Poll

Should gay couples be allowed to adopt?

Yes
183 (85.9%)
No
30 (14.1%)

Total Members Voted: 212

Voting closed: February 13, 2016, 11:10:24 am

Author Topic: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption  (Read 11442 times)

Offline The North Bank

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #40 on: November 20, 2015, 01:46:40 pm »
How's it not the same? What kind of bullying happens when a person is short vs when a person has 2 moms or 2 dads? I'm curious. It's your opinion and you can choose to defend it. I'm trying to understand what you mean by a different kind of bullying.

In my experience the only abuse that ranks alongside homosexually intended abuse is racial one, not short fat or ginger. We all vote based on our experiences and the options available in the poll.
The poll doesn't include what if and how about scenarios, just a straight forward question. 

And yes, I do worry about other kids finding out about a kid having same sex parents . If the kids where you are will recieve that news with understanding care and appreciation then you are in a lucky place.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2015, 01:51:21 pm by The North Bank »

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #41 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:05 pm »
In my experience the only abuse that ranks alongside homosexually intended abuse is racial one, not short fat or ginger.

So in that case, to give you a more relevant comparison - would you not allow a black, or black/white couple to adopt if they live in a predominately white area?

Offline Jake

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #42 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:43 pm »
In my experience the only abuse that ranks alongside homosexually intended abuse is racial one, not short fat or ginger. We all vote based on our experiences and the options available in the poll.
The poll doesn't include what if and how about scenarios, just a straight forward question.

So should short fat ginger black lesbians be allowed to adopt?

Anyone should be allowed to adopt as long as they are loving. Primary school kids, do they even know what being homosexual is? Secondary school, well they can get the shit kicked out of them for being homophobic bullies at that age.

I know some hetero scrotes with kids, I'd gladly take their kids off them and place them with same sex couples.
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Offline Les Willis

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #43 on: November 20, 2015, 01:52:02 pm »
I'd have preferred either a don't know or not arsed either way option really.

I'm fairly ambivalent but If I'm really being honest, I'd probably feel that being brought up by two mums would be better than being brought up by two dads. Purely for the reason that women are more nurturing by nature and (generally speaking) have a greater maternal instinct. That isn't to say that men can't bring children up single handedly (or even as a couple, I suppose), but the better option would be to have at least one woman involved in raising a child.

Offline The North Bank

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #44 on: November 20, 2015, 01:57:19 pm »
So in that case, to give you a more relevant comparison - would you not allow a black, or black/white couple to adopt if they live in a predominately white area?

Racial tolerance is a long way ahead of sexual orientation tolerance in this country. A black/white screen kiss doesn't create headlines and isn't called brave, it would have in the 70s. This is where we are with homosexuality.

Offline The North Bank

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #45 on: November 20, 2015, 02:01:39 pm »
If the poll was, do you prefer to be adopted by 2 gay men who looked after you or a mum and dad who were right c*nts and didn't give a sh*t about you, I'd have voted differently. But it doesn't , so in the meantime, if all things are equal, I think a mum and dad will be better, eventually it may not make a difference , we are not there yet, in my opinion.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2015, 02:03:18 pm by The North Bank »

Offline Chakan

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #46 on: November 20, 2015, 02:03:31 pm »
If the poll was do you prefer to be adopted by 2 gay men who looked you after or a mum and dad who were right c*nts and didn't give a sh*t about you, I'd have voted differently. But it doesn't , so in the meantime, if all things are equal, I think a mum and dad will be better, eventually it may not make a difference , we are not there yet, in my opinion.
But they are not equal are they?

See I don't the poll the same way as you, it's a blanket question of "Should gay couples have the same rights as a straight couple".

Offline Chakan

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #47 on: November 20, 2015, 02:07:44 pm »
I'd have preferred either a don't know or not arsed either way option really.

I'm fairly ambivalent but If I'm really being honest, I'd probably feel that being brought up by two mums would be better than being brought up by two dads. Purely for the reason that women are more nurturing by nature and (generally speaking) have a greater maternal instinct. That isn't to say that men can't bring children up single handedly (or even as a couple, I suppose), but the better option would be to have at least one woman involved in raising a child.

Possibly i'm not sure, I have no basis of comparison really, I have seen the pictures from Niel Patrick Harris and his family and they look like the happiest kids on the planet. That's 2 dads. Although having Niel Patrick Harris as a father could be the sole reason there. I have no idea.

Offline Les Willis

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #48 on: November 20, 2015, 02:10:10 pm »
I'd suggest that this website has a much more tolerant view on this subject than wider society as a whole, judging by the results - or people are scared to vote no for fear of being labeled bigoted, so vote yes anyway. This forum is very big on peer pressure as people are very vociferous when other people don't necessarily agree with the general consensus on any topic (be it general discussion or football threads). In my view you have to have massive bollocks to post against the party line on here.

EDIT TO ADD: If you surveyed the nation on this, I doubt you'd get 87% in favour. Possibly more 50/50.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #49 on: November 20, 2015, 02:11:06 pm »
Racial tolerance is a long way ahead of sexual orientation tolerance in this country. A black/white screen kiss doesn't create headlines and isn't called brave, it would have in the 70s. This is where we are with homosexuality.

I don't think same sex kisses/relationships are headline making among programs younger people watch (Holyoaks as one example). It's only the ones the older generations watch which tend to have a problem, but then even those rarely make headlines these days from what I see.

Offline Chakan

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #50 on: November 20, 2015, 02:12:07 pm »
I'd suggest that this website has a much more tolerant view on this subject than wider society as a whole, judging by the results - or people are scared to vote no for fear of being labeled bigoted, so vote yes anyway. This forum is very big on peer pressure as people are very vociferous when other people don't necessarily agree with the general consensus on any topic (be it general discussion or football threads). In my view you have to have massive bollocks to post against the party line on here.

The voting is anonymous so voting no won't alert anyone to how you voted. Defending it like The North Bank is the only way to reveal how you voted. Least he's had the bollocks to actually defend his position. While I may not agree with him it's still his opinion.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #51 on: November 20, 2015, 02:12:09 pm »
I'd suggest that this website has a much more tolerant view on this subject than wider society as a whole, judging by the results - or people are scared to vote no for fear of being labeled bigoted, so vote yes anyway. This forum is very big on peer pressure as people are very vociferous when other people don't necessarily agree with the general consensus on any topic (be it general discussion or football threads). In my view you have to have massive bollocks to post against the party line on here.

EDIT TO ADD: If you surveyed the nation on this, I doubt you'd get 87% in favour. Possibly more 50/50.

It's an anonymous survey mate, you don't need big bollocks to hit what you think when no one knows who voted what.

Offline Les Willis

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #52 on: November 20, 2015, 02:12:56 pm »
I don't think same sex kisses/relationships are headline making among programs younger people watch (Holyoaks as one example). It's only the ones the older generations watch which tend to have a problem, but then even those rarely make headlines these days from what I see.

I don't think that there's ever been a Gay adoption storyline though in any of the soaps and they are often ahead of the tide when it comes to these sort of issues.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #53 on: November 20, 2015, 02:15:24 pm »
I don't think that there's ever been a Gay adoption storyline though in any of the soaps and they are often ahead of the tide when it comes to these sort of issues.

I don't know mate, don't watch any of those crappy soaps. I seem to remember a few surrogate type kids to same sex marriages being on TV and not causing an uproar.

Just going by what I see headline wise, I don't think given the amount of same sex relationships on programs these days (and for the past decade probably) that it's headline making at all. Even less so among the younger generations who are the ones who have kids at school age these days.

Offline HighSix

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #54 on: November 20, 2015, 02:16:18 pm »
I'm fairly ambivalent but If I'm really being honest, I'd probably feel that being brought up by two mums would be better than being brought up by two dads. Purely for the reason that women are more nurturing by nature and (generally speaking) have a greater maternal instinct. That isn't to say that men can't bring children up single handedly (or even as a couple, I suppose), but the better option would be to have at least one woman involved in raising a child.

Didn't really know how to word it myself but agree completely with this post.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #55 on: November 20, 2015, 02:20:09 pm »
I'm fairly ambivalent but If I'm really being honest, I'd probably feel that being brought up by two mums would be better than being brought up by two dads. Purely for the reason that women are more nurturing by nature and (generally speaking) have a greater maternal instinct. That isn't to say that men can't bring children up single handedly (or even as a couple, I suppose), but the better option would be to have at least one woman involved in raising a child.

Didn't really know how to word it myself but agree completely with this post.

I get this argument more than the bullying one.

However for me you should look at this from a position of not knowing the gender or sexual orientation of the want-to-be adopters. As in do they have the required ability/whatever to nurture and bring up a kid. If the answer is no, be it if they are a man/woman/straight/gay then they shouldn't be allowed to adopt. If the answer is yes then they should.

Offline Red Viper

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #56 on: November 20, 2015, 02:25:44 pm »
The argument about society not being ready also doesn't wash with me.

If it isn't ready then it isn't going to change by preventing homosexual people the same rights heterosexual people are allowed. If anything that would have the opposite effect as it's saying to people that it's okay to treat gay people differently.

Sometimes society needs dragging kicking and screaming for change to happen. Was society ready for the civil rights movement back in the 60s? Probably not, but if it hadn't happened back then then racial issues nowadays would be alot more prevalent than they are.

Offline Les Willis

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #57 on: November 20, 2015, 02:25:48 pm »
I get this argument more than the bullying one.

However for me you should look at this from a position of not knowing the gender or sexual orientation of the want-to-be adopters. As in do they have the required ability/whatever to nurture and bring up a kid. If the answer is no, be it if they are a man/woman/straight/gay then they shouldn't be allowed to adopt. If the answer is yes then they should.

Yeah, you are right, the logical option is that it should be allowed in a loving relationship. My trouble is that on issues like this, my Mum and Dad were always slightly right of UKIP, so it's quite difficult to obliterate all of that Primary and secondary socialisation even if I do see myself as liberal.

Offline redmark

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #58 on: November 20, 2015, 02:25:54 pm »
I'd have preferred either a don't know or not arsed either way option really.

I'm fairly ambivalent but If I'm really being honest, I'd probably feel that being brought up by two mums would be better than being brought up by two dads. Purely for the reason that women are more nurturing by nature and (generally speaking) have a greater maternal instinct. That isn't to say that men can't bring children up single handedly (or even as a couple, I suppose), but the better option would be to have at least one woman involved in raising a child.

Having listened to the details of quite a lot of child protection cases from my partner (and proof-read many of her reports), gender seems to be perhaps one of the least relevant factors in whether someone is suitable to raise a child or not. Some mothers are absolutely horrific; a few have no 'nurturing' instincts at all, but in most those instincts are irrelevant when their decision making and lifestyle choices cause serious harm to their children. In some respects, women can be more vulnerable to being exploited and dominated, thus neglecting or endangering their children.


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Offline Claire.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #59 on: November 20, 2015, 02:26:07 pm »
Don't get the two men isn't as good as two women thing. Most of you are basing that off of being a bloke yourself and thinking it wouldn't work, many gay men who want to have kids and settle down are very domesticated and nurturing. Infact, considering the gay men and women I know... I think the fellas might be better at it ;D

Offline Red Viper

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #60 on: November 20, 2015, 02:29:33 pm »
Don't get the two men isn't as good as two women thing. Most of you are basing that off of being a bloke yourself and thinking it wouldn't work, many gay men who want to have kids and settle down are very domesticated and nurturing. Infact, considering the gay men and women I know... I think the fellas might be better at it ;D

Alot of the arguments in this thread have been based on pure assumptions.

"Kids will get bullied" - will they? Any evidence to back this up, probably not.

"Men aren't as nurturing as women" - again, says who? Maybe back in the 50s when kids called their dad's sir and probably only saw him at meal times. Most of the dad's I know are extremely nurturing and I've met plenty of mums who aren't.

Offline garcia-alonso

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #61 on: November 20, 2015, 02:31:19 pm »
Any teachers have any input on this? Most larger city schools will have kids with same-sex parents these days. Do the kids get any more grief than the other kids? I only have anecdotal evidence of kids not really giving a shit, but would be interested in what other people have seen/heard/experienced in schools.

I'm not a teacher but am the mother of a lad who left school 2 years ago. We lived with a friend who happens to be gay and I know there were other kids in his year who had same sex parents, as well as at least one girl and a couple of lads who were openly gay at school. It just wasn't an issue and if ever I discussed it with my son and his mates they expressed surprise that I thought it might be.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #62 on: November 20, 2015, 02:32:28 pm »
I voted yes

I first did the following. Sat thinking what could be reasons for saying no and the reasons why adoption is a path that people turn to or any country has as a process for children.

I know three families that have adopted. One is a single parent, never married. The other two families did so out of a desire to give a child a loving home as they couldn't have children. Some know I support a charity as a trustee which deals with abandoned girls in Punjab, India so it's something I'm quite close to. The lady who runs the home the girls live in would never want to see one of her daughters taken away into another family so always resists adoption requests. I don't blame her in that regard as she doesn't take the children in so that they are sent away again. Some requests are so flippant and disrespectful that we shudder at the thought processess behind them i.e. "you have girl, we want child, please tell us how we come collect?"

The 2 families that couldn't have children. One did have a child and lost the twin prior to the birth of first child. She couldn't have anymore so adopted from Ethiopia back in 2010. Adoption isn't easy anywhere. She's Australian married to fellow Brit who looks like me. Race/Ethnicity didn't come into their picture of what kind of child to adopt... they just wanted to give that love out to any child. I am forever in awe of them as the principles by which they live their life is one that humbles me to this day. Other couples they know associated adjustment factors into why they would have preferences and I'm not here to judge those that do HOWEVER it does stick in my throat a little if we do it the other way

If adopting parents are selective based on ethnicity of child does that appear wrong? if so, then is it just as wrong to be selective on sexuality of parents?

That last thought process of questioning leads me to say Yes to this poll.
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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #63 on: November 20, 2015, 02:40:41 pm »
The shopping habits of parents have been becoming even more 'extravagent' and much of that has been driven by the need for their kids not feel left out and in some cases have been pressurised into having new and fancy clothes/items. If kids are going to be picked on for not having enough/good stuff then its safe to say kids can pick on other kids for anything so not sure why that should stop adoption by the Gay community.

I agree with the North bank though. I still think that gay kissing on screen still gets attention from the viewer in the way 2 different races kissing doesnt and not just from older people.

Offline Packalacky

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #64 on: November 20, 2015, 03:23:23 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #65 on: November 20, 2015, 03:24:32 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.

What about a single parent family, be it a Dad or a Mum, raising a child of the opposite gender?

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #66 on: November 20, 2015, 03:25:16 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.

I've never met my father (well, not since I was about one and a half, anyway). Am I damaged?
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Offline Packalacky

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #67 on: November 20, 2015, 03:27:33 pm »
I've never met my father (well, not since I was about one and a half, anyway). Am I damaged?

Clearly  ;D


What about a single parent family, be it a Dad or a Mum, raising a child of the opposite gender?

I don't know. This is just my take on it, you asked for people to give their reasons for voting no, so that's my reason.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #68 on: November 20, 2015, 03:30:51 pm »
I don't know. This is just my take on it, you asked for people to give their reasons for voting no, so that's my reason.

I'm not having a go at you for your view, it's what you have and that's fine.

Just more asking if you hold the same opinion for a very similar situation!

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #69 on: November 20, 2015, 03:31:40 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.

Why do girls need a female perspective growing up but boys don't need a male perspective?

Offline Red Viper

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #70 on: November 20, 2015, 03:33:39 pm »
Why do girls need a female perspective growing up but boys don't need a male perspective?

Yeah seems a strange viewpoint to have. Especially as alot of women I know have a much better/closer relationship with their father than they do with their mother.

I'd suggest this argument again stems from the stereotype of men not being as nurturing as women.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #71 on: November 20, 2015, 03:49:52 pm »
I voted no, society isn't ready for it. Kids getting bullied at school this week for being Muslim, that may pass once the hysteria settles down, having same sex parents would be ongoing ever lasting and brutal bullying, we over evaluate how advanced we are as a society, and it wouldn't be just other kids, there are simply no provisions in our society to accept an alternative image of parenting. Why should a kid put up with a lifetime of misery just to advance fairness, not for me.

There's a kid in my sons class who's mother is now a lesbian (I don't know if 'is now a lesbian' is the correct way of putting it, but when I knew her when we were younger, both her and her sister were into men. Now they're both into women and are in long term lesbian relationships). There isn't a thing wrong with him or his brother. Neither of them get any hassle, both are very intellignet kids and very well liked not only in their class but in the whole school. The one in my sons class would be deemed the 'leader' in their group of friends.
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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #72 on: November 20, 2015, 04:29:28 pm »
I agree with the North bank though. I still think that gay kissing on screen still gets attention from the viewer in the way 2 different races kissing doesnt and not just from older people.

I agree with that too. The Mail and the s*n recently had faux outrage articles about the sex scene in London Spy. There's been far more graphic depictions of straight sex and no moral outrage from the gutter dwelling c*nts.

I didn't read either BTW, another article said they had reported Ofcom had received loads of complaints. But that was a lie, ofcom had received 1 complaint.

Voted yes.

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #73 on: November 20, 2015, 04:36:58 pm »
The Mail and the s*n

Yeah, to be honest headlines in either of those, particularly the fucking last shit house rag you mention, count for shit!!

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #74 on: November 20, 2015, 04:45:39 pm »
I agree with that too. The Mail and the s*n recently had faux outrage articles about the sex scene in London Spy. There's been far more graphic depictions of straight sex and no moral outrage from the gutter dwelling c*nts.

I didn't read either BTW, another article said they had reported Ofcom had received loads of complaints. But that was a lie, ofcom had received 1 complaint.

Voted yes.

"I had to watch the scene several times to be fully offended by the writhing, twisting... err, where was I?"
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Online LovelyCushionedHeader

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #75 on: November 20, 2015, 05:04:45 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.

If a mother dies (lets say at child birth), should the child be taken away from the father because he can't provide a female perspective? I also find it strange that you seem to have a problem with two men raising a girl but not two women raising a boy?

I think a lot of people answering no to this question are looking at it the wrong way. They seem to be answering no to a question like "are gay parents better than straight parents?" when in actual fact, an adopted child doesn't have parents. The real question is "are gay parents better than no parents?" and the answer is obviously yes.

I'm not going to lie, in an ideal world I think all children should be raised by straight parents because in an ideal world, all children should be living good lives without the need for adoption. That is not the case though, and if a gay couple can adopt a child and provide them a better life than they would otherwise have then hell yeah its okay.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2015, 05:07:59 pm by LovelyCushionedHeader »
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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #76 on: November 20, 2015, 05:12:13 pm »
Yes, if people really want to deny a lonely child some loving parents because it "offends" their religion then they're real pieces of shit.


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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #77 on: November 20, 2015, 05:22:45 pm »
as Les said, it needs a not arsed option....but I guess that wouldn't give the holier than thou a chance to vent
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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #78 on: November 20, 2015, 05:51:41 pm »
as Les said, it needs a not arsed option....but I guess that wouldn't give the holier than thou a chance to vent

Holier than thou. Funny I don't see anyone acting that way.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2015, 06:41:44 pm by Chakan »

Offline johnsmithlfc

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Re: New Poll 2015: Gay Adoption
« Reply #79 on: November 20, 2015, 07:04:24 pm »
I voted No.

I'm perfectly fine with people marrying who ever they want. I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay women raising kids, I'm perfectly fine with 2 gay men raising a boy. But I'd be lying if I say that I'm comfortable with the idea of 2 guys raising a girl, neither can provide a female perspective growing up and I think that would be harmful to the child.


What about single parent fathers? Should they not be able to raise their kids alone?
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