Topic: For REAL Relationship Issues. NOT your latest childish Tinder/Grindr FAIL!!!!!!!

[Effes]

Have to admit I rather enjoyed it as well

I was half expecting that.
I obviously cannot post here any more.
All the best everyone

[Mouth]

I was half expecting that.
I obviously cannot post here any more.
All the best everyone

It was a joke, don't spit the dummy over it, take it on the chin.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

As a tribute to his last post on RAWK, let us go through Effes' finest hour


http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=296861.msg10756997#msg10756997

amazingly, we are still covering the topic of relationship issues

[Crosby Nick]

It was a joke, don't spit the dummy over it, take it on the chin.

Yeah, don't have a cow man.

[Barneylfc∗]

Yeah, don't have a cow man.

[zero zero]

Well, that's a real shame.

[Crosby Nick]

Well, that's a real shame.

And to be serious for a second it is. All the jopkes (from me anyway!) are meant as a bit of fun. I loved the puns in the original thread. Hopefully Effes will be back.

[zero zero]

And to be serious for a second it is. All the jopkes (from me anyway!) are meant as a bit of fun. I loved the puns in the original thread.

Trust me Nick I can be as bad as anyone else. I even contemplated some sort of gag about Effes being 'hounded out'. I'm glad I didn't. There just comes a time when we might have to accept - that joke isn't funny anymore.

It's sad when a fellow Red doesn't feel he can post on here.

Hopefully Effes will be back.

I hope so too.

[BSBW]

Right BMW me arl China, there's been quite a bit of advice so far, how're you taking it? I'd like to kind of turn the original cheating question on it's head, if I may, and offer up another perspective.

What if your bird had said she'd cheated on you with another bird? Does that now cause confusion as to what way you should respond, do you now get a twitch in your kecks and encourage her to tell you more or do you still feel betrayed? Do you tell her you don't believe her and ask her to prove it? Do you spark her out, grab her phone and flick through her texts one handed?   

[adopted_scouser]

Just split up with my girlfriend of a year today.  Absolutely devastated.  I found out on Tuesday that while she was on a night out on Monday, she kissed a complete random, apologised 10000000x times, and said nothing else happened.  I was abit suspicious, I know there had been a lad sniffing around her for a few weeks that was out with her that night, but she insisted it wasn't him.

I was one of the first people to comment in this thread that cheating is cheating, and can never be forgiven.  It took every fibre of my being, but I said we could work past what happened.  I told her that I would have trust issues, she accepted it as she was willing to have me back at any cost.  I was at hers today, she was downstairs, and I stumbled onto her phone, and found out she had told her sister that it was infact the shitbag that had been sniffing around her, and not only was it a kiss but she slept with him too.  I gave her numerous opportunites to confess it was him, as something really didn't add up about the whole situation.  Now that she's been found out, I am getting called paranoid and all that shite for looking at her phone.  I have never been the kind of lad to do that, but after what she did I don't even know what kind of a lad I am at all now.

It took me 2 years after my last relationship to be able to say "I think you're ready to try this game again." as I was cheated on then too.  And I thought it would be unfair to jump into another relationship with trust issues, as there isn't much hope for any relationship with trust issues.  Especially if the poor girl had done nothing wrong to deserve them issues. 

On a strange note though, I had a dream we would break up 2 weeks ago.

I also had a dream last night that my dad had to give Karl Pilkington a lift to the airport.  Its worth not killing myself just yet to see if this comes true. 

[soxfan]

Just split up with my girlfriend of a year today...

Dump her and don't even THINK of going back.

[Mouth]

Good riddance. You're not paranoid when she's a cheater and you find evidence of her cheating.
Give yourself some time before you leap into another relationship. Perhaps your 'People Picker' needs some fine tuning? Avoid (and this isn't an exhaustive list):

1. Women who expect you to make them happy (they should be comfortable and secure in themselves)
2. Women who have more male friends than female ones
3. Women who insist on remaining friends with their exes
4. Women who have wild mood swings with no grey area in the middle
5. Women who are passive aggressive or sulk (bad communicators)
6. Women who use the term 'soulmate'

Just go gay, it will be easier.

[Circa1892]

I was abit suspicious, I know there had been a lad sniffing around her for a few weeks that was out with her that night, but she insisted it wasn't him.

It always is.

You're best shot of her. Had exactly the same thing happen (minus finding out about it on a phone) roughly this time last year, it fucking sucks for a long time mind.

I wouldn't let her, or the other one, give you real trust issues though. Don't let a couple of really shitty people ruin other people for you...

[zero zero]

Just go gay, it will be easier.

Well, Mouth, I freely admit that when I'm relaxing I prefer the company of men We're much simpler to deal with. Women who tend to be more sophisticated communicators than men, are far harder work. Not only what they say, but what they don't, subtle changes of tone or pauses in their speech. I'm sure I haven't had the last conversation with my wife which ends with me thinking "What the fuck was that all about?"

But the world is full of great women; fun, beguiling, strong, compassionate, perplexing, sexy, frustrating, confident, intriguing, warm, brave, honest and loyal. Our job is to find one of the many 'good ones'.

And if your girlfriend cheats on you boot them out immediately and don't look back. There's something very wrong with their value systems; the best gauge of future behaviour is their past behaviour.

[Draex]

Just go gay, it will be easier.

Mouth's dating method - linger around relationship threads find someone whose just had a bad breakup and offer the bromance card.. Before he knows it he's getting meatpie and gravy in a bin outside of Greenhalgh's.

Sorry to hear AS - fuck em liers are the worst, but you're better off out of it now if she was like that rather than later. Spend the christmas pressie money on yourself!

[zero zero]

She was none of the above.  Up until all of this, we had virtually never argued.  If there was an issue, we spoke about it like adults before it became bigger.  Have been in relationships before where communication is terrible and she says one thing and means another etc etc. 

Maybe she was just deceitful and thought she could get away with it? Always trust you gut (as you did). You knew there was someone orbiting, you even knew who it was. She either pursued this or let him pursue her. It didn't 'just happen'. She made a whole series of bad choices. One of which was having somebody around her who found her attractive. And the feeling was mutual. If she valued the relationship or her integrity she'd have avoided contact.

She failed the test drive. Her loss. Re-group and move on.

Sorry to hear AS - fuck em liers are the worst, but you're better off out of it now if she was like that rather than later. Spend the christmas pressie money on yourself!

There is always a bright side.

[Red Genius]

Anyone else here just not interested in relationships? not because you're a casanova... more because the apathy means you don't put yourself out there to potentially get hurt.

[lauz]

Anyone else here just not interested in relationships? not because you're a casanova... more because the apathy means you don't put yourself out there to potentially get hurt.

For a while I was, All of my ex's had cheated on me one way or another and couldn't be dealing with the hassle of games and emotions etc.

[Hinesy]

Whilst RAWK is delighted to be of a counselling service to the recently bereft of love, some of the posts in here are bordering on misogynistic never mind sexist, and whilst some of you with hardened and possibly wiser hearts may not adore the gentler sex, lets not be brutal, callous or twats in here when referring to women please.

[JerseyKloppite]

Just split up with my girlfriend of a year today.  Absolutely devastated.  I found out on Tuesday that while she was on a night out on Monday, she kissed a complete random, apologised 10000000x times, and said nothing else happened.  I was abit suspicious, I know there had been a lad sniffing around her for a few weeks that was out with her that night, but she insisted it wasn't him.

I was one of the first people to comment in this thread that cheating is cheating, and can never be forgiven.  It took every fibre of my being, but I said we could work past what happened.  I told her that I would have trust issues, she accepted it as she was willing to have me back at any cost.  I was at hers today, she was downstairs, and I stumbled onto her phone, and found out she had told her sister that it was infact the shitbag that had been sniffing around her, and not only was it a kiss but she slept with him too.  I gave her numerous opportunites to confess it was him, as something really didn't add up about the whole situation.  Now that she's been found out, I am getting called paranoid and all that shite for looking at her phone.  I have never been the kind of lad to do that, but after what she did I don't even know what kind of a lad I am at all now.

It took me 2 years after my last relationship to be able to say "I think you're ready to try this game again." as I was cheated on then too.  And I thought it would be unfair to jump into another relationship with trust issues, as there isn't much hope for any relationship with trust issues.  Especially if the poor girl had done nothing wrong to deserve them issues. 

On a strange note though, I had a dream we would break up 2 weeks ago.

I also had a dream last night that my dad had to give Karl Pilkington a lift to the airport.  Its worth not killing myself just yet to see if this comes true. 

Sorry to hear that, horrible thing to go through. Trust is a very difficult thing to rebuild with someone after is has been lost, particularly if lying is compounded by more lying. It sounds like you're best off being done with her and moving on.

Try not to let this damage your ability to trust more generally. I, somwhat naively, always try to meet new people with a logic of "why SHOULDN'T I trust this person", rather than wondering why I should trust them. I think it's a much healthier place to start a relationship with - you have to assume that people are basically decent or you will become paranoid.

Don't give up on women yet!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Aye, dont give up. My brother fucked my wife for ages behind my back and im in a happy relationship now. Doesnt have to be an underlying feeling of mistrust,  im not saying its easy but things can/will change for the better.

[Crosby Nick]

My brother fucked my wife for ages behind my back

The tantric bastard!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

That made me laugh heartily mate

[Hinesy]

[Crosby Nick]

That made me laugh heartily mate

Phew! Thought you'd mentioned it enough/it happened long enough ago that you could see the funny side.

[Red Genius]

Just when you think you had it rough, in strolls Carl and puts your whole life into perspective.

Am not sure i'd have been able to hold that down mate!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I see the funny side of it all. He got a fat chick and i got a fit one. Loooserrr   I just mention it to show that its not the end of the world no matter how bad it seems.

[Welshred]

My brother fucked my wife for ages behind my back

How did you feel at the time Mr Giggs?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Sheepish

[Red Genius]

Sheepish

Am literally crying with tears, thank you Carl haha

[Drinks Sangria]

Been seeing this girl for a few weeks, and basically all she ever seems interested in is sex. Was well pleased at first, as she's a very good looking girl. Recently though, I'd started to think I wanted something a bit more and decided to actually broach the subject of a relationship with her, as we only ever really talk about meaningless stuff. She turns to me and says something to the effect: 'No thanks, I've already got a boyfriend, I like just having fun with you.' Fucking bitch. Fucked her off now, but the whole episode has me feeling bad.

Granted I'd never actually asked her if she was with anyone, but you assume that when they agree on a date in the first place. Feel sorry for the fool who calls himself her boyfriend.

[Mouth]

Been seeing this girl for a few weeks, and basically all she ever seems interested in is sex. Was well pleased at first, as she's a very good looking girl. Recently though, I'd started to think I wanted something a bit more and decided to actually broach the subject of a relationship with her, as we only ever really talk about meaningless stuff. She turns to me and says something to the effect: 'No thanks, I've already got a boyfriend, I like just having fun with you.' Fucking bitch. Fucked her off now, but the whole episode has me feeling bad.

Granted I'd never actually asked her if she was with anyone, but you assume that when they agree on a date in the first place. Feel sorry for the fool who calls himself her boyfriend.

She didn't want anything from you but to fuck you?

And you have a problem with that??

[killer-heels]

[Red Genius]

She didn't want anything from you but to fuck you?

And you have a problem with that??

Come on lad, he likes the girl, don't be such a twunct.

Still a lesson learned, women can be wankers... it happens.

[whtwht]

She didn't want anything from you but to fuck you?

And you have a problem with that??

Thing is he wanted a relationship with her Mouth. Been in the same position myself , only to find out she was married with 2 kids  !!

[Crosby Nick]

Still a lesson learned, women can be wankers... it happens.

Sounds like she's gonna have to be now.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Thing is he wanted a relationship with her Mouth.

Turns out he got more than he bargained for there then.

[Mouth]

Come on lad, he likes the girl, don't be such a twunct.

Still a lesson learned, women can be wankers... it happens.

So, half of something is better than all of nothing.

I'm sure he will be much happier humping his fist into a sock.

[Red Genius]

So, half of something is better than all of nothing.

I'm sure he will be much happier humping his fist into a sock.

Not really lad, i let you rip the shit outta me... you got a cracking humour.

This poor lad laid his heart out, so have yer fun with my arse hole, leave the *sensible replys* to help him, he obviously is a young fruit.

By the way Mouth, Your mum still wear them apple catchers? fucking nightmare to claw off..

[AB LFC]

Girls sure do like to turn things around on us guys don't they? She cheats on you, it's our fault for finding out about it. She doesn't reply to a text for hours, it's our fault for not reminding her to text back.