Author Topic: The addiction of gambling (Read 25508 times)

Captain Wolf Biscuit · « **Reply #80 on:** March 2, 2011, 10:48:10 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on March 2, 2011, 09:45:35 pm

Good idea, but once again, not the actions of an addict. They do what they need to get the fix. God i sound a twat lol.

Haha, not at all mate. I just think if you're alright enough to recognise that going to the races might end badly then you probably could use that foresight to your benefit. But I obviously have no idea about Hellrazor's situation or state of mind, just thought I'd offer an idea that may help.

Rafas3leggedtable · « **Reply #81 on:** March 2, 2011, 10:48:58 pm »

Hi lads and lasses.

Another week without gambling - been again to GA tonight. It really helps and and I have been going to the gym too which helps. Got voids in day though as I am off work with stress. Went to a course that started last night - 'Stress Control'. Seems OK actually, deals with anxiety and depression.

Met up with my wife at weekend - its final, house been re-mortgaged in her name, there were a few tears. How do you just forget all those years? On the money front, this will enable me to clear debts and set up again maybe with a flat I dunno. I would rather be in a place called home with my wife and doing a debt consolidation but hey thats life, fate whatever you wanna call it.

keep listening and talking guys - it does help.

Ta

dave

And Could He Play · « **Reply #82 on:** March 2, 2011, 11:09:43 pm »

here for you mate if you need to talk.

Rafas3leggedtable · « **Reply #83 on:** March 2, 2011, 11:57:22 pm »

Quote from: And Could He Play on March 2, 2011, 11:09:43 pm

here for you mate if you need to talk.

ta, ditto mate. I know what you mean by the boredom. People say get a hobby but so much of our lives has been based around drinking/gambling - how do you just say, right now I am gonna do this instead for the rest of my life. Big voids left and its hard I know mate. And I know you have other problems too, thats what you are up against I guess, i.e. to beat a problem you need to be selfish but how can you be when you are a father? My heart goes out to you - keep going mate thats all I can say

And Could He Play · « **Reply #84 on:** March 3, 2011, 12:02:58 am »

Quote from: Rafas3leggedtable on March 2, 2011, 11:57:22 pm

ta, ditto mate. I know what you mean by the boredom. People say get a hobby but so much of our lives has been based around drinking/gambling - how do you just say, right now I am gonna do this instead for the rest of my life. Big voids left and its hard I know mate. And I know you have other problems too, thats what you are up against I guess, i.e. to beat a problem you need to be selfish but how can you be when you are a father? My heart goes out to you - keep going mate thats all I can say

things have took a dramtic turn for the better on my part in the last couple of days, i still drink but only once/twice a week compared to almost every night. i am now seeing my daughter again, ok only the last two days, and yes i have lost my partner of 5 years to someone else, who i still love to bits despite all that has gone on. but you know what, fuck it, looking for a new place to live. fresh start.

anyway dont want to hijack your thread there is already a couple with my life story on, just saying i can relate to your problems. , wish you all the best.

Rafas3leggedtable · « **Reply #85 on:** March 3, 2011, 08:43:05 am »

Quote from: And Could He Play on March 3, 2011, 12:02:58 am

things have took a dramtic turn for the better on my part in the last couple of days, i still drink but only once/twice a week compared to almost every night. i am now seeing my daughter again, ok only the last two days, and yes i have lost my partner of 5 years to someone else, who i still love to bits despite all that has gone on. but you know what, fuck it, looking for a new place to live. fresh start.

anyway dont want to hijack your thread there is already a couple with my life story on, just saying i can relate to your problems. , wish you all the best.

Good to hear that mate, nice one.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #86 on:** March 3, 2011, 08:45:49 am »

Quote from: Rafas3leggedtable on March 2, 2011, 10:48:58 pm

Hi lads and lasses.

Another week without gambling - been again to GA tonight. It really helps and and I have been going to the gym too which helps. Got voids in day though as I am off work with stress. Went to a course that started last night - 'Stress Control'. Seems OK actually, deals with anxiety and depression.

Met up with my wife at weekend - its final, house been re-mortgaged in her name, there were a few tears. How do you just forget all those years? On the money front, this will enable me to clear debts and set up again maybe with a flat I dunno. I would rather be in a place called home with my wife and doing a debt consolidation but hey thats life, fate whatever you wanna call it.

keep listening and talking guys - it does help.

Ta

dave

Massive achievement mate. If you dont mind me asking, what do you do at GA. Pm me if you dont want to post it but ive found that ppl dont take the piss in serious threads ......... Well, not always

paulrazor · « **Reply #87 on:** March 3, 2011, 09:45:24 am »

cheers lads

i think ill set a limit of 4 quid a race or something which is still bad but when you go to the dogs you cant help but have a wee flutter

i dnt go very much. think ive been 3 times. once i didnt even bet. the other times i lost about 20 maybe

as i said the trouble is having it on your phone. too easy access

Rafas3leggedtable · « **Reply #88 on:** March 3, 2011, 02:21:32 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on March 3, 2011, 08:45:49 am

Massive achievement mate. If you dont mind me asking, what do you do at GA. Pm me if you dont want to post it but ive found that ppl dont take the piss in serious threads ......... Well, not always

Cheers, at meetings just talk about what you done in last week, any urges you have had, listen to others and their stories. Sometimes its just to go (and I have to drive 30 miles to my nearest one) to say that I have not had a gamble. I would recommend it to anyone who has even just got a slight feeling they may have a problem. You ever done AA mate?

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #89 on:** March 3, 2011, 02:47:32 pm »

I tried once mate but i'm sure you can guess why i never made it. Think i may try again though. Seems to work for you.

ianfb25 · « **Reply #90 on:** March 3, 2011, 09:28:04 pm »

Good work fella with the GA. Keep us posted bud.

Rusty · « **Reply #91 on:** April 10, 2011, 11:47:44 pm »

Hey R3LT,

Just to say hope you're still going OK staying off the punt.

Rafas3leggedtable · « **Reply #92 on:** April 20, 2011, 10:25:59 pm »

Quote from: Rusty on April 10, 2011, 11:47:44 pm

Hey R3LT,

Just to say hope you're still going OK staying off the punt.

Cheers mate - not been on here much lately, life seems just weird at the moment. Yeah, off gambling still and the meetings are the main reason why, they really help. Chaired the meeting last week - made me realise how far I had come.

What gets me though everytime is when they talk about partners, and one or two have them waiting as they leave. To have them there is a rock and shows that they are there for them. My wife and I have split up and I dont know if I will ever know if gambling played a part. She drove me there to the meeting the first week and for that I will be eternally grateful, but I wish she was here and I could talk. There is so much I want to tell her...sorry this is so hard.

But im ok, and I would recommend anyone who thinks they have got a problem to go to a meeting. It may still yet have saved my life.

keano7 · « **Reply #93 on:** April 20, 2011, 11:34:01 pm »

Quote from: Rafas3leggedtable on April 20, 2011, 10:25:59 pm

Cheers mate - not been on here much lately, life seems just weird at the moment. Yeah, off gambling still and the meetings are the main reason why, they really help. Chaired the meeting last week - made me realise how far I had come.

What gets me though everytime is when they talk about partners, and one or two have them waiting as they leave. To have them there is a rock and shows that they are there for them. My wife and I have split up and I dont know if I will ever know if gambling played a part. She drove me there to the meeting the first week and for that I will be eternally grateful, but I wish she was here and I could talk. There is so much I want to tell her...sorry this is so hard.

But im ok, and I would recommend anyone who thinks they have got a problem to go to a meeting. It may still yet have saved my life.

Well done for attending every meeting and coming as far as you've came up to now. You could of gave up and gone back to previous ways but it shows you're determined to get over your addiction and lead a new, more positive life. Splitting up from your wife must be really hard for you but i'm sure she still regards you her highly in her life and even asking her one day in the future to meet up and discuss your problems might help. Good luck for the immediate future and keep positive

Roslagen · « **Reply #94 on:** April 23, 2011, 10:27:06 pm »

Just make sure you gamble better, so money is gained instead

AJ · « **Reply #95 on:** April 23, 2011, 11:27:13 pm »

I see a lot of people writing in here that admitting you have a problem is the first step, and an important one in the road to recovery.

That being the case, what kind of idiot realises they have a problem, acknowledges it and still does nothing to rectify it? That'd be me. I've long since realised that I'm in way over my head when it comes to gambling - but I ust can't seem to stop it. Self exclusions, internet filters, relieving control of my bank accounts - I've tried it all - I just end up back in the same shitty place.

I've alienated my family and my girlfriend - my mates will soon get bored of me being too skint to go out, but I never seem to learn.

I often think about GA, but I find it hard to admit that I'm in such a mess (he says, posting this on an internet forum). I like to think of myself as relatively intelligent and, having worked in a bookies, I should know the risks.

Every time I have a bad loss, I tell myself it'll be the last, but the next week comes and I convince myself I can get myself out of this mess - digging myself deeper and deeper in it as I go. It's a vicious circle, and at the moment I can't see where it's going to stop. I know going to places like GA will help, speaking to others in the same position, but I'm just not strong enough. I gave up smoking on my own, because I'd reached a point where I didn't want to do it anymore, I'm worried that I haven't reached that point with gambling yet. I need to, and quickly.

Effes · « **Reply #96 on:** April 24, 2011, 06:59:11 pm »

Quote from: AJ on April 23, 2011, 11:27:13 pm

Every time I have a bad loss, I tell myself it'll be the last, but the next week comes and I convince myself I can get myself out of this mess - digging myself deeper and deeper in it as I go. It's a vicious circle, and at the moment I can't see where it's going to stop. I know going to places like GA will help, speaking to others in the same position, but I'm just not strong enough. I gave up smoking on my own, because I'd reached a point where I didn't want to do it anymore, I'm worried that I haven't reached that point with gambling yet. I need to, and quickly.

Get yer arse down there - have a look where there is a meeting by you and get down there.

You don't want to get to the point where it's too late - that could be disastrous.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #97 on:** April 24, 2011, 08:35:56 pm »

Quote from: AJ on April 23, 2011, 11:27:13 pm

That being the case, what kind of idiot realises they have a problem, acknowledges it and still does nothing to rectify it?

A lot of addicts mate. I was the same. Knew i had to do something but never could. I am really trying now though. I just needed something to really kick me in the bollocks. ( as if losing everything wasnt enough eh )

You can do it mate , GA is a great idea. Speak to ACHP as he has just started going to AA and he rates it highly. Says they are all in the same boat and no one is pointing fingers etc. Like minded ppl may just give you the edge you need to beat it.

Good luck mate.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #98 on:** April 25, 2011, 02:28:35 am »

Yeah mate, just carrying on from what Carl (shf) says, i am currently going to meetings for ale. I find it amazing, the people are brilliant, its so refreshing, no-one looks down at you, everyone has been there done it, or in the same boat. I actually look forward to it. I'm going again tonight, can't wait. best thing i have ever done.

AJ · « **Reply #99 on:** June 14, 2011, 10:31:47 pm »

I wonder, if I sneak in, will nobody will notice me and my obvious absence from the wagon?

It's all gone tits up again, as it does. Usual cycle started off again, few good days and you think you're invincible. Follow that up with a few terrible days and you're left contemplating where it all went wrong again. Even before I started typing this, I contemplated one last deposit before I did it, just in case, but I'm never going to get there if I do that.

I'm not sticking around tonight, need to get my head down, but I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Hopefully the shame of documenting on here on a daily basis how I'm struggling to go a day without having a bet will make me realise how close I am to the edge. I doubt it though, I'm obviously not capable of realising such obvious things.

See y'all tomorrow.

redforlife · « **Reply #100 on:** June 14, 2011, 11:16:15 pm »

Quote from: AJ on June 14, 2011, 10:31:47 pm

I wonder, if I sneak in, will nobody will notice me and my obvious absence from the wagon?

It's all gone tits up again, as it does. Usual cycle started off again, few good days and you think you're invincible. Follow that up with a few terrible days and you're left contemplating where it all went wrong again. Even before I started typing this, I contemplated one last deposit before I did it, just in case, but I'm never going to get there if I do that.

I'm not sticking around tonight, need to get my head down, but I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Hopefully the shame of documenting on here on a daily basis how I'm struggling to go a day without having a bet will make me realise how close I am to the edge. I doubt it though, I'm obviously not capable of realising such obvious things.

See y'all tomorrow.

Good luck with it, you know it won't be easy but don't ever feel ashamed at realising you have a problem and doing something about it.

Do you have friends/family you can rely on to help you stay strong?

jason42 · « **Reply #101 on:** June 14, 2011, 11:46:23 pm »

Quote from: AJ on June 14, 2011, 10:31:47 pm

I wonder, if I sneak in, will nobody will notice me and my obvious absence from the wagon?

It's all gone tits up again, as it does. Usual cycle started off again, few good days and you think you're invincible. Follow that up with a few terrible days and you're left contemplating where it all went wrong again. Even before I started typing this, I contemplated one last deposit before I did it, just in case, but I'm never going to get there if I do that.

I'm not sticking around tonight, need to get my head down, but I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Hopefully the shame of documenting on here on a daily basis how I'm struggling to go a day without having a bet will make me realise how close I am to the edge. I doubt it though, I'm obviously not capable of realising such obvious things.

See y'all tomorrow.

It's the anguish and the brutal honesty in posts like this one that make me glad that a) RAWK is here as an outlet/confessional/help tool and b) that I never got into odds and gambling...

AJ · « **Reply #102 on:** June 15, 2011, 08:10:00 am »

A cliché, I know, but today really is the first day of the rest of my life. One way or another, I've got to beat this.

I'll be OK today, I'm in work this morning, then my girlfriend is coming round for the afternoon so I won't have the boredom that often drives me to it. Maybe it's a blessing; a way to ease myself in to it, having an 'easy' day to start off with. I hope so, I'll need it, because I'm dreading tomorrow when I'm back to being on my own.

Quote from: redforlife on June 14, 2011, 11:16:15 pm

Good luck with it, you know it won't be easy but don't ever feel ashamed at realising you have a problem and doing something about it.

Do you have friends/family you can rely on to help you stay strong?

Cheers mate.

Not really. I did have, but I seem to have done my very best to alienate them with the lies and mood swings. It turns me into a person I'm not, a person that I hate myself, so I can't expect anyone else to put up with it.

Quote from: jason23 on June 14, 2011, 11:46:23 pm

It's the anguish and the brutal honesty in posts like this one that make me glad that a) RAWK is here as an outlet/confessional/help tool and b) that I never got into odds and gambling...

It really is something I'd never recommend to anybody. Whilst I appreciate that there are people out there with better discipline/self-control/plain common sense than me, so know when to stop, the risk is always there - it wouldn't be addictive otherwise. Whilst the buzz of winning is obviously great, it just doesn't compare to the low of realising what a mess you've made of your life. It's simply not worth it.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #103 on:** June 15, 2011, 08:38:42 am »

Quote from: AJ on June 15, 2011, 08:10:00 am

A cliché, I know, but today really is the first day of the rest of my life. One way or another, I've got to beat this.

Thats the fucking spirit mate. You can do this. Beat the fucker into submission and smile. Good luck mate and its good to talk even if its in here, there is a lot of help on these boards.

StevenLFC · « **Reply #104 on:** June 16, 2011, 12:28:11 am »

This thread has helped me. A lot. Recently I've been bored and using my phone or iPod to gamble. I'd be gambling on horses (which I know fuck all about), footie, tennis etc. It was getting pretty bad, chasing money back, losing and getting into a shirty mood. I've just closed my Internet betting accounts. Fuck gambling.

kaz1983 · « **Reply #105 on:** June 16, 2011, 06:39:44 am »

As long as you come out a winner, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to gambling.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #106 on:** June 16, 2011, 07:50:06 am »

Quote from: BMW on June 16, 2011, 06:39:44 am

As long as you come out a winner, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to gambling.

As long as you dont get a hangover being an Alcoholic , theres nowt wrong with it then? An addict never wins, its simple.

Rusty · « **Reply #107 on:** June 16, 2011, 09:31:40 am »

Quote from: BMW on June 16, 2011, 06:39:44 am

As long as you come out a winner, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to gambling.

I'll bet you £50 that in the long term most addicts don't come out winners, and most bookies do.

Effes · « **Reply #108 on:** June 16, 2011, 10:52:47 am »

Quote from: BMW on June 16, 2011, 06:39:44 am

As long as you come out a winner, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to gambling.

I can only guess you're looking for a reaction to this

It's a moronic post

jason42 · « **Reply #109 on:** June 16, 2011, 11:23:20 am »

Quote from: BMW on June 16, 2011, 06:39:44 am

As long as you come out a winner, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to gambling.

That is a very strange post from you......

kaz1983 · « **Reply #110 on:** June 16, 2011, 12:35:14 pm »

Quote from: Effes on June 16, 2011, 10:52:47 am

I can only guess you're looking for a reaction to this

It's a moronic post

That not what I beleive, it's what is often said by people who are additted to gambling but won't/can't admit will tell you -an easy excuse and have heard it myself.

I should of added one of these...

Quote from: Rusty on June 16, 2011, 09:31:40 am

I'll bet you £50 that in the long term most addicts don't come out winners, and most bookies do.

The irony is bookmakers themselves like the taste of gambling, gone are the days were they would make up a book to 115% and lay off with there other bookies if any big bets come in... bookies take risks if they think that it will be profitable these days, laying favorites being the big one etc etc... not saying there are addits but being at a racetrack week in week out for 20 years can distort reality and you don't need to lose money to be additted to gambling either.

AJ · « **Reply #111 on:** June 16, 2011, 06:50:34 pm »

Well, day 2 is coming to an end and all is still well.

Yesterday was fine, today I've thought about it a bit more. I'm coming up to what's going to be a more difficult time - I get paid on Saturdays so there will actually be money in my bank. I suppose it's easy to stay away when there's actually no money to bet with, but a big test will be when there's money in my bank burning a hole.

I keep saying to myself 'well what if I just do a tenner a week' or similar, and it's not good. I don't want these thoughts, because I know I can never restrict myself to that.

It's early days, I guess, so I'm bound to be thinking about it - just wish I wasn't because the temptation is enormous.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #112 on:** June 16, 2011, 06:54:36 pm »

Quote from: AJ on June 16, 2011, 06:50:34 pm

Well, day 2 is coming to an end and all is still well.

Yesterday was fine, today I've thought about it a bit more. I'm coming up to what's going to be a more difficult time - I get paid on Saturdays so there will actually be money in my bank. I suppose it's easy to stay away when there's actually no money to bet with, but a big test will be when there's money in my bank burning a hole.

I keep saying to myself 'well what if I just do a tenner a week' or similar, and it's not good. I don't want these thoughts, because I know I can never restrict myself to that.

It's early days, I guess, so I'm bound to be thinking about it - just wish I wasn't because the temptation is enormous.

You ever thought of giving your card to a mate just for basics. Bills etc. And living expenses.

kaz1983 · « **Reply #113 on:** June 16, 2011, 07:28:45 pm »

I was addicted to the horse when I was younger and lost 2000 dollars in a football match on 1.10 favorites... don't gamble anymore but if I do it's usually 50 on win bet in the horses and betting small money has never been my thing.... I don't tell many people, any really apart from my dad and don't plan to as I'm not exactly proud of it but one learnt is that like smoking you almost never give the first attempt but it take usually more than one attempt, so the worse trap to fall is 'I'm giving now are never' type of thing... all it does is put more pressure on to give up, not exactly helpful considering.

AJ · « **Reply #114 on:** June 16, 2011, 07:54:14 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on June 16, 2011, 06:54:36 pm

You ever thought of giving your card to a mate just for basics. Bills etc. And living expenses.

Well, I cut my card up and asked my mum to change my online banking password so she could transfer me money to my other account when I needed it for going out or whatever, to prevent me having access.

Was all too easy to just lie about why I wanted the money, though, and get money for another bet. It's a nightmare.

lauraRED · « **Reply #115 on:** June 16, 2011, 08:39:14 pm »

Hi, I wanted to ask anyone on this thread who are addicted to gambling; are they in work? and if they aren't how difficult is it to deal with the problem? or has anyone lost there job because of it? and this is not in any way meant to be sarcastic in any way.

AJ · « **Reply #116 on:** June 16, 2011, 09:04:51 pm »

Err, my situation is a bit confusing at the moment. I'm a full-time student, but I'm on placement this year - unpaid. This year has, without doubt, been my worst in terms of my problems with gambling, and I think it's due to the fact that I didn't have much money to start with.

Throughout my time at uni I've had quite a lavish lifestyle. I have lived alone since before I started, so I'm eligible for full loans/grants and I worked part-time too, so I had money to go to the match every week, go out afterwards and still have money left over to have a bet.

This year has been a bit of a shock, because I've gone from getting £8k from uni and £80-£100 a week wages, to £2k from uni and £80 a week. As a result, I haven't been able to live the kind of life I've been used to, so I've tried to generate the income for it by gambling.

However, with so little money anyway, I didn't have that much to spare, so the money I've lost has been to pay for my bills and stuff, which is the real problem.

Not sure whether that answers your question in any way, went off on my own a bit there ha. $:-\$

lauraRED · « **Reply #117 on:** June 16, 2011, 09:34:55 pm »

Thanks for your reply, after reading what you say and again i'm not trying to be smart or facetious but you say you had to pay bills, so what I'm trying to say is do you really think you were an addict or was it more of a bad habit? the reason I ask is my stepdad used to gamble on the horses, and i used to be stuck outside in his work van for hours, he would win hundreds at a time, and within winning it within a fews hours he had lost the lot, he is pensioner now but still has the odd flutter, so im not sure whether an addict is say a person who stops at nothing, although at times my mum was in tears after he had gambled all her housekeeping.

jason42 · « **Reply #118 on:** June 16, 2011, 10:03:52 pm »

Quote from: AJ on June 16, 2011, 09:04:51 pm

Err, my situation is a bit confusing at the moment. I'm a full-time student, but I'm on placement this year - unpaid. This year has, without doubt, been my worst in terms of my problems with gambling, and I think it's due to the fact that I didn't have much money to start with.

Throughout my time at uni I've had quite a lavish lifestyle. I have lived alone since before I started, so I'm eligible for full loans/grants and I worked part-time too, so I had money to go to the match every week, go out afterwards and still have money left over to have a bet.

This year has been a bit of a shock, because I've gone from getting £8k from uni and £80-£100 a week wages, to £2k from uni and £80 a week. As a result, I haven't been able to live the kind of life I've been used to, so I've tried to generate the income for it by gambling.

However, with so little money anyway, I didn't have that much to spare, so the money I've lost has been to pay for my bills and stuff, which is the real problem.

Not sure whether that answers your question in any way, went off on my own a bit there ha. $:-\$

Chasing the dream.....how are you going to manage to pay the bills now?

AJ · « **Reply #119 on:** June 16, 2011, 10:13:27 pm »

Quote from: lauraRED on June 16, 2011, 09:34:55 pm

Thanks for your reply, after reading what you say and again i'm not trying to be smart or facetious but you say you had to pay bills, so what I'm trying to say is do you really think you were an addict or was it more of a bad habit? the reason I ask is my stepdad used to gamble on the horses, and i used to be stuck outside in his work van for hours, he would win hundreds at a time, and within winning it within a fews hours he had lost the lot, he is pensioner now but still has the odd flutter, so im not sure whether an addict is say a person who stops at nothing, although at times my mum was in tears after he had gambled all her housekeeping.

Quote from: jason23 on June 16, 2011, 10:03:52 pm

Chasing the dream.....how are you going to manage to pay the bills now?

I think I said in my first post in this thread that I'm ashamed of my actions because I like to think of myself as relatively intelligent. I suppose there is still a fraction of sense in me, in that I stop before I lose every penny, so I can still pay my bills.

I'm quite well organised, I've got a spreadsheet that details all of my direct debits and the dates they're due, so I always know what is coming out and when. Usually, what I do is, when I get my student loan, I put enough in my 'bill acount' and leave it there to pay off my bills.

What I have found this year is I have done that, but once I've lost my other money, money that is there for me to do what I want with (go out/go to the match/have a bet etc) that I've gone to my bill account. I've always made sure that the bare minimum is left in order to get through the next week, so that's something I suppose, but it's the inability to stop myself from using money that I know I shouldn't.

I think maybe it is my, admittedly very small, amount of common sense that doesn't see my account as having £25 in it now, it sees it as already at £0, because if I lost that £25, my problems would get so much worse.

Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not addicted. They say you shouldn't gamble more than you can afford to lose, and I always make sure I've got enough to pay my bills, so I guess I'm not losing more than I can afford to, but it's really no way to live - week to week, just having enough to scrape the bills. Granted, if I carried on like this forever, things wouldn't get worse, but I'd never have anything. My credit card is maxed, I've got an £1800 overdraft, I owe my mum £3k, my girlfriend is paying me monthly installments to help me get back on my feet. It all adds up and it's all down to gambling.

Bad habit or addiction, it can't carry on.