Author Topic: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .  (Read 13524 times)

Offline gazzalfc

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #160 on: November 20, 2009, 01:28:17 pm »
I worked at unilever for a year and really disliked industry, so ran back kicking and screaming and am now in the physics department....

Was it their R&D? What section were you working on?

Offline Something Else

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #161 on: November 20, 2009, 01:29:00 pm »
Was it their R&D? What section were you working on?

sent you a pm mate

Offline vicgill

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #162 on: November 20, 2009, 02:24:23 pm »
too much blackadder!!!

Yeah, one of baldrick's cunning plans
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #163 on: November 20, 2009, 02:29:36 pm »
Maybe he should cobble together a flimsy certificate with 'University of Life' at the top and then lick the back of it and slap it on the HR officers forehead, then tell her to make him a "cup of fucking tea".

I'll have to ask a member of staff to make me a "cup of fucking tea" because mine has just been spat all over my desk.

Offline finchy1972

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #164 on: November 20, 2009, 03:26:39 pm »
The jammy fucker got away with it. He went to the woman from H.R. who'd sent him the original request for the documentation and told her he had never completed the course, she said that was grand and crossed it off her list of required documents. All he needs now is an up to date number for one of his references and he's laughing. He's in funds and the P.R. degree (in fact any degree) wasn't a prerequisite for the position he's in so presumably that's why she was so nonchalant about it.
She obviously wants to get in his pants.
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Offline Jimmy Conway

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #165 on: November 20, 2009, 04:08:48 pm »
She obviously wants to get in his pants.

He told her he has a 12" cock, when in fact its only a HND sized one at 4".

Offline Something Else

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #166 on: November 20, 2009, 04:14:05 pm »
He told her he has a 12" cock, when in fact its only a HND sized one at 4".

:lmao

Offline sarch

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #167 on: November 22, 2009, 12:55:52 am »
She obviously wants to get in his pants.

i think you mean got into his pants

Offline Rusty

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #168 on: November 22, 2009, 08:30:19 am »
I fucked up my chemistry degree and got a third. Yes I deserved it (too much drinking, not enough working).

 Its your personality and work ethic that gets you where you want to be.


Hmm... self-confessed 3 years of drinking causing academic failure, outweighed by the duration of a job interview gained by massaging the facts - and you are claiming it was your work ethic that got you the job? ;D

Fair play to you for getting an interview and obviously performing very well, but to say that it is your work ethic that got you it, as opposed to good CV and interview skills, is plain wrong.

He's made Kaizer wet himself with excitement then cry when he realises all in one post. Ban him? Knight him in the new year's honours!

Offline Troglodyte

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #169 on: November 22, 2009, 09:40:13 am »
don't know about other sectors but IT/Engg if they find out you've 'mis' represented facts , you are basically fucked. Your name gets blacklisted as they have this centralised database where information of former applicants/employees etc who have 'misrepresented' facts in their CV.

One junior dev from my home town got the pink slip because he had 2 yrs exp. in his CV but they found out it was 1 year and 9 months >:(
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Racing around to come up behind you again
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Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Offline gazzalfc

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #170 on: November 22, 2009, 09:46:38 am »
Hmm... self-confessed 3 years of drinking causing academic failure, outweighed by the duration of a job interview gained by massaging the facts - and you are claiming it was your work ethic that got you the job? ;D

Fair play to you for getting an interview and obviously performing very well, but to say that it is your work ethic that got you it, as opposed to good CV and interview skills, is plain wrong.

So a person cant change?

Yes I'll admit I didn't work hard enough during my undergraduate degree. It was a time of my life where I had too much money, independence and freedom to do what I wanted. No I'm not proud of the degree mark I got but I loved every second of my time there and wouldn't swap a 1st for the experiences I had.

But I worked hard for my postgraduate masters (going from bottom of the class to 3rd in the space of 12 months) and I am definatly working hard at my job now so i can earn an extention to my contract.

Should I be judged on my undergraduate degree? I dont think I should. But I guess you have already made your mind up.

Its statements like that that put off so many people for chasing their chosen careers and I feel its unfair that you have judged me like that
« Last Edit: November 22, 2009, 05:05:23 pm by gazzalfc »

Offline Sean Mac Eggman

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #171 on: November 22, 2009, 10:33:19 am »
easy.quit,asap
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Offline kmo1969

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Offline Brian Blessed

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Offline Welshred

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #174 on: November 22, 2009, 05:21:26 pm »

Offline Alf

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #175 on: November 22, 2009, 05:52:18 pm »
I know people who lied about GCSE results who managed to get onto my course at College and were never found out. I also have experience of dealing with HR as a line manager and know how little discretion you have when they get involved with anything.

Offline 24/7

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #176 on: November 22, 2009, 05:57:19 pm »
She belongs in the sexy older women thread.
Isn't the qualification for that 40yrs old? Although, you're bang on the money! She's a FOX!! How the smeg did that smug twat land her?

Offline El Campeador

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #177 on: November 23, 2009, 08:18:27 pm »
Pfft. Corky isn't really a lawyer. His diploma is written in crayon.



Corkboy's diploma upon closer examination.

Offline Brian Blessed

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #178 on: November 23, 2009, 08:21:28 pm »
I never would have guessed Corky's real name in a million years. Weirder than Rumplestiltskin. Hell of a first name, though.

Offline Jonathan Hall ☆☆☆☆☆☆

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #179 on: November 23, 2009, 08:24:57 pm »
Mmm audits, i reckon within the next couple of years i may end up doing a lead auditer course. Fuck me, i'll need to try and stay awake during it.
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Offline Corkboy

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #180 on: November 23, 2009, 08:36:06 pm »
Corkboy's diploma upon closer examination.

Vile calumny.

I am the proud owner of a Higher Baccalaureat in Laws and Presumptions from the Colegio De Abogados De La Revolucion, Havana (it's where I first met DannyD).

Offline SP

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #181 on: November 24, 2009, 10:23:24 am »
Mmm audits, i reckon within the next couple of years i may end up doing a lead auditer course. Fuck me, i'll need to try and stay awake during it.

Auditor training CBT.

Offline SP

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #182 on: November 24, 2009, 10:25:45 am »
:D  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1229912/Speakers-wife-lost-job-Oxford-degree-wasnt.html

That bastard is my MP. I've never seen either of them around here, the seat is barely worth the effort of campaigning safe.

Offline SP

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Re: I lied on my C.V. and now . . . .
« Reply #183 on: November 24, 2009, 10:26:53 am »
Vile calumny.

I am the proud owner of a Higher Baccalaureat in Laws and Presumptions from the Colegio De Abogados De La Revolucion, Havana (it's where I first met DannyD).

Wouldn't that be an Equal Baccalaureat? We're all comrades after the revolution.