Topic: Embarassing texts sent to the wrong person

[BRdispatch05]

"Love you, hope to see you soon!!"

Sent to my ex of three years.

 Not the best opener, but it was horrible. Thought there may be a few better ones out there 

[Gifted Right Foot]

haha unlucky.  I sent texts to my sister instead of my mate when i was trying to get him to come out at some ungodly hour.  I was blind and saying random stupid shit like calling him, well her, a slut and a whore.  Didn't realise for like 5 texts and felt so bad.  Messaged her a mad apology in the morning and she just laughed about it.  I changed his name in my phone so it didn't happen again.  I've accidentally called someone when i was having sex once too if that counts.  Thankfully i just called one of my mates and not a family member or something. 

[WooltonDave]

and not a family member or something.

  You're not Josef Fritzel are you!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Christ, i could write a book here

[jammy dodger]

I was engaging in a bit of sexual banter with my girlfriend at the time....texted her the phrase "I'm going to make your vagina cry" only to find that I'd sent it to my mum.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I was engaging in a bit of sexual banter with my girlfriend at the time....texted her the phrase "I'm going to make your vagina cry" only to find that I'd sent it to my mum.

Yea, i did the same mate


Actually, who the fuck says ' im going to make your vagina cry ' You gonna look at it?

[Kopite B205]

I'm going to make your vagina cry? Really?

[Raul!]

Yea, i did the same mate

Actually, who the fuck says ' im going to make your vagina cry ' You gonna look at it?

I know.  Everyone knows that the correct phrase is "make your pussy weep".

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Personally, ive used ' im gonna go postal on your pussy ' but thats about it. Probably.

On topic though i did send a text to the wrong person once. I intimated that they should be on their bed playing with their toys and ill be right over. Sent it to an ex by mistake. I got out of it tho...

[DutchRed]

Something translating to 'fuck off, you boggle-eyed gobshite' to my grandfather instead of my mate who was trying to rub something in wasn't too good.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

I'm going to make your vagina cry

Who says romance is dead?

[MichaelA]

The thread title says 'embarrassing' so please spare us the extremes of your own sexual crudity and borderline misogyny.

[Cantona]

"You're a winner and the perfect manager to take over from me."

Text from Ferguson to Moyes instead of Mourinho.

[Haemoglobin]

Hah, nice avatar mate! Suits yous 



Me, I've sent just the word "Cunt." to a girl I was wooing instead of a wum friend. She wasn't too into that sort of language anyway, and I'd been on my absolutely best behavoir at all times before that misstep. It was going pretty flawlessly. Suppose she would have had to find out eventually that I'm a foulmouthed twat IRL

[Chivasino]

Not really a text but a video on whatsapp.

In a group of just us lads there is a perverse battle raging to see who can send the most fucked up video. I was half asleep on the train on my way to work. My mate sends a video. I'm thinking it's another fucked up video as that's all he seems to send. I don't even bother opening it and immediately reply with a video that included a Man, woman and a Dog. I'll let you imagination loose on the actual content of the video.

My mate had actually sent a funny, not crude, video to a group that included all the women in our circle of family and friends. Including my Mrs, her best mates, my sister-in-laws and other cousins. This was the group I had replied to. When I realised what I had done I wanted to just die.

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

Hahaha. Surely you've got to complete the story chivasino. Do they still look at you funny?

This is why I rarely text, and truth be told, I'm not much good at keeping up with apps / phone gadgets or bothering to learn these things. Have a very basic cellphone, mostly call if necessary, prefer not to carry it with me if I can get away with that.

[Chivasino]

Hahaha. Surely you've got to complete the story chivasino. Do they still look at you funny?

Luckily the wife saw the funny side of it.

[JerseyKloppite]

Not a text but an email.

Was sent a group email by a guy who ran a sports club at uni setting out the team for the first half of term. It included a complete prick who I didn't see eye to eye with, and who was seeing my ex, which was all still very raw. There were strong suggestions, which turned out to be true, that he'd made a move on her while we were still together, which contributed strongly to mine and my mates' suspicions that he was a dickhead.

I replied to the guy running the club to say 'look, I don't like this guy, there's been all these issues and I don't fancy training with him two or three times a week, let alone competitions etc, I'm not that fussed and I'll drop out' (it was my last term at uni and frankly I had more important things to focus on).

Accidentally replied all. To everyone in the club, including the guy and the rest of the team, and the ex. Felt awful after I'd done it to be honest, whatever our differences it was not a very polite thing to do and was embarassing for all. Had to send a follow up to the guy running the club and apologise to the guy I'd had the issues with, which wasn't much fun.

You live and learn. I laugh about it now.

[Haemoglobin]

^ It's the sudden moment of realisation that's the absolute worst. I wasn't gona go to jail or anything, but my blood just ran cold when it dawned on me. It's hilarious later, but for all my joyous use of downtown vocabulary I was brought up well, I tend to very charming and polite in the appropriate circumstances, so the thought of this quite sweet, demure young girl just receiving a random message calling her a cunt out of the blue from a fella she'd only just recently met, who could well be a 'orrible nutter in disguise, was mortifying.

[ManchesterBlue]

Notoriously accident prone HR manager at a former employer had to send two emails out regarding a new employee. One was the standard welcome email sent to the whole company introducing the new guy and the other to the new employee setting out his terms and conditions including salary and benefits. Of course he got the two mixed up so we all got to see how much the new guy was on.

[Paul JH]

I was engaging in a bit of sexual banter with my girlfriend at the time....texted her the phrase "I'm going to make your vagina cry" only to find that I'd sent it to my mum.

Who the FUCK says 'I'm going to make your VAGINA CRY?'

 

Some embarrassing revelations about chat up lines in here, rather than texts sent to the wrong person!

[SeanAxion]

I had one the other way around in work. Had a girl who worked for me call and say she couldn't make it into work one night because she was stuck in Stoke and the trains had been cancelled. I wasn't happy but there was sod all I could do so just said fine and left it at that. 30 seconds later she sends a text saying she's just called in work sick and can go get pissed (or something along those lines.) to me instead of her mate.

I replied 'good for you, you're sacked you bad meff'. She called straight back and tried to wing it (fair play) but when she realised the jig was up decided to go on about how she wasn't a bad meff...! I think that hurt her more than becoming unemployed.

[DanA]

I had one the other way around in work. Had a girl who worked for me call and say she couldn't make it into work one night because she was stuck in Stoke and the trains had been cancelled. I wasn't happy but there was sod all I could do so just said fine and left it at that. 30 seconds later she sends a text saying she's just called in work sick and can go get pissed (or something along those lines.) to me instead of her mate.

I replied 'good for you, you're sacked you bad meff'. She called straight back and tried to wing it (fair play) but when she realised the jig was up decided to go on about how she wasn't a bad meff...! I think that hurt her more than becoming unemployed.

Can't believe you got away with calling someone a meff while sacking them. You'd get bent over here I Australia if she claimed unfair dismissal.

[ChaChaMooMoo]

I was engaging in a bit of sexual banter with my girlfriend at the time....texted her the phrase "I'm going to make your vagina cry" only to find that I'd sent it to my mum.

 

[CraigDS]

Can't believe you got away with calling someone a meff while sacking them. You'd get bent over here I Australia if she claimed unfair dismissal.

You would in the UK if she took it further.

[Haemoglobin]

Maybe he's a pimp?

[Red_Irishman]

I was engaging in a bit of sexual banter with my girlfriend at the time....texted her the phrase "I'm going to make your vagina cry" only to find that I'd sent it to my mum.

Oh god, id curl up and die there and then.

[AlphaDelta]

Not a text, but a work email sent in error came close to giving me heart failure on the spot.

I was emailing my mate in a different office as we both worked for very well known civil service departments, and the topic of our wisdom was a forthcoming wedding of a mutual friend that we were both attending - he was taking his missus and I was having a moral conundrum on which female colleague to take with me.

Needless to say I made my choice and emailed him my findings, it went something like thus;

"Not gonna ask that (insert name of woman A) as she is a mingebag with the ale and also has t1ts like Spaniels ears, have asked that (insert name of woman B) from finance as she's sound and got a boss arse"

Feeling rather smug with myself I pressed send and coiled back in horror as I realised who I had sent it to - yes, Miss Spaniels Ears herself!!!! I literally started sweating as a hot flush came over me as I frantically tried to recall the email (damn you Microsoft Outlook!). Needles to say the email couldnt be recalled as it was opened immediately. I was literally shaking in terror as the magnitude of what I had just sent dawned on me.

When the reply was forthcoming it merely said,

"I guess that email wasnt meant for "

Never felt guilt like it.............ever! 

[Alf]

I thought I'd text my mate 'have you gone for a shit' during an afternoon on the ale when he disappeared. Only to find out later I'd sent it to my bird.

[Mashy-rawr!nooo]

Sent a message suppose to be for an ex-girlfriend of mine accidently to an ex-gf before her who I told her flat that I had no contact with her anymore.

I had alot of answering to do.

[AndyInVA]

i had a few texts to 'the wrong women' and since that I have now managed to train myself to always look at the top of the screen to see who it is being sent before i press send

this physical conditioning has saved me a few times now

[۩ Imperator ۩]

My sister texted me asking me when I intended to pop the question to my girlfriend (knowing I'd bought the ring). My reply was "On Sunday afternoon, assuming I can manage to coax her out for a walk." My reply, however, was somehow sent in error not to my sister but to my girlfriend. This made for some weird and fanciful explanations as I tried to cover my tracks.

[Learpholl]

Again an embarrassing email instead of text.

I was quizzing a few work mates with the "Name 8 players that have played for 3 of the traditional top 4 in England and a Spanish team" question.

An email from our manager to every department and every manager about promotions for a few peolpe goes out, I read it, think no more of it.

My mate sends me a reply "Zenden?". I congratulated him on his successful answer and then another one of the lads came up to me and pointed out that he had somehow done a "reply to all" to the email from our manager which as I said, included all the departments and all the other managers. We were in stiches for about 10 minutes and you could hear a ripple of laughter going up the office. Those who know Zenden and those who don't were equally confused.

My auto-sig on emails contained Zenden for a while after that

[DeLeiva]

I have done some shockers in my time but the worse was:

My GF at the time (now my finance) was leaving OZ to come back to the UK and we were due to not see each other for 2 and a half months before I headed over to live here.

As you can imagine it was a pretty emotional goodbye at the Airport and as I walked back to the car I sent a very tearful and totally
over the top message to her to read in the departures lounge, a lasting reminder of me and how much I cared about her...........

Got home, no message back from her..... Then my phone buzzed.......

MY AUNTIE: I know you love me, but not like this.

The story of "The Message" as it's known in my family spread like wild fire and needless to say everyone
was giving loads about being a soppy git.

[SeanAxion]

Can't believe you got away with calling someone a meff while sacking them. You'd get bent over here I Australia if she claimed unfair dismissal.

Yeah you're right. I would never imagine doing it if say I was in an office job but in my line of work it's a different atmosphere. Thinking about it I may have text her calling her a meff then gave her the bullet when she rang. It was a few years ago now. Anyhoo she was a meff so no regrets on my part.

[Roady]

we were all in the pub a few years ago when my mate sent a text asking another mate if he fancied a pint or ten.He sent the text"are you coming for a pint you fat bastard" no reply for ages, then the response was "who is this?" to which he replied..."you know who this is you fat fuck". ...there was no response. The next day we were all in the pub and the said friend turned up.Me mate asked why he didnt come out last night after the texts."whas texts? he replied.Cut a long story short my mate had bought a new phone with a new number/sim and given his old phone to his mum ....she saw the funny side

[please, I have my reasons for it but...]

Worse for me. Not a text, not even an e-mail.

I once rang my friend's home. Telling him that our clique will meet at 8. My friend picks up the phone and the conversation goes like this.

My friend, "Alo."
Me, "Hey, fat fuck. We're meeting at 8 at X's home. Come on time you son of a bitch."
My friend, "Who's this?"
Me, "Stupid fuck, don't act like you're deaf. You know who is this."

Turns out it was my friend's father who sounded exactly like him. Fortunately, that situation happened quite a lot before so he kinda saw the funny side.

[The 5th Benitle]

My GF at the time (now my finance)

Interesting typo.

[DeLeiva]

Interesting typo.

HAHAHA

Honestly..... It's a genuine relationship.......

Funny enough we've had the Vicar over twice in the last week, cause I'm Australian we need a common marriage licence.
As part of the licence the Chester Diocese require the Vicar to check we live together.

Poor bloke didn't have to bottle to tell us prior to our application being accepted this week.

[The 1989 Brit Awards]

Yeah you're right. I would never imagine doing it if say I was in an office job but in my line of work it's a different atmosphere. Thinking about it I may have text her calling her a meff then gave her the bullet when she rang. It was a few years ago now. Anyhoo she was a meff so no regrets on my part.

Maybe he's a pimp?