Topic: The 2017 NEWS PREDICTION THREAD

[Andy @ Allerton!]

You all get TEN predictions for what News-type-things are going to happen this coming year.

I think we can agree that there have been lots of things happen this year that has surprised most of us.

I personally think that next year is going to be much, much more 'out there'...

So.. Pick your ten and at the end of 2017 we can go through our Nostradamus-Posters to find those that happen

I'll have a list here and put the Most picked things (I'm imagining that many posters will choose stuff that others will choose, so to make this list, if you see something you think 'Yeah. I think that's right and I'll add it..)


THE LIST of 2017 Crazy News stuff... Predicted by RAWK:

01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

The Deadline is the End of January 2017

I'll count up what votes we have and put the top ten in the list..

(Hopefully January won't be too nuts lol)

[Fiasco]

1. A prominent member of the Royal Family will die.
2. We win the league.
3. A snap general election is called in the UK with a shock result.
4. Donald Trump is assassinated or dies suddenly or in strange circumstances.
5. A major terrorist attack will happen on British soil.
6. Tiger Woods wins another major.
7. The most concrete evidence yet of extra terrestrial life will be found.
8. The highest record for the highest temperature in the UK will be broken.
9. Jose Mourinho will leave Manchester United and Alex Ferguson will make a return as interim manager.
10. Somebody will attempt to kill Vladimir Putin.

[Lush is the best medicine...]

Brexit is no nearer to happening as there is still no plan
Frottage gets arrested
Corbyn no longer labour leader and is replaced by Richard Burgon
Trump gets impeached
A major terrorist attack happens in the USA
US economy goes into recession
A major sportsman comes out of the closet
Jose Mourinho gets sacked
Scottish independence is strongly pushed
A major international politician past or present will die unexpectedly

[Circa1892]

01. Prince Philip and/or The Queen dies
02. Upon the ascencion of Charles, talk about a Referendum on the monarchy starts to gain traction and becomes Labour/LB/SNP Party policy.
03. A snap general election is called. UKIP win 15 seats in the North, the Lib Dems regain 15 seats in the South. Labour drop to their lowest ebb.
04. Jeremy Corbyn wins a third Labour leadership election - leading to mass resignations of Labour MPs, although Labour hold the majority of subsequent by-elections.
05. Russia invades at least one Eastern European country.
06. Andy Murray wins 2 grand slams and spends the full calendar year as world number 1.
07. Chelsea win the league, beating Klopp's Liverpool by 4 points.
08. The process for Article 50 is delayed following the election of Marine Le Pen in France and the deposition of Angela Merkel in Germany.
09. Mike Pence is sworn in as the 46th President of the United States with Paul Ryan as VP.
10. American isolationism empowers China to make further aggressive moves in the South China sea.

[81a]

01. Liverpool win Premier League
02. A number of those involved in the Hillsborough cover up face criminal charges.
03. Scotland announces plans for another referendum.
04. Andy Murray receives a knighthood.
05. Riots in a number of American cities.
06. Le Penn routed in French elections.
07. Cleveland Indians win World Series.
08. White Xmas in the UK.
09. Alexis Sanchez Players player of the year.
10. Ibrahimovic plays the role of Inspector Blakey in the West End production of On the Buses.

[Trada]

1. 2 countries will go to war over something said on twitter.

2 The Queen will die.

3. Trump will die in a mysterious way.

4. China will invade Taiwan because of the one China agreement.

5. Italy will have a banking collapse.

6. Liverpool will win the league.

7 Some kind of Alien lifeform will be confirmed.

8. Massive earthquake will hit LA.

9. Daily Mail will moan that a lot of their stories are getting blocked by the new fake story systems.

10. Blairites will try their annual coup against Jeremy.

There was one other thing I think may happen but I couldn't bring myself to predict it my blood runs cold everytime just seeing his name trending on Twitter.

[Flinstone]

4. China will invade Singapore because of the one China agreement.

Heh?

[Cruiser]

21st Jan 2017 - Global thermonuclear war

[CHOPPER]

People will die, yes, even famous people and the living will be more mortified and shocked and debate more at length, those miniscule amounts of celebrities, than the millions who die from starvation, disease and war, at the same time.

[Trada]

Heh?

Meant Taiwan.

[gqP6w]

Let's see...

- Queen dies or suffers serious illness leading to Charles becoming Monarch

- Prosecutions started against people/organisations involved in Hillsborough cover up

- Leicester win European Cup

- Leicester get relegated

- Pro/Anti EU supporters clash leading to riot and deaths

- Conservatives call snap election

- LibDem, SNP and Labour coalition holds narrow majority

- Brexit scrapped

- Trump involved in assassination attempt but survives

- Middle East explodes into full scale war

[Sudden Death Draft Loser]

A sudden and unexpected (to those who haven't been paying attention) series of weather (climate) based catastrophes due to massive positive feedback loops as we go past the tipping point.

[oldfordie]

1 Supreme court throws the governments appeal out as it has no merit.
2 IPCC announce controversial decisions on Hillsborugh suspects.
3 Trump gives first of many embarrassing speeches.
4 Labour MPs resign their seats to take up job offers outside Parliament.
5, MPs plead for the government to reconsider triggering article 50
6 Queen dies and everyone wants the UK to be a republic till it's pointed out May/Corbyn could be president, Charles becomes king.
7 Frottage argues we should take the Greek deal bailout as he cant help noticing their doing rather well.
8 Johnson tells the French to stick their gateau up their a... and is sacked.
9  "We told you so" becomes the number 1 selling tshirt
10Liverpool top the table by 5pts on Xmas day.

[Trada]

God I hate Twitter sometimes David Attenborough is top trending.

Mostly because he should be hidden in a bunker for 5 days.

Im surprised Brucie lasted the year.

[Redman0151]

Liverpool win the league, the world realises they've been a bunch of dickheads and the left has a resurgence. Calls for an early general election lead to a Labour majority. We all have a great year with lots of bevvy and great nights

[hide5seek]

Nobody famous will die.

[Dr. Beaker]

1. Corbyn has big health scare.

2. The Beast of Bolsover doesn't see the year out.

3. May calls an election and voter apathy returns 650 MP's who have all won their seats and lost their deposits simultaneously.

4. Early in the year, Cliff Richards is found in the gents toilets in Waterloo station fondling the Pope (God's other representative on Earth).

5. Tambourinist from Musical Youth dies and is lauded as the most influential musician since Mozart.

6. Quite late in the year David Luis actually scores from a free kick.

7. Later in the year Cliff Richards dies and all of a sudden loads of irrefutable proof is discovered that he was guilty of some crime or other.

8. Celebrity Ironing achieves record viewing figures.

9. Trump dies.

10. Ibrahamovic plays the part of Blakey in remake of On The Buses. (courtesy of 81a) 



 

[Commie Bobbie]

Here we go.

01. A Major Political figure in Europe is murdered/assassinated by a Neo-Nazi, for supposed revenge for previous attacks by so-called Islamists.

02. France sees its senses and Le Pen get routed, but not before serious outbreaks of violence causes deaths in major French cities.

03. Trump and Clinton is impeached, the 25th Amendment is signed, and Ryan becomes President.

04. A previously solid ally to the west in the Middle East becomes destabilised, causing Arab Spring II.

05. A Nuclear Power will fall under military control, to stop its leader from using Nukes on a supposed non-Nuclear power.

06. England remain unbeaten, winning the Six Nations, and breaking the World Record.

07. LFC finish second in the PL, 2 points behind Chelsea. Arsenal and Manchester City also qualify for the CL.

08. Article 50 does not get invoked, causing the government to lose a vote of no-confidence - as Brexit MPs vote with Labour and SNP MPs to cause downfall.

09. May resigns. Queen refuses to accept resignation.

10. A major member/s of the Royal Family croaks it.

[Caligula?]

01. Liverpool finish 2nd to Chelsea in the league, but win either the EFL Cup or FA Cup.

02. A member of the British Royal family dies.

03. Marie Le Pen is elected President of France.

04. Another major terrorist attack happens on European soil.

05. Most EU nations suspend the taking in of refugees.

06. Donald Drumpf starts a proxy war with China.

07. Donald Drumpf won't see out the year as President.

08. Putin sends in troops to one of the Baltic states causing a possible military confrontation with NATO.

09. Another war between Israel and Palestine ensues; immense international pressure causes Netanyahu to step down as PM of Israel.

10. Article 50 isn't invoked; May attempts to resign and there are calls for an early election. Jeremy Corbyn becomes the new PM. 

[theMilkman]

1. Liverpool take both domestic cups, finish in the top 3.

2. Donald Drumpf continues to play tough with 'Jyna' in the South China Sea, trade war looms.

3. Assad, with Putin's help, ends the Civil war with the rebels. Isis loses Raqqa in Syria and is eliminated in Iraq.

4. (maybe 2018, depending on whether Trump is impeached by then) With the US engaged in a trade war with China, Russian tanks roll into the baltic. Trump does nothing. NATO becomes obsolete.

5. Parliament fails to trigger article 50, May resigns. Election called, Tories win again but it's anyone's guess who they send this time. The EU is pissed off and will try to flex some muscle, talk will start about how to kick Britain out. Corbyn replaced as leader of Labour. Britain pursues increased trade with former colonies like Australia, Canada, India, and Malaysia.

6. CDU retains its majority in the Bundestag. Merkel begins her third term as Chancellor.

7. The US economy goes downhill sharply towards the end of the year after a long overdue stock market correction. Yellen gets blamed for low interest rate policy. Trump decides to let the market be the market, republicans start pushing harder for the abolition of the fed. US ends the year in recession. Overall inequality worsens as Trump cuts tax rates. 

8. After several years of gains for the far right in Europe, they start losing momentum. Fillon becomes President in France.

9. Japan increases military spending for a 6th year in a row- 'peace state' status all but over. talk of a nuclear Japan intensifies.

10. India remains the fastest growing large economy with +9% growth. Sino-Indian relations reach a post middle age high.

[reniformis]

1. Social media meltdown as Star Wars 8 turns out to be shite.

2. Article 50 activation gets delayed as May tries to take the piss over publishing 'the plan' and Parliament fucks her off.

3. Housing market collapses as I'm about to sell mine.

4. Inflation hits double figures.

5. A piece of irrefutable medical advice is refuted. Probably cholesterol and statins.

6. Vaping gets banned in a liberal, English-speaking nation.

7. Russia will turn out not to be the bad guys.

8. Trade war between the West and China.

9. We lose another of the Monty Python team.

10. Job automation slows as it's realised that now people are cheaper and more disposable than robots.

[sms1986]

I don't really know how these posts related to next year, or are you saying it'll be much the same? Politics wise, that would be awful but not surprising, and celebrity wise, it's likely to be even worse as more people who happen to be famous end up at the end of their lives.

[Dr. Beaker]

I don't really know how these posts related to next year, or are you saying it'll be much the same? Politics wise, that would be awful but not surprising, and celebrity wise, it's likely to be even worse as more people who happen to be famous end up at the end of their lives.

This sounds like good news. Are you saying that the rate of celebrity deaths is accelerating?

[Mutton Geoff]

1 Trump will be assassinated
2 Prince Philip will die closely followed by the Queen
3 Charles immediately decides he is too old to take the throne and abdicates in favour of William
4 Swansea will hire their 5th manager in 12 months
5 Bruce Forsyth will die
6 Global Warming will finally be taken seriously
7 China's economic Bubble will burst.
8 Financial institutions will leave London at a rapid rate.
9 Channel 4 will bring back It's a Knockout
10 There will be a war between Turkey and Greece over Cyprus

[GreatEx]

As if Trump is going to die... he will outlive the cockroaches. Kill one Trump and two Trumps grow in its place!

[redalways]

As if Trump is going to die... he will outlive the cockroaches. Kill one Trump and two Trumps grow in its place!

Fuck me if Trump dies,Pence becomes President. He is 10 x worse.

[moondog]

Jeez what a load of depressing predictions, perhaps should have global suicide rates up 20% if all that happens. For real unlikely news try these.
1- Everton have late surge and reach 4th place ahead of Man  United on the last day of the season.
2- Manchester city win champions league final but finish 6th in the  league an  take Everton place in 2017/18 champion  league.
3- Liverpool win league with last minute winner in final game.
4- Law is passed making it illegal to have beans next to egg on an English breakfast.
5- Liverpool.city council.finds £100 million in Joe Anderson's desk drawer and is able to provide care to our elderly and disabled for another year.
6- No celebrities die unexpectedly. Which is a.shock.
7-Elvis is found alive and well with Tupac in a County Road boozer
8- Donald Drumpf resigns stating the whole thing had been a crazy dream .
9-  Michael Head and the Red Elastic Band Lp becomes UK number 1
10- Bruce Springsteen announces Liverpool gig.

[Fitzy.]

More deaths. Lots of deaths to get people off.

Why are people somehow getting off on reporting and indulging in 2016's dead pool? It's become sport to some people. Self-regarding chronicles of 'terrible' news. Gleefully listing the dead like some macabre roster...then sticking 'RIP' and a sad emoji at the end to express a faux sadness.

[oldfordie]

More deaths. Lots of deaths to get people off.

Why are people somehow getting off on reporting and indulging in 2016's dead pool? It's become sport to some people. Self-regarding chronicles of 'terrible' news. Gleefully listing the dead like some macabre roster...then sticking 'RIP' and a sad emoji at the end to express a faux sadness.

Great Idea, lets have buster competition, everyone puts a tenner in the kitty. pick a celebratory who they think wont last the year. the person who picked the first celeb to pop his clogs takes all.

[jason67]

4- Law is passed making it illegal to have beans next to egg on an English breakfast.

You can use the sausage as a breakwater.

[GreatEx]

You can use the sausage as a breakwater.

On the whole, a very good post - seven on ten.

[moondog]

Just looking back at these, jeez we may need to sign Nostradamus in the transfer window as we are collectively shite at predicting the future. Yes Bruce Forsyth is gone (hardly a surprise) but I am immensely happy that I successfully predicted Michael Head and the Red Elastic Band would have a number One LP, even if it was 'just' the Indie chart. The rest of us  did pretty poorly.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Never got round to adding the top ten (Not that it was worth it)

[Commie Bobbie]

As no one has done any, here's my five for 2018. In no particular order.

1. Trump gets Impeached. But gets away with it. Just.
2. Brexit gets watered down as much as possible.
3. David Davis will resign. Because.
4. A minor royal will croak it.
5. A player will be racially abused at the world cup. Fifa will do zilch.