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For the Tottenham fans who are coming here and well need some explanationsThis is me butchers on it. I were tinkin’ joorin’ thee err Wigan game dat once the fowwrfh goal went in, Li’errpull played lark getting’ reddy lark for the Spurs game – poncy daagram please. Keep it prufeshnul innit.
Dairnin’ and Corrr-tinyah got their plates o’ meat insaard arr halv, as well as insaard fohwwird posishuns (Zone fohr-een an all dat palava):
An Dairnin’:
Bit lark dee Arshnul game – si-in deep, hi-in on de break, early goal (well cushty ma son, well cushty) and Reina not goin’ Pete Tong
Li’erpoorl line up against Shpursh?, have a butchers below at Tottnum and wotnot.
Pershownel will, of cowwse, Pope in Rome on the range due ter availabili-y, but de stru-tcha is de same - 'igh pressin', ‘ammer n tack four, solid central midfield bowler glue, Garriff in a free role, a target geeza up front for him ter make runs like after a ruby murray, a deepah leffh mid and de pace er Lennon on the wite. Hale ‘n’ Pace is their main assit, followed by Garriff’s delivery on set plays. Droppin' back Cock and Hen yards and playin' on the break is prolly Wodgers' main idea, cos the problem Gooners 'ad was dat deir Union Jack line, although pushed up as 'eaven and 'ell, woz also very flat (the St. Martins-Le-Grand of Steve Bould was aw over it).
Dey were caught square wif a few dagonal through Berlin Walls in dat game, and thas summit I fink we’ll be lookin' ter liminate. I would expect our defence ter sho some depf, especially on them dagonuls. Might stop Johnshun’s attackin' role somewot but we can more en make up for dat wif the pace and mobili-y of our cainnters. Lubbly Jubbly. Wot our issue will be is which players step aahhht if we start wif bof Sturridge and Sooarez? I can clock us playin' a similar 4-1-4-1 ter the Wigan game, so that means we either do wot we did against Gooners and play Sooarez on the leffh and Sturridge up front - in which case the question becomes 'oo drops aahhht, Corrr-tinyah or Dairnin'? Orrrrr we Carry on up de Khyber wif the 4-1-3-2 that 'as worked for us, in which case we'll 'ave ter play 'enderson for 'is workrate, which again begs the question, 'oo drops aahhht? No-one’s ‘Arry n Dick an’ wiv me crust gettin’ all hoity-toity baaht it, will leave it for Bwendurrn
I could clock us garn for the attackin' units we 'ad against Gooners, wif Corrr-tinyah fer Dairnin ' in the secon’alf - if we play conservatively in the attack: Get yer mincies on dis me ole China
Or if we take the bloomin' game ter Shpursh somewot, and scarper for de 4-1-3-2, it would butchers bit like it ‘as since Cwishmash
The bloody only queschin would surrahn Corrr-tinyah n Dairnin - if 'enderson plays, do we keep Dairnin' on the bleedin' wite or thra Corrr-tinyah aahhht there and use 'im ter counterattack wif 'is speed and passin'? Can’t play 'enderson there, as 'e tends ter crowd de space Gerrarrrh plays in, and 'e baleensis Gerrarrrh aahhht in centwal mi’field on the leffh, sar it could end up we play summit loike dis:
The game’ll be decided by ‘ow we cope wif the match-ups. I fink that Enweekee 'as enuff ter 'andle Lennon, and need der minerals ter play a purely defensive role for this game, wif a minimal amount of gettin' forward. Sturridge should make ‘em have a mare and if 'enderson does the "1.5" Corn on the Cob in left midfield, then that frees Sooarez up ter do sum damage. Bish, Bash n Bosh guv’nor.
If Dairnin ' is on de wite, then he’ll bowf press the left Hammer and Tack and double up wif Johnshun, as 'eaven and 'ell as cover for any overlappin' Radio Ones Johnshun makes. Gerrarrrh will be able ter win 'is duel wif Parker or whoever and whether Shpursh play wif Hadee-bayurr or Dempshee up front, Carrah ‘n’ Aggah should do awwwight. If Defoe plays though, then droppin' back into the defensive third will be crooshiel, and it will be important ter keep a mince pie on each of Defoe, Lennon and Garriff.
Garriff is, of course, the danger geeza, and stoppin' 'im will go a long way ter stoppin' Shpursh. Lookersh can’t be havin’ a giraffe in this, but neither can Carrah ‘n’ Aggah. If Lookersh can push 'im onto 'is wite side, leavin' Aggah ter double team and Carrah ter sweep up, then they can khybosh Garriff. If they allaw 'im ter run on 'is left side and create space, Reina will 'ave ter be at 'is Mae West ter save the shots. The Brenda Lee match-ups 're as below (wif alterations for pershinell, of cowwse):
The millyun dollah queschin for Shpursh, is ‘ow much do dey risk? Dey play Intah, then us, then Intah again. HayeeveeBee is a fan of the bloomin' Whooropa League, so we 'ave ter assume 'e'll want a Robin Hood result in the Damien Hirst 'ard boiled Borra And Beg against Intah - and if things are tricky-dicky after dat, 'e might actually George Best sum players for the game at Anfeel. I fin' we'll clock Friedel in Sausage Roll, maybe sum replacements at fullback, and Dempshee on de leffh. On the ovver St. Martins-Le-Grand, if Lookersh is a bit lively, Garriff’s Ten Speed Gears might clock the bench a bit Liz Hurley ter keep 'im from gettin' injured. A Hoppin' Pot of Shpursh prep I fink will be ‘cos a Thursday's game – you can stick an Ayrton Senna on that!. Cozza dat we might see a less dan pukka side against us and a possible comfortable win as Shpursh preserve umselves for the second Bacon and Egg against Intah. That thursday game will be watched wif sum interest by Bwendurrn I fink
