I had an interesting text conversation the other night with my ex. We didn't split up because our relationship soured or anything. She had to move 40 miles away because of work. We tried to make things work for a while, but I always seemed to be busy when she was free, and vice versa. At one point we went 6 weeks without seeing each other. Then she told me she had met someone else. Being pragmatic about the situation, I understood. I didn't harbor any ill-feeling towards her whatsoever. She's an attractive girl. I knew some fucker was going to hit on her in my absence.
So I wished her well. It hurt a lot because I did have strong feelings for her. But as I said, I was pragmatic about it. Then she text me the other night to ask if I wanted to come to the city to hang out with her. I asked her if it was just going to be me and her hanging out. To which she replied no. Obviously her new bloke was going to be there too. She just wanted us to meet as friends. To which I responded no. Then she flipped the fuck out asking why I didn't want to be her friend
I tried my best to explain to her that it wasn't that I didn't want to see her. I just couldn't face seeing her with another bloke. That would be too much salt in the wound. Hence I'd rather not go there. Yet now I'm the selfish heartless one according to her. I don't know if I'm being a c*nt or not here. But she can't honestly expect me to be her "friend", can she?
I had something similar to you, last year me and my then GF of two years decided to end it before we each went to study abroad for a year. We agreed (for some weird reason) to inform each other of anything we did in terms of 'activity' with the opposite sex, maybe that was due to the fact we were each other’s first real relationship and were inexperienced about these things.
Anyway, she tells me two weeks after that she’s seeing someone, who turns out to be someone else from our uni that I had always disliked, as he seemed to be in love with her but masqueraded as a friend during the time we were together (believe me, I got tired of the ‘ohh he’s just a friend, nothing more’ shite but you can’t actually do anything about it or you seem like a jealous creep). I wasn’t really prepared for it; I was glad to be a single man in a new city with no restrictions, but when I heard how she moved on before me, and with this c*nt it tore me up and I was devvo’d – I was fine when we split (it was mutual like I said) but this news broke my heart.
We patched things up slightly, she stopped seeing him after I explained to her how much she’d hurt me with this t*at, and we visited each other in our respective cities. I regret doing the latter, I felt like crap the whole time and I think despite the fact we were doing it under the guise of, and probably with the end goal of ‘being friends’, it was awkward and we nearly got back together. We kissed and were fooling around in bed but we stopped before anything developed, probably for feelings and awkwardness’s sake.
Since then, we haven’t spoken in six months and I feel so much better for it. Blanking her completely is the goal when we see each other at uni this year, and while I’ll be cordial, the fact that she remains ‘friends’ with the bloke she copped off with is only ever going to cause me more pain, awkward moments and ill-feelings. So in summary, my feelings towards her were so strong that being friends wasn’t an option as it would kill me to hear what she was up to, so find out whether you’ll ever get back together (she told me she didn’t want to) and if it’s a negative answer then just pie her off to avoid more heartbreak, its working for me.
