefully encouragement to others to keep fighting. Rest in peace my friend. x

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1030 on: December 4, 2011, 07:00:56 pm »
Not cancer but still... lost a friend today who was possibly the biggest Liverpool fan I knew. Had a tumor removed recently and was going well and on the mend. On his last night in hospital before he was meant to be going home and he passed away unexpectedly at 5am. Up there with Shanks now. YNWA!
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1031 on: December 8, 2011, 01:47:06 am »
So, I wanted to post a follow-up regarding what I had posted about back in August, with my cancer and surgery then. While the doctors were confident they had gotten everything out of there, and that the lymph nodes that had shown up as irregular but that a biopsy showed nothing in them should go back to normal, I was still kind of holding my breath until my first follow-up CT scan.

Well, I had my follow-up CT scan the other week, and went in to meet with the doctor the other day, and everything from it came back clean. No more signs on cancer, lymph nodes went back to normal, everything looks good. So, I feel very relieved.

Of course, I'm going to have to continue to go for CT scans periodically, and it could reoccur (although the cancer it ended up being after they removed it and tested it fully was one with a lower reoccurrence rate than the one they had initially thought it was, so, that was good too), so that's something I'm going to have to deal with for a while. Still, as I said, I had been kind of holding my breath since the surgery until this follow-up to know that they really did get it all out of there, and feel much better now that I know that they did.

Thank you very much to everyone for all the kind thoughts and everything, it's been very much appreciated. And thoughts and prayers to everyone else dealing with this sort of thing as well.

Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1032 on: December 8, 2011, 03:33:30 am »
Glad to hear you're on the mend Terrisus.

YNWA
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Offline keithcun

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1033 on: December 8, 2011, 06:53:54 am »
So, I wanted to post a follow-up regarding what I had posted about back in August, with my cancer and surgery then. While the doctors were confident they had gotten everything out of there, and that the lymph nodes that had shown up as irregular but that a biopsy showed nothing in them should go back to normal, I was still kind of holding my breath until my first follow-up CT scan.

Well, I had my follow-up CT scan the other week, and went in to meet with the doctor the other day, and everything from it came back clean. No more signs on cancer, lymph nodes went back to normal, everything looks good. So, I feel very relieved.

Of course, I'm going to have to continue to go for CT scans periodically, and it could reoccur (although the cancer it ended up being after they removed it and tested it fully was one with a lower reoccurrence rate than the one they had initially thought it was, so, that was good too), so that's something I'm going to have to deal with for a while. Still, as I said, I had been kind of holding my breath since the surgery until this follow-up to know that they really did get it all out of there, and feel much better now that I know that they did.

Thank you very much to everyone for all the kind thoughts and everything, it's been very much appreciated. And thoughts and prayers to everyone else dealing with this sort of thing as well.

That's marvelous news, hope everything works out in the future and it stays away for good.
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Offline Mr Boat

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1034 on: December 8, 2011, 10:11:20 am »
Great news....keep well mate.
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Offline The Sky I Scrape

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1035 on: December 8, 2011, 04:55:09 pm »
Good news mate! stay strong and eat well!! brocolli and beetroot!! will keep anything at bay!! chuffed for you!
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Offline Finn Solomon

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1036 on: December 8, 2011, 05:02:01 pm »
All the best, Terrisus.
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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1037 on: December 8, 2011, 08:40:24 pm »
Glad to hear you're on the mend Terrisus.

YNWA

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1038 on: December 8, 2011, 09:29:37 pm »
As a previous contributor to this thread when I lost my mum to this disease I pop in from time to time and it never fails to break your heart reading about what others have gone through recently.  I can;t believe it'll be a year next month when I was posting about this disease taking my mum, and just want to wish all the best to those recently bereaved or currently fighting this disease.
Year for me next month that my Dad passed too mate. Stay strong for that and Christmas too.
My sympathies with you all, some very impressive people around who seem to be coping amazingly with the horror of it. And some fantastic advice around too. Best thread on the boards for me, in a way.

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: Cancer
« Reply #1039 on: December 8, 2011, 09:30:43 pm »
Not cancer but still... lost a friend today who was possibly the biggest Liverpool fan I knew. Had a tumor removed recently and was going well and on the mend. On his last night in hospital before he was meant to be going home and he passed away unexpectedly at 5am. Up there with Shanks now. YNWA!
Very sorry to hear that, friend.