Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson

[Terry de Niro]

How about one for New year?

To the tune of Hokey Cokey

You scratch your arse
Then rub your face
While your so - called tactics
Are all over the place

You look like an owl
And you are a disgrace
That's what it's all about...

Ooooh, do one Roy Hodgson
Ooooh, do one Roy Hodgson
Ooooh, do one Roy Hodgson

Arsed scratched
Face rubbed
Tara lar...

[Mouth]

I've got some lyrics, just dont have a tune

Oh son of hod, dear fucking god
You clueless owl faced fucking sod

Thats as far as I've got with that one. Then there is this as well.....

Oh I'd like to run you through a carwash, but instead of water we'll use cow shit... although thats not really a song as much as its a christmas wish.

[jooneyisdagod]

Its nice to have a thread full of Christmas carols dedicated to Roy.  After all, he is proof that God does exist.  He must have prayed really hard in the summer.  :rolleyes

[kKeLvInNn]

Last Christmas we held on to Masch
But the very next year, we gave him away
This year to save us from tears
Roy signed up someone special

Last Christmas we held on to Masch
But the very next year, we gave him away
This year to save us from tears
Roy signed up someone special

Once good and now shit
Clubs kept their distance, but he still catch Roy eye
Danish maestro. Do you recognize him?
Well he's been rotting, it doesn't surprise me

(Christian Poulsen)
Roy wrapped Aqua up and signed him
With a cheque saying "5 million" and meant it
Now I know what a flop Roy've been
But if there is money now I know Roy'd waste it again

[thechulloran]

hark now hear the kopites sing
a new manager we want today
and we will demand forever more
as Hodgson has had his day

[Hunter Thompson]

Away we're no danger
Home team's will is the law
We have no chance of winning
We just play for the draw

Our stars are not shining
We're a fucking disgrace
While our 'manager' Hodgson
Tries to rub off his face

[mick_travis]

Another Fairytale of New York edited remix -

The boys of the RAWK choir
Were singing "Roy go away"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old fogie on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip on that bench
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

[minusone]

Jingle Bells, out football smells, we never win away.
Hodgson's fucked and we're out of luck, cos Poulsens here to stay, HEY.

[minusone]

On the first game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the second game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Everton above,
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the third game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fourth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fifth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the sixth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the seventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eighth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the ninth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the tenth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eleventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the twelfth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No Europe coming,
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Mereiles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

[zero zero]

There's really good ones one here. Some of you are really talented, I wish I had that talent.

Meireles - on - the - wings...

I'm getting funny looks off Mrs. zero zero because evry time I read this I crack up

[Finn Solomon]

Minusone

[Jin]

Dashing through the snow
Fuck off Roy

[Jagged Princess]

Minusone

Plus two  Minusone

[Didi_ram]

Away at St James'
No points for the reds,
No closing down Carroll
The ball's in the net,

Roy's rubbing his face
Has this man got a clue ?
We're so fucking shocking
On the road it's untrue.

I love my dear Red men
Come win lose or draw,
But Roy Fucking Hodgson
Please walk out the door.

You can't win away
Against shite like the Toon,
You sit there and moan
And just look like a loon.

LMAO.Thats wonderful.
Oh wait.Thats our manager.

[Didi_ram]

On the first game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the second game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Everton above,
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the third game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fourth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the fifth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the sixth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the seventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eighth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the ninth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the tenth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the eleventh game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

On the twelfth game of the Season,
Roy Hodgson gave to me
No Europe coming,
"good draws" a-hyping,
No clean sheets a-keeping,
Blackpool are dancing,
Fans want the King in,
Fringe players hopes dimming,
Agger never playing,
Meireles - on - the - wings...
Sitting bottom third,
Christian Poulsen,
Everton above
And Paul fucking Konchesky.

I assume your username signifies our goal difference.
You are amazing.

[loon the red]

*Tune of Let It Snow*

Ohh the table is looking frightful
But Roy still looks delightful
We're shit and we're playing slow
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go

... this one is tops...!!

...erm... or rather mid-table!!

[Milly]

Minus One's 12 Days of Christmas is the stuff of Legend.....

[MrGrumpy]

To the tune of Away in a Manger

1, Away from fortress Anfield
We can't bloody win
With Reina , Torres and Soto
This is a mortal sin

Roy has no professional pride
He has no sense of shame
He may have mates at the Guardian
But Roy is to blame

2, We lost badly to the Geordies
To the bitters and the both Mancs
We lost to Stoke and Spurs
And against Blackpool we stank

Fernando Torres can't find the net
But we all know he's world class
Roy you can take your LMA award
And shove it up your hairy arse


3, Please go Roy, just do one
I never wanted you here
If you go now then I will
Have a happy new year

Take the shite that you signed
Cole, Poulsen and PFK
If you do this in December
I'll be smiling on Christmas day

 

[jacqqq]

Rocking around the bottom three
We use to be near the top
Man for man marking for all to see
When will this shite stop.

Rocking around the bottom three
We have nobody on the wing
Poulsens on and giving it a try
And we're all praying.

You will get a sentimental
Feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's bring back Rafa,
Agger sings Roy's a shite Gaffa.

Good one !!!!

[Stanno06]

Glad i came into this thread this morning brightened my day it has!

[Em5y]

While Geordies polished their cocks last night
All seated in their ground
The Angel of the North looked down
And saw the Kopite's frowns.
"Fear not," said he "You men in Red"
"I'll ease your troubled mind"
"John Henry will appoint The King
When Hodgson has resigned"

[Manav]

[Ramon]

Another Fairytale of New York edited remix -

Brilliantly done mate.

[HFD]

I've got some lyrics, just dont have a tune......

Oh I'd like to run you through a carwash, but instead of water we'll use cow shit... although thats not really a song as much as its a christmas wish.

A bit random, but it had me in stitches

[Dam Sodd]

Jingle Bells

Trudging through the snow
From another dull display
Sad cos we all know
That we cant win away
Tactics are shocking
Signings that are shite
Make me want to shout and sing
A sacking song tonight

O! Jingle bells Hodgson smells
Fuck him off today
Or we'll be in the Championship
Without Torres in May
O! Jingle bells Hodgson smells
Fuck him off today
Or we'll be in the Championship
Without Torres in May

About four years ago
We got took for a ride
But we saw through the crap
We knew the cowboys lied
So listen well Fenway
Our word is strong and true
Get someone decent in right now
Or we'll be runnin after you!

Repeat chorus till the owl has flown

[Get]

Roy's away win is as Rare,
like Mr clean with hair

[TepidT2O]

Not seen this thread before.

Fucking genius.

Literally crying with laughter.

Would be brilliant if the kop sang one of these at Xmas.

[Terry de Niro]

Jingle Bells

Trudging through the snow
From another dull display
Sad cos we all know
That we cant win away
Tactics are shocking
Signings that are shite
Make me want to shout and sing
A sacking song tonight

O! Jingle bells Hodgson smells
Fuck him off today
Or we'll be in the Championship
Without Torres in May
O! Jingle bells Hodgson smells
Fuck him off today
Or we'll be in the Championship
Without Torres in May

About four years ago
We got took for a ride
But we saw through the crap
We knew the cowboys lied
So listen well Fenway
Our word is strong and true
Get someone decent in right now
Or we'll be runnin after you!

Repeat chorus till the owl has flown

Brilliant..   

[RedinExile]

Some immense stuff in here haha

[Discipline]

"Fuck off."

To the tune of an angry man. 

[Dam Sodd]

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

God rest ye Fenway gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
For King Kenny the Saviour
There is no role to play
Of silverware we have no need
Nor fourth place anyway
Just hidings from Blackpool under Roy
LMA Roy
Good hidings from Blackpool under Roy

[gemkopqueen]

This thread is hilarious, has really cheered me up and brightened my day   

[12Kings]

Woydolf the wed nose waindeer

[Dam Sodd]

Woydolf the wed nose waindeer

Had a vewwy shiney nose
And with the way he wubbed it
You would even say it glowed

[Zlen]

Whoyamm: Last season

Last season, seventh was bad
But the very next year, they said it's okay
This year, the manager's seat
Was given to someone special

[Dr Manhattan]

Some of these should be made in to a hymn book.

[Phil M]

Chopper made me do this.


George Michael - " (Roy's) Last Christmas"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DfdED1SWX8

Last Christmas we never thought,
There would come a day, they'd send Rafa away,
This year, with relegation fears,
We're gonna need someone as special

Last Christmas we never thought,
There would come a day, they'd send Rafa away,
This year, with relegation fears,
We're gonna need someone as special (special, special)

Used by the yanks, left high and dry
Liverpool in turmoil, it would make you cry,
Now Roy Hodgson, is the boss at LFC,
Well, we're in thirteenth ninth, it doesn't surprise me!

A happy christmas? If John Henry can send it,
A note saying "thanks Roy but your time has ended",
"Now we know what a fool you've been,
It's taken us a while but we're American".,

Last Christmas...we never thought....(2x)

(Ohhh ---Ohh Ohh Baby)

Losing to Blackpool, scrapping with Allardyce,
Early cup exit, with no easy league ties,
Roy, we thought you were, someone to rely on,
They told us the big names needed your shoulder to cry on,
But faced with the media, you pour out your heart,
Telling the players that they must play their part,

Ooh, Ooh, Now we've found a new owner,
you can go somewhere else.

Last summer, you were given the start,
But there's a problem with the way, you want us to play,
Next year, to allay all our fears,
Please make way for someone special, special.

(chorus)

[RedRabbit]

Jesus Christ, Minusone's is brilliant!   
Can't stop humming it and then shouting out "And Paul Fuck-ing Kon-ches-ky". People are giving me some strange looks here I can tell ya!

[Ma Vie en Rouge]

We'd got five points away from home,
by Christmas day, by Christmas day,
we'd got five points away from home,
by Christmas day with hoofballing.

And all five points were total shite,
were total shite, were total shite,
and all five points were total shite,
because of Roy's hoofballing.

Torres was bad, Gerrard was poor,
by Christmas day, by Christmas day,
and all the team forgot to pass
by Christmas day by hoofballing.

Pray, whither went the form of old,
the mighty reds, the scoring goals?
The team that terrified the world,
by Christmas day is a-falling.

We sailed away from Rafa's plan,
the dreams of cups delighting fans,
We paid him off to get this man,
who now has our team hoofballing.

But all the fools one day will see,
on Christmas day, on Christmas day,
we wrecked ourselves, paid Purslow's fee,
and now our team is hoofballing.

And all the Kop end fans will sing,
for someone else, for someone else,
a man who brings us glorious things,
on Christmas day in the morning.

Then shall we all rejoice again,
be great again, be tall again,
the man who comes to sail us home,
please god, stop us from hoofballing.

[Dr Manhattan]

Deck The Hodge


Deck the Hodge and slap Konchesky
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
This is worse than watching Heskey
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fuck Insua and Alberto
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
There's these two lads who I do know
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

They're both old and utter dogshit
Fa la la la la, la la la la,
But my knob they'll surely nosh it
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Poulsen looks just like a lezbo
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
Must have bought him from the Netto
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Play Meireles as a winger
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Then rub your face and smell your fingers
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Wish you'd fuck off back to Fulham
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
'fore my heart slips out my rectum
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaaa!!